most important things in raising a child?

[britishboy]

what do you think are the most important things to provide your children

heres mine;
1) money most of us take it for granted but it is very important
2) a good education
3) a stable house, no arguing, only love

obviously these are not always easy to provide but they should be there when deciding to have a child and I also realize unforseen things can go wrong such as bankruptcy or a child coming out gay

im just interested to hear what you think!

[Tarannosaurus]

what do you think are the most important things to provide your children

heres mine;
1) money most of us take it for granted but it is very important
2) a good education
3) a stable house, no arguing, only love

obviously these are not always easy to provide but they should be there when deciding to have a child and I also realize unforseen things can go wrong such as bankruptcy or a child coming out gay

im just interested to hear what you think!

Teaching the child to think for themself, be unique and be open minded and tolerant. Providing a safe and caring environment. Making sure the child recognizes their value and the value of others.
P.S. What possessed you to write a child coming out as gay as an "unforeseen thing that can go wrong" on a forum with such a large lgbt population?

[Mynick]

P.S. What possessed you to write a child coming out as gay as an "unforeseen thing that can go wrong" on a forum with such a large lgbt population?
Probably most parents assume they cildren will be straight.

To me: Money (buy things, family trips, pay for a good education), a good and safe environment where they can grow up. And they most think for them selfs, have their own opinion and dont be afraid of saying it.

[Cygnus]

heres mine;
1) money most of us take it for granted but it is very important
2) a good education
3) a stable house, no arguing, only love


I have to agree, I would add teaching values to that list.

[britishboy]

Teaching the child to think for themself, be unique and be open minded and tolerant. Providing a safe and caring environment. Making sure the child recognizes their value and the value of others.
oh yes forgot, values are important!


P.S. What possessed you to write a child coming out as gay as an "unforeseen thing that can go wrong" on a forum with such a large lgbt population?
it splits families up, ideally everyone would be fine with it(and I think most families are) but you get occasions where the father is anti gay and the mother pro so it splits them up and the whole family could be against it!

I was trying to stress the fact there are variables out if your control

[teen.jpg]

oh yes forgot, values are important!



it splits families up, ideally everyone would be fine with it(and I think most families are) but you get occasions where the father is anti gay and the mother pro so it splits them up and the whole family could be against it!

I was trying to stress the fact there are variables out if your control

I'm pretty sure the unaccepting parent is more at fault then the child coming out... You make it seem like it's for the best if the child never comes out at all.

[britishboy]

I'm pretty sure the unaccepting parent is more at fault then the child coming out... You make it seem like it's for the best if the child never comes out at all.

of course it is, it is the sole responsiblity of patents to control and manage the family

im sorry if thats how it came across

[Walter Powers]

1)Time with their children. Whether it be homework help or fun, this helps develop social skills and also academic development.
2)$$$ to provide for them (food, trips to look forward to, a college fund, an adequate home etc)
3) Discipline and accountability. Teach the value of hard work.
4) A good relationship between the parents; don't make your problems your kids problems if at all possible.

[Harry Smith]

what do you think are the most important things to provide your children

heres mine;
1) money most of us take it for granted but it is very important
2) a good education
3) a stable house, no arguing, only love

obviously these are not always easy to provide but they should be there when deciding to have a child and I also realize unforseen things can go wrong such as bankruptcy or a child coming out gay

im just interested to hear what you think!

A child coming out the closet and being honest to their parents about their sexuality, coming out of the closet should never be described as the same as bankruptcy. Their is nothing wrong with coming out of the closet- that's just plain homophobic.

A child coming out as gay should never be considering a failure

Every household has arguments, if they don't then something is very strange about the parents relationship

[britishboy]

A child coming out the closet and being honest to their parents about their sexuality, coming out of the closet should never be described as the same as bankruptcy. Their is nothing wrong with coming out of the closet- that's just plain homophobic.

A child coming out as gay should never be considering a failure


read my other responses to that



Every household has arguments, if they don't then something is very strange about the parents relationship

you can argue on what house to buy, what holiday to take, what colour a room should be, thats fine but swearing and getting aggressive is not a good aatmosphere for kids

[tovaris]

what do you think are the most important things to provide your children

heres mine;
1) money most of us take it for granted but it is very important
2) a good education
3) a stable house, no arguing, only love

obviously these are not always easy to provide but they should be there when deciding to have a child and I also realize unforseen things can go wrong such as bankruptcy or a child coming out gay

im just interested to hear what you think!

Morals
Public education
3)
welfare state (where even bankrocy isnt dedly)

[Stronk Serb]

Moral values
Spending time developing their social and academic skills
Education
If there are arguments in the family, do not involve the child into them unless it's affecting them a lot. If there is a fight between parents it's not healthy to let the child take sides.

[Harry Smith]

read my other responses to that



you can argue on what house to buy, what holiday to take, what colour a room should be, thats fine but swearing and getting aggressive is not a good aatmosphere for kids

I did, and I thought it was a pretty weak response. For someone who claims to be in favour of LGBT rights it was a very questionable comment to make, and I also think it was deeply offensive.

I think it's easy for us all to sit here and say what it's like to be a parent and how it should be done but it's simply not that easy and straight forward. Not only do you have to manage your own life but you also have to manage a child's, we can sit all here day and say a good parent should do x,y and z but the bottom line is that every child is different, every household is different and every parent is different. There is no universal guide

[Human]

I think the home being stable is one of the most important things

[britishboy]

I did, and I thought it was a pretty weak response. For someone who claims to be in favour of LGBT rights it was a very questionable comment to make, and I also think it was deeply offensive.

I think it's easy for us all to sit here and say what it's like to be a parent and how it should be done but it's simply not that easy and straight forward. Not only do you have to manage your own life but you also have to manage a child's, we can sit all here day and say a good parent should do x,y and z but the bottom line is that every child is different, every household is different and every parent is different. There is no universal guide

gay people do tear families apart harry, my point was is that not everything goes to plan

take Christian families for example, well disciplined, respectful and loving, really the perfect family, add a gay child in the mix it turns into WW3

the point of the discussion is what is most important? what is over rated?

[Harry Smith]

gay people do tear families apart harry, my point was is that not everything goes to plan

take Christian families for example, well disciplined, respectful and loving, really the perfect family, add a gay child in the mix it turns into WW3

the point of the discussion is what is most important? what is over rated?

Gay People do not tear families apart Jack. That's wrong, you should also not compare gay children to bankrupty.

I could name at least about 10 people on this site alone who have came out to their families and no it hasn't caused WW3. I don't give a shit what the dicussion is, your as usual saying something that is 100% bullshit.

Look at Rob Portman- a conservative politician who is strongly religious- his son came out, now he supports gay marriage.

How is a christian family which doesn't support it's child loving- you also can't make the assumption that all religious people are anti- gay.

Also please never again refer to yourself as being pro-LGBT rights again

But please tell a majority LGBT forum how bad gays are

[Walter Powers]

Gay People do not tear families apart Jack. That's wrong, you should also not compare gay children to bankrupty.

I could name at least about 10 people on this site alone who have came out to their families and no it hasn't caused WW3. I don't give a shit what the dicussion is, your as usual saying something that is 100% bullshit.

Look at Rob Portman- a conservative politician who is strongly religious- his son came out, now he supports gay marriage.

How is a christian family which doesn't support it's child loving- you also can't make the assumption that all religious people are anti- gay.

Also please never again refer to yourself as being pro-LGBT rights again

But please tell a majority LGBT forum how bad gays are

MAJORITY? Uh, I'm pretty sure the majority of people on here are straight, however there certainly are more LGBTs on here then the general population.

[Harry Smith]

MAJORITY? Uh, I'm pretty sure the majority of people on here are straight, however there certainly are more LGBTs on here then the general population.

Okay, sorry I haven't checked the official data. Do you agree with Jack that a gay child breaks up a family?

[Walter Powers]

Okay, sorry I haven't checked the official data. Do you agree with Jack that a gay child breaks up a family?

It can. But I don't think it's the kids fault. I mean, the parent doesn't have to agree with it, but that's no reason to treat them badly.

If I thought I was gay and grew up with Christian parent's who strongly didn't agree with it though, I'd do everybody a favor and just wait until I've moved out to break that news.

[Harry Smith]

It can. But I don't think it's the kids fault. I mean, the parent doesn't have to agree with it, but that's no reason to treat them badly.

If I thought I was gay and grew up with Christian parent's who strongly didn't agree with it though, I'd do everybody a favor and just wait until I've moved out to break that news.

I'm not saying that children should come out straight away, and I do agree with you about the christian families I just thought on jack's part it was a generalization and a very gross one to say that 'gays' break up families because that's simply not true

[britishboy]

Gay People do not tear families apart Jack. That's wrong, you should also not compare gay children to bankrupty.


no but the families tear themselves apart over it, most are fine with it, this is soooooo far from my original point its unreal, my point was is that nothing is everyone perfect or ideal!


I could name at least about 10 people on this site alone who have came out to their families and no it hasn't caused WW3. I don't give a shit what the dicussion is, your as usual saying something that is 100% bullshit.

ok as I have stated but you failed to read, most cases are fine, I know my mother is extremely supportive, everyone around me is so pro everything, my gf today actually almost killed one of my best friends for saying my other friend swam gay

Look at Rob Portman- a conservative politician who is strongly religious- his son came out, now he supports gay marriage.

thats a nice story I guess, his son must have been terrified! even though the majority of religions are fine with it, you still get gypsies, Christians and Muslims that cant stand the sight of a homosexual

Also please never again refer to yourself as being pro-LGBT rights again
why? I am, not the chain myself to trees type but if a vote came up, I would be yes, and if someone was disrespecting a LGBT I would give them a mouthful (non violent of course)

But please tell a majority LGBT forum how bad gays are
I never said gays were bad themselves, but bad for families where the equality issue is devided or completely against

[CharlieHorse]

Most important thing in raising a child besides being open and caring?

Don't force a religion on the kid.

But more generally, loving your kid and being honest with them. Don't expect your kid to succeed automatically. Be there for them and let them trust you.

[Walter Powers]

my gf today actually almost killed one of my best friends for saying my other friend swam gay
Uh, WHAT? I think you need a new girlfriend! I hope this is sarcastic...?

[britishboy]

Uh, WHAT? I think you need a new girlfriend! I hope this is sarcastic...?

oh no:P we was all laying friends pool and a few decided to show off who was the fastest (nothing serious just fun) and my friend on the pool side was just having a laugh and said one of the swimming guys was gay, and my gf is so pro rights its unreal, she just made a little thing on saying 'so what if hes gay? and what does a gay guy look like' and he made a stupid comment and they ended in a massive row! really awkward for me because one was my gf the other my best mate!

[Walter Powers]

oh no:P we was all laying friends pool and a few decided to show off who was the fastest (nothing serious just fun) and my friend on the pool side was just having a laugh and said one of the swimming guys was gay, and my gf is so pro rights its unreal, she just made a little thing on saying 'so what if hes gay? and what does a gay guy look like' and he made a stupid comment and they ended in a massive row! really awkward for me because one was my gf the other my best mate!

0: I can see how that would be awkward....

[PinkFloyd]

Ultimately, survival.

[Harry Smith]

no but the families tear themselves apart over it, most are fine with it, this is soooooo far from my original point its unreal, my point was is that nothing is everyone perfect or ideal!


ok as I have stated but you failed to read, most cases are fine, I know my mother is extremely supportive, everyone around me is so pro everything, my gf today actually almost killed one of my best friends for saying my other friend swam gay

thats a nice story I guess, his son must have been terrified! even though the majority of religions are fine with it, you still get gypsies, Christians and Muslims that cant stand the sight of a homosexual

why? I am, not the chain myself to trees type but if a vote came up, I would be yes, and if someone was disrespecting a LGBT I would give them a mouthful (non violent of course)

I never said gays were bad themselves, but bad for families where the equality issue is devided or completely against

The whole gay issue could be any other issue within a household, such as the child marrying someone from a different culture, or not doing well in their studies, or getting in trouble at school. It's not exclusive to a child coming out of the closet

[britishboy]

The whole gay issue could be any other issue within a household, such as the child marrying someone from a different culture, or not doing well in their studies, or getting in trouble at school. It's not exclusive to a child coming out of the closet

I was trying to avoid people moaning saying 'not everyone can have the circumstances I said are needed' and also 'things still go wrong' so I thought I would say I fully recognize that and listed a few scenarios to show that

[Twilly F. Sniper]

1. Putting them in a caring and semi-flexible environment.
2. Teach them love and peace rather than war and hatred. (I know I could sound like a hypocrite here)
3. Don't force things on children. It causes depression, and mental disease.

[LouBerry]

Unconditional love and stability.

[TheDeepestDepths]

It depends on the parents and children, every situation is different and things which work for some families won't work for others. I can just tell you how I will raise my children and adapt these views and values so my husband and I will have the best team.

The most important practical things I will provide for my children are health and education. Health, not just the physical, but the emotional and mental as well. I'd instill the value and importance of exercise and being physically fit. I'd also try and raise my children with the mindset that they are perfect the way they are and hopefully they will not succumb to the depression and dip in self-confidence that occurs in most children when they hit puberty. Such unhappiness in my children would absolutely break my heart.

I would hope that my children's parents (me and the future husband) would have enough money to be comfortable and to provide for all my children's needs such as a healthy diet, things like braces/ doctor's appointments/ etc., the best education possible and enough to be able to pay for their college career. I would want my children to grow up with space and fresh air in the countryside (personal preference).

Next, all the non practical things that I would want them to have would be unconditional love (no issues there from their mother!), stability, routine, hobbies and interests which will encourage them to grow as people, and good social skills.

I'd teach them how to make good decisions, to choose their friends wisely and how to exploit their life to the fullest. I'd teach them how to work hard but to also treat themselves and take time for themselves.

Lastly, I'd want my children to be the best people they can, to treat others with respect and kindness and to be selfless without neglecting their own well being and happiness. I'd want them to be polite and cultured but at the same time with their own identity and sense of self.

[Jess]

money, good education, a house full of love, tolerance and respect of other people of different religions (or lack of), ethnicities, sexual orientation etc

oh and no forcing religion on the child(ren)

[Walter Powers]

money, good education, a house full of love, tolerance and respect of other people of different religions (or lack of), ethnicities, sexual orientation etc

oh and no forcing religion on the child(ren)

So would you be okay with your kid attending church with a friend if they wanted to? Or maybe eventually become a Christian, if that's what they want? I'm curious.

[Walter Powers]

Stupid slow connection. See above.