Is there a way of knowing?

[sophxo]

So basically I'm 17 and have chosen to stay a virgin untill I find someone I actually like... I have been sexually active since the age of 14 (as in everything but sex) but now I have found someone I do like.

I understand its most likely going to hurt the first time which isnt the issue, the problem Im having is whether there is a way of knowing if your hymen is already 'broken' or not. Like can you tell by looking because I've looked but I dont know what I'm looking for to know if its broken or not...

Also Ive grown up with my own horses since about the age of 7 and have always ran everyday and Ive noticed people say these things could have already broken it? I thought maybe it would already have broken because of all the excersize but I dont use tampons so my friends have said I need to for it to break?! Im just really confused right now haha

The reason Im so interested to find out is because I have this horrible fear of my first time ending with blood everywhere... Id just feel so embarresed :(

Sorry its a bit long but any help is welcome thanks x

[Magenta]

Let me tell you that most stuff you hear about your hymen and virginity is crap.

Yes, exercise, horse-back riding, bicycling, running, tampons, masturbation, etc, can break it. In some women, it can actually return to its original condition even after breaking, simply leave remnants of it, or disappear completely. It varies from person to person. Yes, you can also tell whether or not you have one by looking. If the vaginal opening (the big hole) isn't visible because it's covered by a thin layer of... well, I guess it just looks like skin, that is your hymen. Sometimes it can have mostly hymen and a smaller hole or a few smaller holes or a couple bigger holes and not be broken all the way. It can differ and a simple Google search can find you some decent diagrams if you're still confused. Like I said, it varies from woman to woman depending on many factors. Honestly, these days, most girls do not have a full hymen by the time they become sexually active. (Hell, I don't ever remember having one.)

A little bit of blood your first time is perfectly natural. Some tearing in the remains of your hymen (if you still have any) can occur and that's perfectly okay. It's not usually that much blood at all. If you're worried, explain this to your potential partner (if it's something you feel comfortable discussing) or just go slow.

[Luminous]

If it's 'broken', you should be able to fit 2-3 fingers in there. There's nothing visible that you can really see. If you've been riding that long you've probably broken it. Even if it isn't, there will only be a tiny bit of a blood, you likely wouldn't even notice it while having sex.

[ElliEvens]

Sophie, as others have said, the hymen thing has a bunch of bad information about it. First you can't break it. It isn't like a bone. Ha I know you know that but I hate the term "break". It is a piece of flesh and it stretches and on some tears slightly if it isn't allowed to stretch and is just forced to give all at once.

Honestly, I can't really remember any real discomfort with mine. I was using tampons since I got my period, and had been masturbating with penetration (fingers and like stuff) for over a year when I finally had a boy. If you honestly want to know if there will be pain then just slowly use a finger or two and put them in and see how it feels. If two fingers go in without discomfort then you should be fine with a boy. But honestly it's more about relaxing and not tensing and being nervous. No one but you can do anything about that.

Take care and have fun, El

[Special K]

It's not really a discomfort thing and it is tough to know outside of inserting into your vagina.

[Poisonberry]

You could also ask your ob/gyn...

[AMERICANelite123]

The hymen isn't a covering or barrier as most think or else you wouldn't be able to have periods or other things. Yes, many women experience pain and small to a decent amount of blood. I know my first time, oh boy did that hurt! But every time after it becomes less painful. I'm not saying to go and have sex to get it over with, just make sure it is with the right person, someone you feel you can trust since it is and can be a very emotional thing. A suggestion would to be to explore yourself if you feel comfortable. The first time you have sex, if at all possible I would say you should use some sort of sexual lubricant that can be purchased which can ease the pain if present. I hope this helped out hun. Protect yourself

[laurakoller0815]

if you really wanna be sure you should visit your gyn