Am I Gay

[callum_hurren]

This isn't a question it's an answer really just so everyone can just know , you are only gay if you have an emotional attraction another male even if you have touched your friend penis or given a blow job or anything gay related , it's all just part of puberty and experimenting .

I've anal masturbated and didn't like it , so I've experimented it doesn't make me gay , I watched gay porn a couple of times , so what it doesn't make me gay.

And even if you are gay who cares its your decision and if your worried about coming out and your friends judging you you shouldn't because if they do judge it means they aren't real friends and they are just homophobic sados who arnt worth anything .

[Living For Love]

Totally agree, bro! :)

[Harley Quinn]

P101 :arrow: Teen Sexuality.

[teen.jpg]

For the most part I see what you're trying to say, but nobody made the "choice". Because it's not a choice.

And you can have both a physical and/or emotional attraction to a guy and still not be gay. You'd know if you were.

[Nomad_X]

This isn't a question it's an answer really just so everyone can just know , you are only gay if you have an emotional attraction another male even if you have touched your friend penis or given a blow job or anything gay related , it's all just part of puberty and experimenting .

I've anal masturbated and didn't like it , so I've experimented it doesn't make me gay , I watched gay porn a couple of times , so what it doesn't make me gay.

And even if you are gay who cares its your decision and if your worried about coming out and your friends judging you you shouldn't because if they do judge it means they aren't real friends and they are just homophobic sados who arnt worth anything .

Being gay is not a decision that one makes. Also, sexuality is more complicated then just "emotional attachments"

I completely disagree with your reasoning.

[Lovelife090994]

I agree with your comment on some things but not on the reasoning. While one's sexuality can be a choice it can developmental or brought up by exposure, it is not something you're born with to me or apparently to you because well if that were the case, we'd be sexual before puberty.

[Elysium]

This isn't a question it's an answer really just so everyone can just know , you are only gay if you have an emotional attraction another male
I agree with everything you've posted except for this. Going to get a little technical here, so bear with me.

Sexuality is defined, by my computer anyway, as "capacity for sexual feelings." It applies to sexual or physical feelings and/or emotional ones. Having a purely emotional and consistent attraction to the same sex does not necessarily make you gay. It's up to the individual to define what being gay or being straight or being anything on the infinite spectrum of humanity means to them or how it applies to them.

Oh, and I overlooked it the first time, but I might add that what Myles said is very correct, and he worded it much more succinctly than I'm apparently capable of. You cannot consciously help who you end up being attracted to and in what form(s). The choice lies in whether or not you act on those feelings.

I agree with your comment on some things but not on the reasoning. While one's sexuality can be a choice it can developmental or brought up by exposure, it is not something you're born with to me or apparently to you because well if that were the case, we'd be sexual before puberty.
Not to agree or disagree with you here, but many people are sexual before puberty. There have been many instances of children masturbating themselves or exploring various aspects of their bodies with or without other people without fully comprehending the significance of such acts. It's exploratory and not nearly as serious as it would be once they hit puberty, but it exists nonetheless.

[Lovelife090994]

I agree with everything you've posted except for this. Going to get a little technical here, so bear with me.

Sexuality is defined, by my computer anyway, as "capacity for sexual feelings." It applies to sexual or physical feelings and/or emotional ones. Having a purely emotional and consistent attraction to the same sex does not necessarily make you gay. It's up to the individual to define what being gay or being straight or being anything on the infinite spectrum of humanity means to them or how it applies to them.

Oh, and I overlooked it the first time, but I might add that what Myles said is very correct, and he worded it much more succinctly than I'm apparently capable of. You cannot consciously help who you end up being attracted to and in what form(s). The choice lies in whether or not you act on those feelings.


Not to agree or disagree with you here, but many people are sexual before puberty. There have been many instances of children masturbating themselves or exploring various aspects of their bodies with or without other people without fully comprehending the significance of such acts. It's exploratory and not nearly as serious as it would be once they hit puberty, but it exists nonetheless.

Exploratory sex that isn't really sex before puberty? Isn't that illegal somewhere? I still feel as if sexuality is more fluid than people give credit for. So many have that black and white answer of sexualities, born with one, never to change. Sexuality to me can change and can be of choice and or development. Who are we to refute those who really did make a choice?

[Tarannosaurus]

In my opinion you can't choose your sexuality,but you can choose what to label or not label yourself as. I agree that sexuality is fluid. The sexuality you had at the start of puberty may not be the sexuality you come out of it with. Apparently only a minority of people are completely heterosexual or homosexual. Most people are somewhere in between. I don't know why so many teenagers seem to think that a little experimentation makes you gay. Being gay isn't something you can catch from experimenting. Your sexuality is not your actions but your feelings.

[JamesSuperBoy]

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[Elysium]

Exploratory sex that isn't really sex before puberty? Isn't that illegal somewhere? I still feel as if sexuality is more fluid than people give credit for. So many have that black and white answer of sexualities, born with one, never to change. Sexuality to me can change and can be of choice and or development. Who are we to refute those who really did make a choice?
Not full blown intercourse, but children exploring their bodies and the bodies of others? Is that not acting sexually? Being sexual doesn't necessarily mean having sex. Humans are sexual beings.

I agree, it's very fluid and it can and does change over time, but I don't believe any therapy or any external force (i.e., a choice) is going to be able to alter who you're attracted to in the end. You cannot tell yourself "I'm going to be attracted to this man" if he possesses no appealing traits. The choice lies in whether or not people act upon their feelings of attraction, and that choice does not define sexuality. If I'm attracted to women but I choose to be in relationships with men, that means I'm in heterosexual relationships, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm attracted to women.

Actually, because of how fluid sexuality is, I don't like saying "he's gay," "she's lesbian," "he's straight," "she's straight," etc. Too rigid. Of course, it's not anything I can go changing anytime soon; putting a label on who they are gives many people comfort, and for many people, such a rigid definition fits them.

[Spook]

It's kind of strange to me that teens are asking if they are gay in some of these forums. Sexuality is something you need to discover yourself, nobody can tell you who you are.
I agree with you.

[callum_hurren]

In my post when I mention "choice" I ment it is your choice whether to act on them emotions you have .

[Luminous]

In my post when I mention "choice" I ment it is your choice whether to act on them emotions you have .

It's your decision to act on those feelings but if someone pretends to be straight for the rest of their lives they will be miserable and emotionally torture themselves. Every human being should be proud of who they are.
I see where you're coming from though.

[Josh from SoCal]

I read these and so many other posts on here and I realized that our generation is full of very open, clear thinking, and mature people. How do adults miss this in us?

Sexuality is, imo, a mixture of genetics and external influences in our lives. One only reacts to the outcome rather than having any control on it. I'd hope that one day we simply can remove all the labels and just be people who love those that we love, in whatever capacity we love them and not have to deal with "right" or "wrong" or "gay" or whatever. I don't believe my life or the social structure of the world I want to live in should be dictated by a book of stories written and rewritten over and over of folklore, by some dudes long before we were born. Fanatics have shaped our society for too long. Live and let live. Don't need some old book to shape my life around.

[Gifford]

This isn't a question it's an answer really just so everyone can just know , you are only gay if you have an emotional attraction another male even if you have touched your friend penis or given a blow job or anything gay related , it's all just part of puberty and experimenting .

I've anal masturbated and didn't like it , so I've experimented it doesn't make me gay , I watched gay porn a couple of times , so what it doesn't make me gay.

And even if you are gay who cares its your decision and if your worried about coming out and your friends judging you you shouldn't because if they do judge it means they aren't real friends and they are just homophobic sados who arnt worth anything .

I'm confused. In the first two paragraphs you mention things you've done and then justified it by saying that just doing it doesn't make you gay.

In the next paragraph you said you didn't like anal masturbation, and watched gay porn, then you say that doesn't make you gay either.

The most interesting thing you said was in paragraph 1 that you had fooled around with guys, but then you wrote that off by saying it's just experimenting and doesn't make you gay. You did say, however, that the only thing that makes a guy gay is having an emotional attraction to another guy, but you did not say if you had had that experience with another guy.

Your final paragraph only describes coming out to your friends and those who support you are true friends and those who don't support you or judge you are not your friends anyway.

So please tell me: have you had emotional feelings for another guy and are you gay or not? You know full well that if you come out here on VT you'll get all the support in the world. But your post didn't clearly say anything about YOU.

[Harley Quinn]

This was bumped. :locked: