How do you tell if a boy is gay?

[Thatoneguy3179]

His do you tell if a gay boy is gay? There are absolutely no freshmen at my school who have come out. I'm one of them. I know that eventually I need to come out to, but I think the best way to do that would be to come out at the same time as someone else so you have someone behind your back. The problem is, I have no way to find a guy to come out with. Should I just wait until someone else comes out or is there a way to tell if somebody is gay? I don't want to offend anybody by assuming they're gay but... Ugh. Please post your answers? Thanks!

- mason g

[Swagamemmnon]

His do you tell if a gay boy is gay? There are absolutely no freshmen at my school who have come out. I'm one of them. I know that eventually I need to come out to, but I think the best way to do that would be to come out at the same time as someone else so you have someone behind your back. The problem is, I have no way to find a guy to come out with. Should I just wait until someone else comes out or is there a way to tell if somebody is gay? I don't want to offend anybody by assuming they're gay but... Ugh. Please post your answers? Thanks!

- mason g

Honestly, there is no surefire formula for determining someone's sexual orientation. The best place to start is a school GSA, where you might have sophomores/juniors/etc. behind you if/when you come out. Alternatively, you could just find straight allies who will support you in coming out.

[teen.jpg]

You don't. Unless he tells you he's gay, you shouldn't assume anything.

[ksdnfkfr]

Like another gay boy my age said here, I'm not coming out til I'm 18. Some might guess because I'm quiet and a softy, but if so they're not letting on. Most guys keep it secret so they make it hard for anyone to tell for sure.

[Twilly F. Sniper]

You can't unfortunately. :/ until they come out. Which I did last year when I was 15.

[ska8er]

unless u get a feeling that another boy is interested in u or other boys u cant tell for sure.

[Josh from SoCal]

Hi Mason . you just have to pay really close attention to get an idea. but even then, you are just guessing. I'd just be chill about it for now and kinda keep your eyes and ears open. you'll start to be able to get a sense of who might be open to experimenting or is gay. Either way, it's scary to figure out who you can open up to. From what I can tell, once you are out, most ppl stop caring either way and you will then find out who is. How old are you? If you are the first guy to come out, then you will be a hero to a lot of ppl. but you might also get some ridicule. usually the support of your friends will overcome any jerks.

[justin 13]

OMG dude thats a good question. Im gay not out. Im really care about myself in my str8 role cuz my life will be hell if I come out..so is hard to know others if they r like me. BUT there r some str8 curious boys that maybe r willing to experiment. I was with one like 2 months ago. He kept my secret. Is really hard.

[DerBear]

I mean the only way you have a chance is if you follow stereotypes but they tend to be very very false to begin with so I guess you can't unless they are open and say they are.

[Tarannosaurus]

His do you tell if a gay boy is gay? There are absolutely no freshmen at my school who have come out. I'm one of them. I know that eventually I need to come out to, but I think the best way to do that would be to come out at the same time as someone else so you have someone behind your back. The problem is, I have no way to find a guy to come out with. Should I just wait until someone else comes out or is there a way to tell if somebody is gay? I don't want to offend anybody by assuming they're gay but... Ugh. Please post your answers? Thanks!

- mason g

I'm afraid there is no hard and fast rule that always applies. You could trust your instincts I've never been wrong when I thought someone was gay/bi. BUT I wouldn't act on that instinct. If you think a guy could possibly be gay, maybe mention something gay related and see his reaction. Also the other guy might also feel as if they are the only one. Make sure you come across as 'gay friendly' and drop a few comments, guys would be more likely to come out to you if they feel that you will support them. If you're confident maybe drop a few hints about yourself and create openings in conversations where they could come out.
This is probably obvious but in most cases it's best not to just go up to them and ask "Are you gay?" This offends some straight people and if the guy was gay it might scare him off.

[sqishy]

There's no way to tell. The outward appearance (in personality) of a person shows not enough correlation to the inside of the person's mind to tell their sexuality, especially when sexuality would be deep inside, taking if the person hasn't come out and probably doesn't want people to know.
I resolved my sexuality 2 months ago and, even though I dropped subtle indirect hints, nobody in my school suspects anything. Some will not believe me if I come out.
Unless you ask, there is no real way to tell sexuality.

[Thatoneguy3179]

Thank you so much! This helps a lot :)