Victory
August 30th, 2013, 03:16 AM
... I guess "oppressed" is an accurate word... Let me know if there's a better one. But I'll elaborate.
So, not very many people in my life know I'm a lesbian. Nearly all of my family are completely in the dark on the subject, and most of my friends think I'm bisexual because I've publicly dated a guy or two in the past. For some reason, people seem to be more accepting of a bisexual or "bi-curious" girl than a gay girl.
Anyway, I turned 18 last month and since then I've been going to different 18 and over clubs. If you know what Bourbon Street is, I live like a half hour away from there. There's like a whole street bloc of gay clubs. They call it the gay bloc, lol. I've been there twice now and have had great times. But closer to where I live, there's only one gay club. I went there for the first time recently with a group of mainly straight friends, and a local church was protesting outside. They were giving out little bibles, but were mainly spewing hate over their microphones about how "gays go to Hell" and stuff. It was the first time I had really been exposed to anything like that, and the worst part was that most of the group of friends that I was with didn't know about me, and I couldn't really show how upset I was. I was able to sneak to the bathroom and have a nice cry though...
It reminded me of a couple years ago. I've come out to several friends, some girls some guys, but have been pretty selective as to who I tell. Of course, I don't think me being gay is a big deal, but I know a lot of my friends would/do. Well, once I made the wrong decision as to who to tell. I think it was like the first time I had drank alcohol, and I was sort of tipsy and talking to this girl I had known since like 1st grade. She was pretty buzzed too and we were talking about boys. She asked me if I thought some guy we knew was cute because she heard he liked me, and I just came right out and told her I was a lesbian.... She just gasped and said that she had heard of me kissing girls but thought that it was just for fun or something. When I told her that I just liked girls, she called me a disgusting homo and walked off.
That whole school year everyone in our class had heard I was a lesbian. I dated a guy for a few months, partly to force myself into liking guys (he was very handsome and popular), partly to persuade everyone I wasn't a lesbian. Of course, I never ended up actually liking the guy or actually finding him attractive and sort of felt bad for using him and leading him on, but it did sort of work. After that I didn't hear of people talking about me.
So yeah, I think it'd be nice to hear about people that have had it better or worse than myself when it comes to their sexual identity. Has anyone just never had anyone be mean or negative toward their sexual preference? Has anyone had moments like mine, or worse? Let me know... If anyone wants to hear about the SUCCESSFUL coming out moments I've had, I'd love to share those as well, haha.
So, not very many people in my life know I'm a lesbian. Nearly all of my family are completely in the dark on the subject, and most of my friends think I'm bisexual because I've publicly dated a guy or two in the past. For some reason, people seem to be more accepting of a bisexual or "bi-curious" girl than a gay girl.
Anyway, I turned 18 last month and since then I've been going to different 18 and over clubs. If you know what Bourbon Street is, I live like a half hour away from there. There's like a whole street bloc of gay clubs. They call it the gay bloc, lol. I've been there twice now and have had great times. But closer to where I live, there's only one gay club. I went there for the first time recently with a group of mainly straight friends, and a local church was protesting outside. They were giving out little bibles, but were mainly spewing hate over their microphones about how "gays go to Hell" and stuff. It was the first time I had really been exposed to anything like that, and the worst part was that most of the group of friends that I was with didn't know about me, and I couldn't really show how upset I was. I was able to sneak to the bathroom and have a nice cry though...
It reminded me of a couple years ago. I've come out to several friends, some girls some guys, but have been pretty selective as to who I tell. Of course, I don't think me being gay is a big deal, but I know a lot of my friends would/do. Well, once I made the wrong decision as to who to tell. I think it was like the first time I had drank alcohol, and I was sort of tipsy and talking to this girl I had known since like 1st grade. She was pretty buzzed too and we were talking about boys. She asked me if I thought some guy we knew was cute because she heard he liked me, and I just came right out and told her I was a lesbian.... She just gasped and said that she had heard of me kissing girls but thought that it was just for fun or something. When I told her that I just liked girls, she called me a disgusting homo and walked off.
That whole school year everyone in our class had heard I was a lesbian. I dated a guy for a few months, partly to force myself into liking guys (he was very handsome and popular), partly to persuade everyone I wasn't a lesbian. Of course, I never ended up actually liking the guy or actually finding him attractive and sort of felt bad for using him and leading him on, but it did sort of work. After that I didn't hear of people talking about me.
So yeah, I think it'd be nice to hear about people that have had it better or worse than myself when it comes to their sexual identity. Has anyone just never had anyone be mean or negative toward their sexual preference? Has anyone had moments like mine, or worse? Let me know... If anyone wants to hear about the SUCCESSFUL coming out moments I've had, I'd love to share those as well, haha.