Screw up 'friendship'

[Mynick]

I must be one of the stupidest person to ever walk on Earth
First off i love Clara (let's call her Clara). And Clara is best friends with Amanda (again not het real name).
By the time i started talking with Amanda i just wanted to get close with Clara's friends. Of course this seems cheap or smething like that but yeah i had tried everything and we (Clara and I) barely talked.
By talking with Amanda and getting to know her we become kind of best friends. But this wasn't a real friendship. Our relationship was based on helping each other. She talked with me when she had problems and i would try to help. That was the main topic of our conversations.
Now you may not know, but i have panic attacks by talking with someone new or being in public situations (she knows this). So i would keep telling her that i couldn't meet with her.
In the end one of our conversations she said 'I love you' (love like friends dont get wnything wrong here). To which i replied, 'dont get it wrong we havent speak personaly'. I know it was a stupid thing to say. Next day she text me saying she doesnt needs to talk with me about her problems anymore, she learnt how to solve them (not true) and real friends talk personaly etc etc. I was angry when i read this to my fuck up head, if we doesnt need me why should i keep texting her. So i stupidly tex her saying that i should back off and we should stop talking. Now i regret it ofc, but its too late. I already said im sorry but i cant do anything more.

I guess i just need to vent, thanks for reading this. Sorry if i got the tenses wrong.

[Living For Love]

Hi! If she said "I love you" so I guess that means she really liked you as a friend. You were someone she could trust on, I wish I had a friend like that :). Anyway, I think you should apologize to her. I just couldn't understand what you said when she said she loved you. Why don't you want to build a real friendship with her? Real friendship is not based only in telling eachother our problems, you're right, but that happened because perhaps it was too soon. You must insist with her, tell her that you love her the way she told you she loved you and that when you said that you should back off and stop talking with her, you were just nervous and kinda angry. If she still doesn't want to talk to you, giver her some time, and make sure you're still around her friends and Clara's friends. Boa sorte :)

[Mynick]

Hi! If she said "I love you" so I guess that means she really liked you as a friend. You were someone she could trust on, I wish I had a friend like that :). Anyway, I think you should apologize to her. I just couldn't understand what you said when she said she loved you. Why don't you want to build a real friendship with her? Real friendship is not based only in telling eachother our problems, you're right, but that happened because perhaps it was too soon. You must insist with her, tell her that you love her the way she told you she loved you and that when you said that you should back off and stop talking with her, you were just nervous and kinda angry. If she still doesn't want to talk to you, giver her some time, and make sure you're still around her friends and Clara's friends. Boa sorte :)

I've already apologize and talked with her, now the only thing i can do is wait. Time will tell.
Obrigado :)

[Mynick]

Ok, update

I talked a bit more with Amanda and she told me to forget her. I choose this myself (true) so i should leave her alone.

[Living For Love]

Well, I guess that if she said you should leave her alone, and if you also want that in a certain way, so I think it's better for you two if you just do that, leave her alone.
I think it's sad that your friendly relationship had to end this way, but I'm sure you'll get other friends and meet new people.

[Mynick]

Thanks, i'll do it