Big problem!

[Vadim]

Hi,

I think I have a really big problem. This all started a few months ago when I have witnessed when my coach spanked another boy (my classmate actually). It wasn't terrible or anything like that he just pulled down his boxers and spanked his naked behind with a rubber shoe a few times. The thing is that this boy did not take it very well, he started crying, and was all upset, and I really felt sorry for him. But at the same time, I got aroused all of a sudden, and it was so strong that I just had to run away because people would notice. I have never been so much aroused in my life, ever.

And ever since then (and it's been months!), I keep getting these arousals every time I so much as just think about that boy, let alone actually see him in school. I even had to excuse myself from classes and run to bathroom and jerk off because he was sitting close to me.

I have a pic of his face from an old yearbook, and I carry it with me all the time now, and jerk off several times a day just looking at it. I thought this would pass with time, but it is only getting stronger. Even over the summer, when I did not have to see him in school every day, there was not a single day I would not remember about him, and every time I think about him, I get all aroused and start shaking, and need to jerk off to become normal again.
I am afraid, to go to school on Tuesday, because I think, people will notice what's happening to me when I see him.

I am so obsessed with him, that I am afraid, I might do something bad. The thing is, I want him to cry again, so that I could then hug him to comfort, and it would not be weird. I stole his iphone once, because I thought, he'd be upset that he lost it, but he did not cry, so I gave it back. And now I am thinking about faking one of his tests, to make it all wrong, so that he gets an F, and then the coach would spank him again! I know this is wrong, and I don't want to do it, but I am just so obsessed, that I literally cannot think about anything else. Even now, writing about it, I am getting aroused and excited.

I am getting totally desperate because of this. It seems that there is nothing I can do to get rid of this weird obsession. Maybe I need to see a shrink, but I am afraid, that he would tell everything to my parents, and I would much rather die than to have anyone know about this stuff. What can I do? Any ideas?

[sqishy]

I can't help that much, but I can say that I have and still am under a similar situation. It sounds like you have a deep crush on this person, and I have had something almost exactly like that. Though I mentioned it in other posts, I will say it here by itself.

There was this guy in my primary (elementary) school, who was in the other class of the 2 classes in our year. I knew he existed and knew who he was for all that time, nothing more. He was just a person in the background. We both went into the same secondary (middle) school (like most of us did from that primary school), and nothing much happened there either. It was only in 2009 that, when he let his hair grow the medium length (not short or very long), what I suddenly found him very attractive. I mean VERY attractive; every feature of his body jumped out to me, and I knew I was getting a rush of adrenalin when I saw him.

This grew more intense for the next two years, and I observed as much as I could about him, and discovered that his personality was not too much different than mine, and that I liked that too. So I developed this long-term obsession with him. Not that I thought a lot about him every day, but that I always knew where he was in school, and that I'd pay more attention to his actions when I had the chance.

I kept all this a total secret, and I was even not trying to accept that I was being sexually attracted towards the same gender. But I still let it happen. He knew nothing of my actions or much about me at all, and I was awkward near him and I would very rarely see him. In fact, I've only engaged in 3 short conversations with him ever, and he saw me as a stranger, nothing more. That hurt me.

When I discovered that he didn't get a place in the optional 4th year for secondary school and I did, I knew that he would be leaving school a year early compared to me, as he'd start his 5th year when I start the 4th. So I knew my time was limited, and I was eager to learn even more about him. And so the last 2 years went by, me having a greater attraction to him ever. But I never had the courage to even just talk to him; I was wanting to get closer and yet I was drawing the line.

So he did his end-of-school exams in June this year, and I never saw him ever again after the 23rd. Now my emotions invested in this deep crush on him were isolated, without him to live on. and ever since I've been getting low moods and even flashes of depression due to me knowing that I can't see him, and that it wouldn't go anywhere anyways if I could see him again.

Me missing him is now happening in less common but more intense mood swings, and the absence in the school of where he was is not helping. I am glad that I stopped seeing him in a way, because if he did the 4th year as well, my extra year of getting more attached to him would make the final separation much worse. Even still, the only reason why I feel left behind because of him is that he is gone into university, and I am still here.

I can only give you advice, and it is in the form of a choice.

You either go with your attraction to him or you don't. If you do, your obsession will become less bad as you find out more about him, and if you socialize with him, it might show you parts of his personality that you don't like, turning you off, or you'll like him even more, intensifying the attraction to him. Be warned though: If he doesn't like you much or sees you as just somebody in his school, then any hopes of a relationship starting are very unlikely, and the obsession you have with him will only cause harm when you see that things cannot turn out. But maybe everything will go right. Those are the possibilities if you go with it. If you don't go with your obsession, and choose to go against it, you may be preventing many more months of getting more attracted to him when he doesn't to you, and you realize that you will lose a lot, when it comes to your emotions and feeling towards him losing him, as you take your separate ways when school ends.

This is very long, I am sorry :(. I hope I don't sound too long-winded or pessimistic, but the advice is your choice to take. Just know that you are not alone in being in situations like these.

[Living For Love]

Whatever you do, please don't fake his test or do any harm to him. Why won't you just speak with him, start a random conversation, maybe he'll like your type and you guys could just have some good time together.

[justin 13]

Sorry Dude I think this coach has to go to jail. That was totally wrong and unacceptable. I cant help u about the part u get horny about that stuff but to me sound weird the behavior of the coach and the school authorities allowing that. I had a crush too and went badly but that's other story.

[Bazinga]

Yeh i agree with Justin, I dunno where you live and how laws go but what the coach did is just wrong. You obviously have a huge crush on him, try and socialise and then you can get too know him better. Faking his tests or whatever probably wouldn't turn out how you'd like it too and even if it did do you not think you'd feel pretty guilty? Try keep your feelings under control and just socialise with him and see how you feel.

[tim13531]

u might want to tell him

[Josh from SoCal]

another "new member" with a post that sounds kinda invented as if someone is writing out a fantasy to get others to comment on it. stuff like this from an established member, maybe. but this is what you start out with? seems pretty suspicious to me.

[Living For Love]

another "new member" with a post that sounds kinda invented as if someone is writing out a fantasy to get others to comment on it. stuff like this from an established member, maybe. but this is what you start out with? seems pretty suspicious to me.

It's suspicious, you're right, but as we can't really see if he is telling the truth or not, let's just give him some piece of advice. It's not the first person I see having this kind of opinion, thinking that some stories around VT are just pure fantasies and immagination. This forum exists so that people can share their real stories and experiences, I hope that everyone around here really need our help and aren't just wasting our time by making us read fake stuff.

[Vadim]

First of, about the coach. Like I said before, it's not really a big a deal, and we don't actually mind. I mean it's not like I am going to go around telling stories about being spanked on the butt, so I thunk the coach is fairly safe on that respect lol. Besides like I said, we don't really mind all that much. I have been on other teams where everything is by the book, and one would get detentions and trips to principal office and even could get kicked off the team for any little thing like missing a stupid homework deadline and such. I actually prefer it this way, when little problems like that can be resolved quietly and privately without involving parents and higher ups.

I don't really think I have a crush on him. See, I don't think ibcare much about him as a person, and Iam not looking for a relationship not with him anyway. It is just this situation, where he is so vulnerable and crying that excites me somehow. I want to hug him and feel his body under my arms, and fantasize about it (and worse!) all the time, like some crazy pervert. I just want to get rid of this somehow, and be normal again. Ther is no chance in hell I am telling him or anyone else about this. I would rather die than risk this ever getting out.

And to those who think I am fake. I can only tell you I WISH! All I want is to wake up one day and realize that this was all a bad dream, or a fake story I heard and was not really happening to me! Yeah, I am a new member, because I am not an online type. And besides my parents are kinda strict about this, and I don't much chance to hang around on forums normally. But this is a kind of thing, that I could never share with anyone I know, and I thought that hearing what others think might help, so I came here to share with you guys.

[Living For Love]

First of, about the coach. Like I said before, it's not really a big a deal, and we don't actually mind. I mean it's not like I am going to go around telling stories about being spanked on the butt, so I thunk the coach is fairly safe on that respect lol. Besides like I said, we don't really mind all that much. I have been on other teams where everything is by the book, and one would get detentions and trips to principal office and even could get kicked off the team for any little thing like missing a stupid homework deadline and such. I actually prefer it this way, when little problems like that can be resolved quietly and privately without involving parents and higher ups.

I don't really think I have a crush on him. See, I don't think ibcare much about him as a person, and Iam not looking for a relationship not with him anyway. It is just this situation, where he is so vulnerable and crying that excites me somehow. I want to hug him and feel his body under my arms, and fantasize about it (and worse!) all the time, like some crazy pervert. I just want to get rid of this somehow, and be normal again. Ther is no chance in hell I am telling him or anyone else about this. I would rather die than risk this ever getting out.

And to those who think I am fake. I can only tell you I WISH! All I want is to wake up one day and realize that this was all a bad dream, or a fake story I heard and was not really happening to me! Yeah, I am a new member, because I am not an online type. And besides my parents are kinda strict about this, and I don't much chance to hang around on forums normally. But this is a kind of thing, that I could never share with anyone I know, and I thought that hearing what others think might help, so I came here to share with you guys.

Alright, sorry if I sounded disrespectful, but I still think you need to try to talk to him and get to know him better. And you're not a pervert or crazy, I guess it's just some kind of crush-type feeling, it will eventually go away.

[Vadim]

I don't really know how i would talk to him. Even seeing him from distance I shake an hyperventillate as if i am looking at a bunch of hottest porn you ever seen. I dont think i would be able to say anything to him if i get close. Besides, what would i even say??? Like "hi, do you mind crying a little bit cuz I want to hug you?"
I mean if someone told me a story like this about me,i would totally freak out. I mean I don't know what i'd do really but iam certain it would not help me get closer with the guy who had this kind of "crush" on me. I'd probably want to be as far away from him as i could.

[Special K]

Just talk to him and try to be his friend. But don't make a move unless you are sure he is into it.

[ksdnfkfr]

The story is hard to believe because in most places the coach would be in huge trouble for doing something like that, he would have been fired right away for starters.

If getting together with this guy is even a good idea, probably you should say to him that you feel really bad about what happened to him to start out with.

[Vadim]

Nah, I already explained about the coach. Look, it's not like we are forced to do it. I mean everyone always can choose his own punishment, if you are somehow against this, you can always opt for a detention or being suspended from the team or whatever, depending on what happened. I don't know of anyone choosing that ever though. It is actually a good thing to have a choice, isn't it. So, like i said, I think, it's not likely anything bad happening to coach over this, cuz there is no one willing to rat him out, we guys actually like it this way, rather than taking a more "conventional" punishment, that's in reality going to be a lot more severe.
So, I don't really "feel bad about what happened to him" like you suggested. It's not like he took a real bad beating and is damaged for life because of it, he just let his emotions take over for a minute, and probably has forgotten all about it way back then. So, I don't feel bad about what happened to him. In fact, there is nothing i would like more than it happening to him again! I know its wrong, and I hate myself for wanting it, but that's the only thing I am thinking about when I take my "bathroom break" (which happens all the time now, everytime I so much as think about him). That's exactly why I am afraid of going back to school tomorrow, where I get to see him for the whole day! I don't really see how talking to him would make any of this better. I don't know if I even can talk him without embarrassing myself real bad. (((

[Fraser]

WHAATT??? If anyone witnessed a coach do this at my school, he'd be outta there in 10 minutes. I can't imagine a school could have punishments like this.


Also, I really think you need to consider your feelings for this boy. Standing by and saying that you "didn't feel bad for him" is totally immoral. As is stealing from him and faking his test. Things like this can cause serious problems for him. Think about his feelings, don't be selfish and think about your own pleasure.

[ksdnfkfr]

Nah, I already explained about the coach. Look, it's not like we are forced to do it. I mean everyone always can choose his own punishment, if you are somehow against this, you can always opt for a detention or being suspended from the team or whatever, depending on what happened. I don't know of anyone choosing that ever though. It is actually a good thing to have a choice, isn't it. So, like i said, I think, it's not likely anything bad happening to coach over this, cuz there is no one willing to rat him out, we guys actually like it this way, rather than taking a more "conventional" punishment, that's in reality going to be a lot more severe.

Well I don't know where you're from, but in the US and UK a teacher/coach pulling down a child's pants is against the law. Look how turned on you got by it. That's why it's wrong for an adult to expose a child that way. I don't think you're going to find anyone else here who has seen anything like that. It is wrong and the coach is abusing you kids.


So, I don't really "feel bad about what happened to him" like you suggested. It's not like he took a real bad beating and is damaged for life because of it, he just let his emotions take over for a minute, and probably has forgotten all about it way back then. So, I don't feel bad about what happened to him. In fact, there is nothing i would like more than it happening to him again! I know its wrong, and I hate myself for wanting it, but that's the only thing I am thinking about when I take my "bathroom break" (which happens all the time now, everytime I so much as think about him). That's exactly why I am afraid of going back to school tomorrow, where I get to see him for the whole day! I don't really see how talking to him would make any of this better. I don't know if I even can talk him without embarrassing myself real bad. (((

This is just too unusual to me for me to be able relate to it. I have no idea what to say to you about it.

[Pittsburgh]

I think the right ppl need to know about this!