Finding out I'm an athiest

[MikeyB]

Hello all,

So an interesting thing just happened. I found out that my mum found out I'm an atheist. hmmmm. Now before any possible religious person hops out at this, I am not posting to challenge just advice.

The story:

So my dad comes into the room little bit weirdly (he already knew I was an atheist for about a year now) and says "mum knows you're an atheist now".

He says. "We were going to go to church and I didn't know the hours. So I call the church to find out the hours" my mum then says "you do know that Michael thinks he's an atheist right?" My dad then hesitated and proceeded to come to my room and tell which leaves me where I am in my room now, almost in shock.

I think she found out while I was in the UK on holiday, she might have gone in my room and found some books or something, idk.


But anything to calm my nerves and any suggestions to solve possible conflict would be greatly appreciated.

Has anyone ever had this happen? Please share on how things went down if possible.

Cheers

[SawyerSauce]

I have never told my parent's I'm atheist. I assume they know. If they didn't, then they found out last week when I ordered my Atheist Symbol shirt :)

To deal with your mother, try to ignore her. When she starts religious conflicts, detach yourself from the situation. It will avoid her getting angry or offended and you getting in trouble for being intelligent. She won't like being ignored so avoiding is the best way.

If your family is close and you talk to each other, I'm not sure how to help. I don't talk to my family but maybe once a day for ten seconds. If your mother is a rational type of person you could try to explain why you chose to become atheist.

Good luck :) VM me if you want to talk.

[Altiier]

That's a tough one... Luckily my parents don't really care what my religious views are(Atheist). My grandmother on the other hand found out from my Aunt when she say me change my info on facebook, my grandmother being the traditional woman she is slapped me and yelled "DONT TURN YOUR BACK ON GOD AND YOUR SAVIOR" and continued to take me to church to get "fixed". Afterwards I avoided the subject like one of the ten plagues (BWAHAHAHA I kid, I kid) But I agree with Sara, don't ignore, just avoid. Hope that helps :D

[conniption]

I told my mom when we were having a discussion about miracles and thing of the sort and she didn't seem to mind too much. There are still times when she wants me to go to church, but I just smile and decline.

[uglyinsideandout]

I'm having a hard time understanding what the problem is. Is she going to kick you out or something?

[Camazotz]

Other than your nerves, this doesn't sound like it's a pressing issue. It doesn't sound like your mom is furious or making threats and it might not end up being a big problem. I guess my advice is to prepare yourself for an eventual "talk" and learn how to talk about it (if you say certain trigger words or talk in a "know-it-all" manner, it'll be a huge turn off and make the conversation much more tense).

I came out to my parents about being an atheist- they made it real easy for me. They just kind of asked why, told me they would always love me, and that was the end of that. Dealing with my other family/friends was somewhat of a different story, so if you have any specific questions, feel free to ask :) But as of right now, just prepare what you want to say and how you want to say it.

[Jess]

It doesn't seem like she's really mad about it...I would just say just be prepared if she wants to give you a talk or something

[sqishy]

If you need to vent some of your annoyance at this, the best thing is to tell both your parents that your religious views and opinions are your and yours only, and that they can't force you to go one way or the other. You don't have to say it in a certain tone (probably a good idea not to), just give them the idea.

I didn't know there was a symbol for atheism. Something new every day.

[Marek1]

Nobody can make their children or parents change their religious thoughts. I'm an atheist as my parents and atheism the only rational way to think. But if someone wants to believe in supernatural things it's their business.

[The Trendy Wolf]

Nobody can make their children or parents change their religious thoughts. I'm an atheist as my parents and atheism the only rational way to think. But if someone wants to believe in supernatural things it's their business.

I just feel like clarifying something. My family is Protestant but don't express it much. We barely go to church (only on Easter and Christmas Eve) and I'm an atheist. BUT! I would like to say that I do like to believe in a god because it gives me someone to talk to and it makes me feel like I'm protected and that there is someone watching over me even though there really isn't.

[darthearth]

Nobody can make their children or parents change their religious thoughts. I'm an atheist as my parents and atheism the only rational way to think. But if someone wants to believe in supernatural things it's their business.

Atheism is not the only rational way to think, I am a theist and it's quite rational and based in reason. Only "weak" atheism a.k.a. agnosticism can be considered rational in my view. Theism can rationally be indicated through first cause and p-consciousness. Not irrational at all.

And for the OP, I would just simply explain why you are an atheist. It should lead to a good healthy discussion, but if they are unreasonable what else can you do? At least you know you did the best you could.

[Katiya]

Welcome to the power of reason and logic! I wouldn't sweat it. But if they go nuts just pretend. Keep your views. No one has the right to change your views. :)

@darthearth, Atheism is actually a lot more rational than classic theisum if you lok at theisum literally. There are so many passages bible that are just irrational. Like how children who disobey their parents should be stoned to death. That's a classic.

Now I'm not saying everyone who is religious is irrational, but many are. Athists use reason and logic to explain events rather than "behold gods work" like many theists. Plenty of theistic people believe in a god or afterlife or heaven of sorts, but they aren't irrational. The ones I call irrational are these nutbags that go around saying how ritious they are and then they turn around and do an awful thing to someone and its "OK BC god told them to do it". Or they go around preaching scripture after scripture all day. I live near a fair crowd of those and they are far from rational. I haven't met any irrational atheists but in sure some do exist. There are just less atheists so I haven't met as many as I have theists.

[Lovelife090994]

Welcome to the power of reason and logic! I wouldn't sweat it. But if they go nuts just pretend. Keep your views. No one has the right to change your views. :)

@darthearth, Atheism is actually a lot more rational than classic theisum if you lok at theisum literally. There are so many passages bible that are just irrational. Like how children who disobey their parents should be stoned to death. That's a classic.

Now I'm not saying everyone who is religious is irrational, but many are. Athists use reason and logic to explain events rather than "behold gods work" like many theists. Plenty of theistic people believe in a god or afterlife or heaven of sorts, but they aren't irrational. The ones I call irrational are these nutbags that go around saying how ritious they are and then they turn around and do an awful thing to someone and its "OK BC god told them to do it". Or they go around preaching scripture after scripture all day. I live near a fair crowd of those and they are far from rational. I haven't met any irrational atheists but in sure some do exist. There are just less atheists so I haven't met as many as I have theists.


No one knows everything and Atheism is still a belief system, so it too can be argued as irrational. Is it more rational than my beliefs? I would say no because both of our beliefs our rational to us. What is irrational is to argue over them. To the original commentor I'm sure your family means well, I am a Christian but not an overly religious one and my family has trouble accepting that. Never change who you are unless you want to. Believe in something because you want to, and never sell yourself to others or society. In the end, you hold the cards to your own life, but the trick is how to deal them.

[Katiya]

I just feel like clarifying something. My family is Protestant but don't express it much. We barely go to church (only on Easter and Christmas Eve) and I'm an atheist. BUT! I would like to say that I do like to believe in a god because it gives me someone to talk to and it makes me feel like I'm protected and that there is someone watching over me even though there really isn't.

Most people that call them selves religious are just like you. That's why they believe it. And its fine with me. :D

The ones that concern me are those that try to force their beliefs upon others. And take away the rights of a woman to chose not to be forced to have a baby. Or even worse that we can not have birthcontrol in the first place. Now thats just nuts! I believe it is every woman's personal choice and I would never force my view on anyone else. I'll advocate my view but I wouldn't force anyone to have an abortion. But I won't let any one force me to have a baby just because they think its right.

That's all I have to say about religion. I'm atheist, and I don't care what others do as long as they aren't enforcing not on me or anyone else. Voicing your beliefs is fine but forcing is wrong.

No one knows everything and Atheism is still a belief system, so it too can be argued as irrational. Is it more rational than my beliefs? I would say no because both of our beliefs our rational to us. What is irrational is to argue over them. To the original commentor I'm sure your family means well, I am a Christian but not an overly religious one and my family has trouble accepting that. Never change who you are unless you want to. Believe in something because you want to, and never sell yourself to others or society. In the end, you hold the cards to your own life, but the trick is how to deal them.

Atheisum is a lack of belief. Like Asexual. A lack of sexual attraction. Its a lack of belief.

And no I'm not trying to insult you but it is a bit hypocritical for you to be angry at me for saying something about your rational when you just said atheisum was the most irrational.

Any how its not worth an argument. I was just pointing out my view just like you. No hard feelings from me. ;)

Edit sorry your not the poster I originally quoted, on my phone and didn't notice. I thought your were the op replying. So no you didn't say what I said you did lol it was someone else never mind.

Please avoid double posting~The Last of Us/Derri

[Luminous]

I have also had a similar experience. I never believed in a god at all. Now, my parents were deeply religious until I was 12 years old - I had to wear long skirts and long sleeved shirts every day, I couldn't eat meat and dairy within 6 hours of each other, not allowed to go anywhere on Saturday unless I could walk there and no electronics or even turning on or off the lights. My mother was trying to get me to write a nice speech about the Torah portion from the week of my bat mitzvah to present but I did not want to do it, my mom and dad talked to me individually and separately to try and convince me to do it but I wouldn't budge. Finally they forced me to tell them why I wouldn't do it and I told them I don't believe in god. I was really scared of their reaction. My dad was extremely upset but he's the kind of guy that is angry inside and holds a grudge for a long time. My mom was confused but okay. After a long time up to this point, we can wear basically whatever, being modest to some point of course, eat what we want, go places on Saturday and use electronics and stuff, my dad is the only one that keeps any of the 'rules'. I am so glad I told them then, I imagine my life would be a lot different now if they still didn't know I don't believe, I might still be wearing skirts and not allowed to act (A big part of it was the religion. When religion interferes with your life, that's when it's just too much).

[Lovelife090994]

Atheisum is a lack of belief. Like Asexual. A lack of sexual attraction. Its a lack of belief.

And no I'm not trying to insult you but it is a bit hypocritical for you to be angry at me for saying something about your rational when you just said atheisum was the most irrational.

Any how its not worth an argument. I was just pointing out my view just like you. No hard feelings from me. ;)

Edit sorry your not the poster I originally quoted, on my phone and didn't notice. I thought your were the op replying. So no you didn't say what I said you did lol it was someone else never mind.

I am not angry my dear. If you reread my comment I did not say my beliefs or yours are more rational or irrational than one another.
Atheism is still a belief system, a lack of belief to gods but still a belief not everyone shares.

[darthearth]

@darthearth, Atheism is actually a lot more rational than classic theisum if you lok at theisum literally. There are so many passages bible that are just irrational. Like how children who disobey their parents should be stoned to death. That's a classic.

Now I'm not saying everyone who is religious is irrational, but many are. Athists use reason and logic to explain events rather than "behold gods work" like many theists. Plenty of theistic people believe in a god or afterlife or heaven of sorts, but they aren't irrational. The ones I call irrational are these nutbags that go around saying how ritious they are and then they turn around and do an awful thing to someone and its "OK BC god told them to do it". Or they go around preaching scripture after scripture all day. I live near a fair crowd of those and they are far from rational. I haven't met any irrational atheists but in sure some do exist. There are just less atheists so I haven't met as many as I have theists.

Not to intrude on a thread because this is off topic (we are not in Ramblings of the Wise), but i want to respond to say that I don't believe the Bible should be even mentioned in a discussion between general theism and atheism. They are completely different topics. I am a theist based on rational reason and free thought that has nothing to do with any religious text or preconceived beliefs. But really, this line can't really be continued here, it's not part of the original post. Just wanted to mention.

[Katiya]

I am not angry my dear. If you reread my comment I did not say my beliefs or yours are more rational or irrational than one another.
Atheism is still a belief system, a lack of belief to gods but still a belief not everyone shares.

A lack of belief is just that. Not a belief. Like asexual. You would not call an asexual a sexual person. All religion aside. I'm just talking about the meaning of the word. If you do not believe in something you do not believe, there for it isn't a belief. You could say it is an association. Association could be for Muslim, Christan, Jewish, atheist ext... And not everyone shares the same religious asociation. I would certainly call it a religious association, just like asexual is an asociation pertaining to sexuality or the lack of. I think that is what you mean. We could of course philosophize upon this all day, but the definition of A anything is a lack of. Just look it up in the dictionary. Asexual, Atheist, anything A. Just strict definition of words. It is a lack of. So there for we can't call it a belief sense they do not believe.


I edited my post after I realized you were not the op I was referring to. I didn't see because Iwas on my phone. That probably did not show in the quote sent to you.

[Lovelife090994]

A lack of belief is just that. Not a belief. Like asexual. You would not call an asexual a sexual person. All religion aside. I'm just talking about the meaning of the word. If you do not believe in something you do not believe, there for it isn't a belief. You could say it is an association. Association could be for Muslim, Christan, Jewish, atheist ext... And not everyone shares the same religious asociation. I would certainly call it a religious association, just like asexual is an asociation pertaining to sexuality or the lack of. I think that is what you mean. We could of course philosophize upon this all day, but the definition of A anything is a lack of. Just look it up in the dictionary. Asexual, Atheist, anything A. Just strict definition of words. It is a lack of. So there for we can't call it a belief sense they do not believe.


I edited my post after I realized you were not the op I was referring to. I didn't see because Iwas on my phone. That probably did not show in the quote sent to you.

It is fine. I see your logic and it is quite sound, I just used a different diction that must not have been efficacious or intelligible enough, please forgive my error. Good Night by the way!

[The Trendy Wolf]

Most people that call them selves religious are just like you. That's why they believe it. And its fine with me. :D

The ones that concern me are those that try to force their beliefs upon others. And take away the rights of a woman to chose not to be forced to have a baby. Or even worse that we can not have birthcontrol in the first place. Now thats just nuts! I believe it is every woman's personal choice and I would never force my view on anyone else. I'll advocate my view but I wouldn't force anyone to have an abortion. But I won't let any one force me to have a baby just because they think its right.

That's all I have to say about religion. I'm atheist, and I don't care what others do as long as they aren't enforcing not on me or anyone else. Voicing your beliefs is fine but forcing is wrong.

Atheisum is a lack of belief. Like Asexual. A lack of sexual attraction. Its a lack of belief.

And no I'm not trying to insult you but it is a bit hypocritical for you to be angry at me for saying something about your rational when you just said atheisum was the most irrational.

Any how its not worth an argument. I was just pointing out my view just like you. No hard feelings from me. ;)

Edit sorry your not the poster I originally quoted, on my phone and didn't notice. I thought your were the op replying. So no you didn't say what I said you did lol it was someone else never mind.

Please avoid double posting~The Last of Us/Derri

Religion, in and of itself, is a philosophy.

It is an explanation of life and what goes on around us. Religion is to me, however, such a medieval and renaissance way of thinking. Back then, people were desperate for answers about life to get rid of their confusion.

Now that we know so much more and have decent explanations about our existence, and it is still so popular today, it is clear that people in that era were so dependent on religion.

However, despite that I am not religious myself, I don't believe that religion serves no purpose in today's society. In most instances, it's purpose it to guide us in the right direction in life, and have us become successful.

The problem with this is at some people don't seem to understand that religion is also a responsibility. People often try too hard to apply the writings of their religion (and I don't mean any specific religion) to today's society.

To those people and everyone I say,
"Realize that this sacred text was comprised thousands of years ago, and things have changed. Instead of focusing on these old and outdated teachings, try to create your own explanation of what YOU truly think."

[Greg1994]

I don't know if you're parents are super religious, but I know my parents aren't very religious. I don't consider myself an atheist, I prefer the term "agnostic theist", but I still just identify myself as a Catholic. My parents know I don't have much faith and they're okay with it. I wouldn't wait for your mom to come talk to you about it, I would go sit her down and talk to her about it. I know she'll understand!

[AlexanderTheGreat]

I don't think it should be a bad that they found out, (but I don't mean it's good, it's kinda neutral). It doesn't really matter, anyone and everyone can have their own religious beliefs/views. I am an atheist and I expect people to understand that and respect that I don't believe in a god/higher power. If they respect my beliefs then I shall respect theirs and if someone who is religious finds out that someone is an atheist they should not freak out or start saying how wrong it is (i've had that a few times). When I found out my friend was a Buddhist I didn't care, in fact I was a little bit jealous because I have never really been a spiritual person (apart from a few 'experiences') and I think that it is good for the body mentally to have that level of spiritualism. Anyway I think I am running wayyy of topic and just telling you all my views and opinions about religion and spiritualism, but in conclusion I think that you shouldn't be angry or frustrated if someone doesn't believe in what you believe in, we are our own person, we live our own life, respect that and I will respect you. (Sometimes I think I put more effort into VT posts than my geography assessments.)