Racially Locked Dating

[Meganium]

Has anyone's parents raised you to or instructed you to keep your relationships within the race? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Do you mind it a lot? Do you agree with any reason for their disapproval? Legitimate or not? Are you currently in a relationship with a person of your own race because of this disapproval? Does your race tend to frown upon those who date outside their race?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I just find it interesting/sad in some cases how people are limited to their own race to achieve a feeling of love.

I'm African-American, and usually, at least in my area, it is strongly frowned upon for people like me to date a person of a different race or skin color. Especially Caucasian women.

But I've been raised and taught around Caucasian people all my life, and I fail to understand why I should be limited to these women in my area who genuinely don't care about themselves or others. I hate to back up stereotypes, but really, people are just so careless and ignorant in my place, that I'm not really attracted to my race anymore.

But yeah. Thoughts?

[conniption]

I feel the exact same way. I'm Hispanic and my mom is always telling me that I should get myself a Hispanic boyfriend. I went to a middle school where the majority of the population was white, I remember telling her that I liked a boy in my class and she told me that a white guy would never want me because they like to stick to their own race. I was a bit put off by the comment as it was a really bold thing to say and it was untrue, because there were interracial couples at school. Now, I go to a highschool where there are a lot more Hispanics and they're always making remarks about how I act like a white girl and how I'm not a real Hispanic for liking white guys. How can you even act like a white person? When I find a guy attractive I don't care about their race, if you're handsome, you're handsome and that's the end of that. It's just hard to understand how people can say you're not really whatever race you are because of how you act and who you like.

[teen.jpg]

My step-mom said that, but I could care less. She told me not to bring home any "white girls". Honestly I couldn't care less about anybody's else's opinion but my own.

[Cygnus]

I am white and my parents do not mind me dating anyone of any race, nor do I. Thats because in Venezuela there is a lot of racial variety and not much conflict between the races.

[kylem1229]

Parents dont mind about race or religion...as long as their some-what nice. Doesnt matter since i havent found anyone yet anyways.

[Tarannosaurus]

My parents are more worried about me keeping to the right gender at the moment, never mind the right race. However my father is extremely racist so it would probably be a problem.

[Slippers]

My parents have never advised me to only date girls of my own race. However, I dated a girl very briefly recently who was originally from India and was settling in London with her parents. I liked her and I'm guessing she liked me but her parents didn't like the idea of her dating a guy who is white. It was quite unfortunate because I'm not too good with girls (when it comes to dating) and I must confess that it dented my confidence a lot.

[justin 13]

Well dude Im my church they advise us to respect the differences between races and don't discriminate.

[NeverFazed]

I'm Hispanic and my parents are always encouraging me to marry a white girl or a Asian girl cause they tend to be more educated.:D

[Camazotz]

My parents are of different races, so they obviously wouldn't mind me dating any person of another race.

[chezhans]

has anyone's parents raised you to or instructed you to keep your relationships within the race? If so, what are your thoughts on it? Do you mind it a lot? Do you agree with any reason for their disapproval? Legitimate or not? Are you currently in a relationship with a person of your own race because of this disapproval? Does your race tend to frown upon those who date outside their race?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I just find it interesting/sad in some cases how people are limited to their own race to achieve a feeling of love.

I'm african-american, and usually, at least in my area, it is strongly frowned upon for people like me to date a person of a different race or skin color. Especially caucasian women.

But i've been raised and taught around caucasian people all my life, and i fail to understand why i should be limited to these women in my area who genuinely don't care about themselves or others. I hate to back up stereotypes, but really, people are just so careless and ignorant in my place, that i'm not really attracted to my race anymore.

But yeah. Thoughts?

may i remind everyone...it is your life not theirs! Your life is your interest and if that means doing a cross-culture then it means a cross-culture. This is a free world (or at least so we like to think) so we should be employing it. Your life, your girl, your love

[Luminous]

I was not and never have been taught that, my parents always taught me that everyone is equal. We don't judge anyone by their race. I am not currently in a relationship but if I was I wouldn't care whether they are Caucasian (which I am) or not.

[LouBerry]

My parents have never told me to date within my race, but it's always been obvious that it was the "right" thing to do. My dad would freak if I brought home a Mexican, or a black guy, but if the guy was, I don't know, Asian or European, he wouldn't mind at all. It's racism.

I wouldn't consider my dad racist. He works with plenty of black/Hispanic people through the college, and he really adores them. Same with my step mom, she doesn't really care what colour you are, as long as you work hard, she's cool.

But, in America, we're all a little racist. I mean, I would never think about judging someone by something like their skin, but sometimes, like last night when I was walking with Seth back to his dorm room, we passed a group of black men, standing around a parking lot, and I wouldn't go that way, we walked around the back of another building.

I'd like to say that I'd react the same way if it was a group of Asians or white guys, but I don't know that I would have. I've been conditioned to think that a situation like that is dangerous, and that's not right, but that's how it is.

I have a friend at school, Xavior, and he's black. We talked about this the other day, and he said that it's the same way for him. He grew up thinking that he's going to be judged and oppressed by every white person he knows, and that he instantly tries to find the bad in people until he gets to know them. But it's not on purpose, it's how he was raised. It's how we're all raised. And isn't it sad?

[conniption]

My parents have never told me to date within my race, but it's always been obvious that it was the "right" thing to do. My dad would freak if I brought home a Mexican, or a black guy, but if the guy was, I don't know, Asian or European, he wouldn't mind at all. It's racism.

I wouldn't consider my dad racist. He works with plenty of black/Hispanic people through the college, and he really adores them. Same with my step mom, she doesn't really care what colour you are, as long as you work hard, she's cool.

But, in America, we're all a little racist. I mean, I would never think about judging someone by something like their skin, but sometimes, like last night when I was walking with Seth back to his dorm room, we passed a group of black men, standing around a parking lot, and I wouldn't go that way, we walked around the back of another building.

I'd like to say that I'd react the same way if it was a group of Asians or white guys, but I don't know that I would have. I've been conditioned to think that a situation like that is dangerous, and that's not right, but that's how it is.

I have a friend at school, Xavior, and he's black. We talked about this the other day, and he said that it's the same way for him. He grew up thinking that he's going to be judged and oppressed by every white person he knows, and that he instantly tries to find the bad in people until he gets to know them. But it's not on purpose, it's how he was raised. It's how we're all raised. And isn't it sad?

Very true. I never really cared much about someone's race when I was younger, I'd notice they were white, black, or whatever, but I never thought much of it. It wasn't until I was around 12 years old that some of my friends would see a group of people and say things like, "Look at those black kids," or "Did you see what those white girls were wearing today?" That's when I really started to notice everyone's race and associate certain stereotypes with them. It's like once you start hearing all these generalizations about people they stick onto your brain and you can't get rid of them. It's a fucking disease really.

[LouBerry]

It's a fucking disease really.

It really is.

[Gumleaf]

I agree with what Elizabeth has said. But my parents are clearly not troubled by it. My very first gf when I was like 13 was an Asian girl. I've also dated a girl that is half Indian/half Australian as well as a white caucasian Australian girl. My firm opinion is if there is something there or you're in love, then why not? A friend of my former housemate and who is a friend of mine now recently married a girl who is half Canadian and half Philipino and he is Australian. They were in love, and it makes me happy to see how things turned out for them.

[Laquifa]

I'm not locked to one race. My mother taught me to see people for who they are, not the color of their skin. I'm happy with my Caucasian boyfriend (:

[Pittsburgh]

In the area I live in it is very frowned upon. I dont think its right but it is what it is!

[Suave]

I black too and I don't understand it either. I think it is just racism and the way they were raised. The thing about interracial dating is you never who will agree or disagree.

[Special K]

If my parents ever did I'd tell them to fuck off.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

Don't think my parents care or would care. I mean If they did, we'd have a problem. So what if I happen to like someone who isn't Caucasian.

[Blood]

Oh man. This has been such a touchy situation in my house. My dad is incredibly racist (this developed in recent years) and my mom is pretty open to all races.

My dad is Nicaraguan and my mom is Creole. Born and raised in New Orleans, a very mixed community, I think mixed people are attractive. I just love all the different qualities they possess. Dating wise that's usually what I'm attracted too. I'm not saying that other races/ethnicities aren't attractive, because they are, I'm just saying that my preference is a mixture of them.

My dad has a HUGE fucking problem with this. He gets so mad if I so much as think of bringing home a mixed guy. He wants me to date only white and central American or Mexican guys.

So because of his fucked up view on people, I don't really date. Which sucks. I know it sounds petty, but one day I hope people can love who they want to love regardless of racial issues.