CaptainC
September 2nd, 2013, 06:56 PM
Hi all,
I'm new to this forum, but I've been looking for a place where I might be able to discuss some of the issues I've had, and maybe find some people who feel the same way. My LGBT-spectrum friends can't seem to answer my questions any better than I can.
Basically, my dilemma is this: I have thought I was gay or bisexual for about the last three years. That is, I have had sexual thoughts/urges toward other males and had a desire to act upon those curiosities. However, I put it on hold for much of high school as I had a 18-month or so infatuation with a female that never really led anywhere, but most of my sexual tension was directed toward her at the time. I have since discovered that my infatuation with her wasn't really sexual, but more emotional, as I was still thinking about men sexually during that time. Her being physically appealing just added to the emotional attraction.
After we had a falling out, I pursued a male. He's openly gay. For the purposes of this forum, I don't think I can be too specific, but several weeks ago, we fooled around. And...I didn't like it, or feel comfortable. At all. Thinking about it before hand made me very excited, and I was looking so forward to experimenting...and then in the moment, it just didn't feel right at all. Since we had our encounter, my sex drive feels like it has been reduced by 80-90%. I went from a very normal sex drive directed largely at men (sometimes at women, granted, I was a virgin with both genders, and still am with women) to a very, very low sex drive. Now, however, there seems to be a problem. I have a quite intense emotional attraction to this guy. Bigger problem: he has a boyfriend. Even bigger problem: he seems to want to continue fooling around because the two of us are good friends and he doesn't seem to be having much sexual activity with his boyfriend.
So basically, I've lost almost all of my sex drive toward both genders after messing around with a guy, but now I really feel emotionally and romantically attached to said guy who has a boyfriend. My fear was that he would get emotionally attracted to me and I would break his heart or something (because before we messed around I was planning on it being a regular thing), but it appears to have become the other way around.
Do y'all think I'm asexual? Gay? Bisexual? Really confused? Is it possible to have your sex drive temporarily stunted? Or do you think that this is permanent, and I've really been an ace the whole time?
Thanks.
I'm new to this forum, but I've been looking for a place where I might be able to discuss some of the issues I've had, and maybe find some people who feel the same way. My LGBT-spectrum friends can't seem to answer my questions any better than I can.
Basically, my dilemma is this: I have thought I was gay or bisexual for about the last three years. That is, I have had sexual thoughts/urges toward other males and had a desire to act upon those curiosities. However, I put it on hold for much of high school as I had a 18-month or so infatuation with a female that never really led anywhere, but most of my sexual tension was directed toward her at the time. I have since discovered that my infatuation with her wasn't really sexual, but more emotional, as I was still thinking about men sexually during that time. Her being physically appealing just added to the emotional attraction.
After we had a falling out, I pursued a male. He's openly gay. For the purposes of this forum, I don't think I can be too specific, but several weeks ago, we fooled around. And...I didn't like it, or feel comfortable. At all. Thinking about it before hand made me very excited, and I was looking so forward to experimenting...and then in the moment, it just didn't feel right at all. Since we had our encounter, my sex drive feels like it has been reduced by 80-90%. I went from a very normal sex drive directed largely at men (sometimes at women, granted, I was a virgin with both genders, and still am with women) to a very, very low sex drive. Now, however, there seems to be a problem. I have a quite intense emotional attraction to this guy. Bigger problem: he has a boyfriend. Even bigger problem: he seems to want to continue fooling around because the two of us are good friends and he doesn't seem to be having much sexual activity with his boyfriend.
So basically, I've lost almost all of my sex drive toward both genders after messing around with a guy, but now I really feel emotionally and romantically attached to said guy who has a boyfriend. My fear was that he would get emotionally attracted to me and I would break his heart or something (because before we messed around I was planning on it being a regular thing), but it appears to have become the other way around.
Do y'all think I'm asexual? Gay? Bisexual? Really confused? Is it possible to have your sex drive temporarily stunted? Or do you think that this is permanent, and I've really been an ace the whole time?
Thanks.