Camazotz
August 26th, 2013, 07:02 PM
Hello VT,
I’d like to share a story with you that, perhaps, some of you can relate with, and hopefully you leave here with a feeling of confidence and understanding.
First you should know about me: I grew up in a Roman Catholic household- my mom’s parents were from Italy and my dad’s parents were from the Philippines (if you didn’t know, those countries are among the most Catholic countries in the world). I went to mass practically every Sunday of my childhood, I went through CCD (basically a Sunday school to learn about God and the Church), and I grew up in a town that was primarily Christian.
Around 8th grade (14 years old), I started learning about atheism from friends and the internet. I began questioning what I was taught and what my beliefs were. I was shaky though, as most agnostics/atheists are when they first start questioning their faith. If you’ve never been through this experience, just know that it’s a scary thought that things that you’ve been taught by your parents and Church might be lies (such as an afterlife). I learned a lot about myself during this time trying to come to terms with what I did/didn’t believe in. But I wasn’t comfortable with telling anyone yet because I was afraid of how people would react to the news.
Over the next several months, I conferred with my atheist friends to see how they dealt with this period of their life- were they bullied? How did their parents react? Did they lose any friends? How were they treated? Ultimately, I decided to not to tell my family- not yet, at least. I didn’t think they were ready to hear that kind of news. I read stories of kids that were practically disowned by their parents. I wasn’t ready for that kind of risk.
Fast-forward several months: it was time for me to sign up for Confirmation, the final rite in the Catholic religion to becoming “a full-fledged Catholic.” Most of my friends were going through it, adults that I grew up with were in charge of the program, and it seemed like a rite of passage. I was required to write an essay on why I wanted to continue with my Catholic education and why I wanted continue with my future as a part of the Catholic Church. I pondered the question for weeks, and the pressure to finish by the deadline was on. I began writing it but it just didn't feel right. I was lying to the church, my parents, and most importantly, to myself.
You know, Matt, I read everything you post and am consistently impressed and amazed at how thoughtful, mature and introspective you are, and I'm not just blowing smoke here at you.
Religion aside, whatever your parents have done with you has resulted in a truly exceptional person. Even though they might be surprised or disappointed by your choice, somehow I think they will also tolerate your decision for these reasons.
Good luck, I suspect it will go better than you think.
Sam
I typed an essay (first draft found here (”http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=50180”)) of why I was an atheist and gave it to my parents. With the support of my friends (including IAmSam from VT), I gathered the courage to give them the essay. They talked it over the next couple of days and then we all talked together. They tried to understand my stance, and although they didn’t agree with me, they told me they would always love and support me, no matter what. However, they wanted me to try and talk with people at the Church to try to convince me to try going through the Confirmation process; it turned out to be a failure (I was already an atheist), so we decided to leave it alone, and all has been well since.
Fin.
______________________________________________________________________
Now I’d like to give some advice on dealing with atheism.
If you’re an atheist… Know that there are plenty of people out there just like you.
If you ever feel alone or isolated, don’t hesitate to form bonds with other atheists around the world. According to recent polls (http://atheism.about.com/od/atheistbigotryprejudice/a/AtheitsHated.htm), atheists are the least trusted minority in America. There is a stigma that atheists are stuck-up, arrogant “know-it-alls”. (The stereotypes come from angsty teenagers that don’t know how to behave in public). Just treat everyone with respect, be careful what you say, and look up more tips (”http://www.weareatheism.com/resources/10-5-tips-for-coming-out/”) on how to act.
If you’re thinking about coming out… Do what feels best for you.
Some people are in a comfortable environment where they can feel free to share themselves. Other people don’t feel safe telling people close to them that they’re atheist, so don’t feel pressured that you have to tell someone. Your situation might be similar to gays coming out, so you might get better advice for “coming out” tips from them.
If you have a friend that is a(n) (closet) atheist… Be supportive of you friend.
Most people don’t want to be judged for what they do/don’t believe in. Respect their wishes of how they want to share themselves; not all atheists want to go public with their non-beliefs. As long as you’re respectful and compassionate, you’re doing a great thing for a friend.
If you want to learn more about atheism… (Politely) ask your atheist friends about their own non-beliefs.
Not all atheists are the same. There are different “types” of atheists, and each individual has their own perspective on life and religion, so the best thing to do is find out from people you know. But you can always find out more on the internet: Google always has the answer.
_________________________________________________________________
Please feel free to share your own stories and advice to other Atheists, people trying to understand Atheism, and everyone else.
*Note: This is not a debate*
I’d like to share a story with you that, perhaps, some of you can relate with, and hopefully you leave here with a feeling of confidence and understanding.
First you should know about me: I grew up in a Roman Catholic household- my mom’s parents were from Italy and my dad’s parents were from the Philippines (if you didn’t know, those countries are among the most Catholic countries in the world). I went to mass practically every Sunday of my childhood, I went through CCD (basically a Sunday school to learn about God and the Church), and I grew up in a town that was primarily Christian.
Around 8th grade (14 years old), I started learning about atheism from friends and the internet. I began questioning what I was taught and what my beliefs were. I was shaky though, as most agnostics/atheists are when they first start questioning their faith. If you’ve never been through this experience, just know that it’s a scary thought that things that you’ve been taught by your parents and Church might be lies (such as an afterlife). I learned a lot about myself during this time trying to come to terms with what I did/didn’t believe in. But I wasn’t comfortable with telling anyone yet because I was afraid of how people would react to the news.
Over the next several months, I conferred with my atheist friends to see how they dealt with this period of their life- were they bullied? How did their parents react? Did they lose any friends? How were they treated? Ultimately, I decided to not to tell my family- not yet, at least. I didn’t think they were ready to hear that kind of news. I read stories of kids that were practically disowned by their parents. I wasn’t ready for that kind of risk.
Fast-forward several months: it was time for me to sign up for Confirmation, the final rite in the Catholic religion to becoming “a full-fledged Catholic.” Most of my friends were going through it, adults that I grew up with were in charge of the program, and it seemed like a rite of passage. I was required to write an essay on why I wanted to continue with my Catholic education and why I wanted continue with my future as a part of the Catholic Church. I pondered the question for weeks, and the pressure to finish by the deadline was on. I began writing it but it just didn't feel right. I was lying to the church, my parents, and most importantly, to myself.
You know, Matt, I read everything you post and am consistently impressed and amazed at how thoughtful, mature and introspective you are, and I'm not just blowing smoke here at you.
Religion aside, whatever your parents have done with you has resulted in a truly exceptional person. Even though they might be surprised or disappointed by your choice, somehow I think they will also tolerate your decision for these reasons.
Good luck, I suspect it will go better than you think.
Sam
I typed an essay (first draft found here (”http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=50180”)) of why I was an atheist and gave it to my parents. With the support of my friends (including IAmSam from VT), I gathered the courage to give them the essay. They talked it over the next couple of days and then we all talked together. They tried to understand my stance, and although they didn’t agree with me, they told me they would always love and support me, no matter what. However, they wanted me to try and talk with people at the Church to try to convince me to try going through the Confirmation process; it turned out to be a failure (I was already an atheist), so we decided to leave it alone, and all has been well since.
Fin.
______________________________________________________________________
Now I’d like to give some advice on dealing with atheism.
If you’re an atheist… Know that there are plenty of people out there just like you.
If you ever feel alone or isolated, don’t hesitate to form bonds with other atheists around the world. According to recent polls (http://atheism.about.com/od/atheistbigotryprejudice/a/AtheitsHated.htm), atheists are the least trusted minority in America. There is a stigma that atheists are stuck-up, arrogant “know-it-alls”. (The stereotypes come from angsty teenagers that don’t know how to behave in public). Just treat everyone with respect, be careful what you say, and look up more tips (”http://www.weareatheism.com/resources/10-5-tips-for-coming-out/”) on how to act.
If you’re thinking about coming out… Do what feels best for you.
Some people are in a comfortable environment where they can feel free to share themselves. Other people don’t feel safe telling people close to them that they’re atheist, so don’t feel pressured that you have to tell someone. Your situation might be similar to gays coming out, so you might get better advice for “coming out” tips from them.
If you have a friend that is a(n) (closet) atheist… Be supportive of you friend.
Most people don’t want to be judged for what they do/don’t believe in. Respect their wishes of how they want to share themselves; not all atheists want to go public with their non-beliefs. As long as you’re respectful and compassionate, you’re doing a great thing for a friend.
If you want to learn more about atheism… (Politely) ask your atheist friends about their own non-beliefs.
Not all atheists are the same. There are different “types” of atheists, and each individual has their own perspective on life and religion, so the best thing to do is find out from people you know. But you can always find out more on the internet: Google always has the answer.
_________________________________________________________________
Please feel free to share your own stories and advice to other Atheists, people trying to understand Atheism, and everyone else.
*Note: This is not a debate*