lost,beginning of the end?/rambling kinda at the end

[AdolescentBoyBlue]

So recently i was enrolled in college and was suppose to study to be an illustrator, but then s*** happened and my depression got bad long story short i had to drop b/c it was making me feel worse.so now i have no clue what im going to do...trying to get a job then idk what happens. Im starting to lose my apettite again oh well its cool whatever,i guess my family was right i dont know crap and i always mess up,thinking of moving out but yeah..after the psych ward thing there probably going to try to pull something to keep me with them ima stop here b/c now im just rambling -___- ugh my head hurts

[Misfit]

I know that feel man, I missed all my final exams for high school after a I got depression, I realised I had to go out and get some sort of a hobby to get my mind off it. I ended up as a suicidal youths and as a volunteer rescue serviceman. As a youth worker I saw what others had gone through, stories similar and different to mine, everyone had a story and I realised that I still had it better than a lot of them. As a rescue man I felt a sense of achievement when we successfully completed a rescue, you know that you've really helped someone who needed it and their gratitude was enough, not to mention the other members were some of the most friendly, kind hearted people I'd ever met.
If I can suggest anything volunteering to a good cause is a great way to get your mind of whatever it is that is bother you, personal fitness was also something I worked on, I started running with some music playing which was great time to reflect on everything.

These were just some things from my experience that helped me, maybe they'll help you too?

[1_21Guns]

It's not to late to do illustration if that's what you want to do, take it up as a hobby, do it at the side of a job, don't give up on it if that's what you want to do. Your family aren't right, you're not stupid (as I'm assuming saying you don't know anything makes you feel) and you don't screw everything up. You're human, you're bound to make mistakes, just as they are, just as anyone is. Nobody can stop you from doing what you want to do, particularly if you're showing improvement, they have no reason to keep you for anything regarding the ward if you're showing you're getting better, use your interest in art as a way to relax, as a way to free your mind and keep yourself, try and keep your head high, you're stronger than your depression :)