Is love and sex really so black-and-white?

[sqishy]

It is, of course, obvious to everyone that being straight means you only get attracted to/fall in love with the opposite gender. The same going for being gay, except that it's the same gender.

But how do you define sexual acts/encounters? What defines a sexual encounter? Is it actual sex, or kissing, or just being attracted to someone else? Can it be said that when someone is gay, they only fall in love with the same gender? Surely it only applies sexually. What happens if the person loves someone's personality, but not their body? Can sex apply only physically and love mentally, or not? Is love the same as sex and sexuality?

There is a kind of love called Platonic love (named after the philosopher Plato), where you love someone, but in a non-sexual way. I originally thought that it would apply when you would only love a person's personality, but I now think that it's not so black-and-white. So where does platonic love begin and end? Are sexual acts limited to the body, or is it also with the mind?

If I have homosexual experiences 99 times and 1 heterosexual experience, does that make me gay, for the simplicity of rounding-up and saying that that 1 opposite-sex experience is not comparable to the 99 same-sex ones?

If I am gay and experience platonic love with a girl, what does that make my orientation? Am I still gay, or am I different?

People often say that they love this film or music track. Of course we know they really like it (and not sexually), but surely it still counts as love. Is love an intense liking of something, or does it qualify as love when sexual emotions/desires come into play?

I think people are misinterpreting that love and sex are different aspects of the same thing. But I think it's more of a Venn diagram: Love and sexuality can exist together, but you can find situations where only one of them is present. And in a Venn diagram, you see the edges of the circle. So where do these circles of love and sex begin/end? Or do they have a clear boundary? Is my idea of a Venn diagram wrong?

My parents love me in a different way than I loved the person I initially had a crush on. It's still love, right? Or am I wrong?

Another question is what the exact definition of sexuality is, if there is one. If there isn't, how many meanings can you have? Where do sex and love begin and end? Could they be more complex and diverse in form than we think and possibly imagine? Could we be creating more forms never seen before? What makes love and sexuality happen together?

I heard a friend quote some philosopher, the quote being something like "All forms of love [and sex] are natural; we only engage with the opposite gender to create a new generation". I'm not saying the quote is correct, but it shows that people have realised that we have overlooked love and sexuality as something very simple. Perhaps they were right, and we are very wrong. Or maybe I am overcomplicating things. Or am I?

Maybe I am wrong with thinking that most people don't see this, but I've never heard someone talk about it, until I did to my friend.

[britishboy]

everyone likes different things, wether straight or gay, some like blonde women, some like skinny or busty women, some like their men tall othets short etc etc

[Twilly F. Sniper]

Eeyup. Not much color. There maybe LGBT, but love and sex are quite plain topics.

[Lovelife090994]

Great look on it.

[teen.jpg]

It is, of course, obvious to everyone that being straight means you only get attracted to/fall in love with the opposite gender. The same going for being gay, except that it's the same gender.

You sure about that?

[Syvelocin]

It is, of course, obvious to everyone that being straight means you only get attracted to/fall in love with the opposite gender. The same going for being gay, except that it's the same gender.
Nope, not obvious to me. I think 100% straight people are just people who won't let themselves feel something for the same gender. That, or they have yet to meet someone of the same gender they could fall in love with. Same goes with being gay, imo. I think there's always an exception if we are open to exploring it. Some people have fewer exceptions than others. But black and white are not colours in the spectrum of life. The range is something more like charcoal to off-white.
But how do you define sexual acts/encounters? What defines a sexual encounter? Is it actual sex, or kissing, or just being attracted to someone else?
Sexual encounters, I think, can only be labelled by the participating parties. Anything can be intimate, and the most intimate of acts can be impersonal.
What happens if the person loves someone's personality, but not their body? Can sex apply only physically and love mentally, or not? Is love the same as sex and sexuality?
I think the two dominate over certain regions, but the lines blur. Sex is physical and love is mental, but sex can produce love or love-like feelings especially for the females whose bodies release different chemicals in different amounts than the chemicals released when men orgasm. Then love releases chemicals that affect the physical body. Love isn't the same as sex.
If I have homosexual experiences 99 times and 1 heterosexual experience, does that make me gay, for the simplicity of rounding-up and saying that that 1 opposite-sex experience is not comparable to the 99 same-sex ones?
Definitely not. I've had more heterosexual experiences than homosexual experiences, but I'm for all intents and purposes gay. It depends on the experience the person had when in that situation. If you mean you were enjoying being intimate with the same gender 99% of the time and 1% of the time you liked the opposite gender, it gets into my speech about "the utilization of labels." But like I am, you'd probably be for all intents and purposes gay.
If I am gay and experience platonic love with a girl, what does that make my orientation? Am I still gay, or am I different?
Again, depends on your label. If this is one girl, would you call yourself biromantic? Probably not. If this girl is one of many, biromantic homosexual is a fitting label.
People often say that they love this film or music track. Of course we know they really like it (and not sexually), but surely it still counts as love. Is love an intense liking of something, or does it qualify as love when sexual emotions/desires come into play?
Love and sex are capable of blurring, like I said, but love definitely =/= sex. I think love is a strong word for things we really really like, but it became the mainstream step after like. I don't think we truly "love" a movie or whatever. It's just a more intense feeling of liking. I'm more prone to say "adore" is a better word.

I agree with the Venn diagram, but the circles would have extremely wavy lines lol.
My parents love me in a different way than I loved the person I initially had a crush on. It's still love, right? Or am I wrong?
It's still love. Love isn't just chemicals, but I am prone to say real love exists when your body is releasing chemicals to attach yourself to that person. In the case of romance, you want monogamy, in the case of the child, you want to nuture him/her and protect her with your life.
I heard a friend quote some philosopher, the quote being something like "All forms of love [and sex] are natural; we only engage with the opposite gender to create a new generation". I'm not saying the quote is correct, but it shows that people have realised that we have overlooked love and sexuality as something very simple. Perhaps they were right, and we are very wrong. Or maybe I am overcomplicating things. Or am I?
They're both extremely simple and extremely complicated. In the ways we see them complicated, they are actually really simple. In the ways we see them simple, they are actually really complicated.

[Lovelife090994]

Nope, not obvious to me. I think 100% straight people are just people who won't let themselves feel something for the same gender. That, or they have yet to meet someone of the same gender they could fall in love with. Same goes with being gay, imo. I think there's always an exception if we are open to exploring it. Some people have fewer exceptions than others. But black and white are not colours in the spectrum of life. The range is something more like charcoal to off-white.

Sexual encounters, I think, can only be labelled by the participating parties. Anything can be intimate, and the most intimate of acts can be impersonal.

I think the two dominate over certain regions, but the lines blur. Sex is physical and love is mental, but sex can produce love or love-like feelings especially for the females whose bodies release different chemicals in different amounts than the chemicals released when men orgasm. Then love releases chemicals that affect the physical body. Love isn't the same as sex.

Definitely not. I've had more heterosexual experiences than homosexual experiences, but I'm for all intents and purposes gay. It depends on the experience the person had when in that situation. If you mean you were enjoying being intimate with the same gender 99% of the time and 1% of the time you liked the opposite gender, it gets into my speech about "the utilization of labels." But like I am, you'd probably be for all intents and purposes gay.

Again, depends on your label. If this is one girl, would you call yourself biromantic? Probably not. If this girl is one of many, biromantic homosexual is a fitting label.

Love and sex are capable of blurring, like I said, but love definitely =/= sex. I think love is a strong word for things we really really like, but it became the mainstream step after like. I don't think we truly "love" a movie or whatever. It's just a more intense feeling of liking. I'm more prone to say "adore" is a better word.

I agree with the Venn diagram, but the circles would have extremely wavy lines lol.

It's still love. Love isn't just chemicals, but I am prone to say real love exists when your body is releasing chemicals to attach yourself to that person. In the case of romance, you want monogamy, in the case of the child, you want to nuture him/her and protect her with your life.

They're both extremely simple and extremely complicated. In the ways we see them complicated, they are actually really simple. In the ways we see them simple, they are. actually really complicated.


I love your looks on things and on this, so many things are black and white. I wonder how many people would be straight if we weren't taught to be. Are straight people only able to love someone of the opposite sex? That kind of thing I wonder.

[britishboy]

I love your looks on things and on this, so many things are black and white. I wonder how many people would be straight if we weren't taught to be. Are straight people only able to love someone of the opposite sex? That kind of thing I wonder.

what do you mean? you can't be tought in or out of a sexuality? I'm straight, I love my family and my friends but I only want to go out with females, so only sexually attracted to females

[Lovelife090994]

what do you mean? you can't be tought in or out of a sexuality? I'm straight, I love my family and my friends but I only want to go out with females, so only sexually attracted to females

No, not that. Don't tell me you don't see it? In our society we rear children into thinking liking someone of the same sex is either wrong or not to be done and talk about their future wives and husbands. In this world things are heterosexually oriented, if you are different you have discovered that you are not like most of society.

[Harry Smith]

everyone likes different things, wether straight or gay, some like blonde women, some like skinny or busty women, some like their men tall othets short etc etc

that's probably the most generalized thing I've ever seen, I hope you know that love does extend beyond a person's physical appearance and it's not some sort of exclusive list. You also kind skipped over the main point made by the OP and just produced something of no relevance

[britishboy]

No, not that. Don't tell me you don't see it? In our society we rear children into thinking liking someone of the same sex is either wrong or not to be done and talk about their future wives and husbands. In this world things are heterosexually oriented, if you are different you have discovered that you are not like most of society.

I don't think we teach it to be wrong but definitely that man should love women etc, I think it extends as well, a women should wear a dress, while this is because most women do, it's not great for those that font

[sqishy]

Nope, not obvious to me. I think 100% straight people are just people who won't let themselves feel something for the same gender. That, or they have yet to meet someone of the same gender they could fall in love with. Same goes with being gay, imo. I think there's always an exception if we are open to exploring it. Some people have fewer exceptions than others. But black and white are not colours in the spectrum of life. The range is something more like charcoal to off-white.

Sexual encounters, I think, can only be labelled by the participating parties. Anything can be intimate, and the most intimate of acts can be impersonal.

I think the two dominate over certain regions, but the lines blur. Sex is physical and love is mental, but sex can produce love or love-like feelings especially for the females whose bodies release different chemicals in different amounts than the chemicals released when men orgasm. Then love releases chemicals that affect the physical body. Love isn't the same as sex.

Definitely not. I've had more heterosexual experiences than homosexual experiences, but I'm for all intents and purposes gay. It depends on the experience the person had when in that situation. If you mean you were enjoying being intimate with the same gender 99% of the time and 1% of the time you liked the opposite gender, it gets into my speech about "the utilization of labels." But like I am, you'd probably be for all intents and purposes gay.

Again, depends on your label. If this is one girl, would you call yourself biromantic? Probably not. If this girl is one of many, biromantic homosexual is a fitting label.

Love and sex are capable of blurring, like I said, but love definitely =/= sex. I think love is a strong word for things we really really like, but it became the mainstream step after like. I don't think we truly "love" a movie or whatever. It's just a more intense feeling of liking. I'm more prone to say "adore" is a better word.

I agree with the Venn diagram, but the circles would have extremely wavy lines lol.

It's still love. Love isn't just chemicals, but I am prone to say real love exists when your body is releasing chemicals to attach yourself to that person. In the case of romance, you want monogamy, in the case of the child, you want to nuture him/her and protect her with your life.

They're both extremely simple and extremely complicated. In the ways we see them complicated, they are actually really simple. In the ways we see them simple, they are actually really complicated.

I made this post to give a sort of multi-perspective look on this with loads of questions, going with the "everything is permitted" viewpoint. I'm not giving an opinion, just putting the questions out there, wanting to see how people would interpret this with their opinions. You have given an awesomely long interpretation, which I salute.

:D

[Syvelocin]

I made this post to give a sort of multi-perspective look on this with loads of questions, going with the "everything is permitted" viewpoint. I'm not giving an opinion, just putting the questions out there, wanting to see how people would interpret this with their opinions. You have given an awesomely long interpretation, which I salute.

:D

And they were actually quite awesome ideas to put out there, some of which I've been screaming (well, maybe more like suggesting to) the world for a bit now. I am a novel-writer, but I don't write novels for each post. The questions you threw out there were stimulating to me. That and it was late at night, college has started for me, and I've gotten maximum fifteen hours of sleep in the last three days haha. I can be a bit more... uhm. Prone to abstract rambling when I'm sleep-deprived.

[Get Outta Compton]

Love and sex are whatever you want them to be.

[AbyssalLight7]

I think sexuality and love are different, I think love is emotional and sexuality is about, well the root of the word, sex. You can love someone emotionally even if they don't fit your sexuality. Sexuality isn't effected by what you feel emotionally, just what you want in a physical relationship, sex or not.