Is sexuality a choice or are you born with it?

[Azmate]

I have heard a lot of people say either one of them but I want to know which is actually true. I personally believe it is how you're born but I might be wrong. Also, if it were choice then why wouldn't everyone want to be bi so they can like everyone? I identify myself as straight but slightly homosexual, just not enough to consider myself bisexual. (I have only ever been attracted to one male and we did 'stuff' together. I have also masturbated to homosexual porn though a lot of it I just sort of 'can't'.)

Please also comment why you believe what you believe.

[Bazinga]

Born with it, I'm normally pretty open minded about stuff like this and respect peoples opinions but honestly i don't know how anyone can seriously think you choose your sexuality. I've always known i was different and can never remember choosing to be the way i am - no offence to anyone.

[Lost in the Echo]

How could it possibly be a choice?
For instance, gays have faced a bunch of ridicule, and scrutiny, why would someone purposely choose that kind of life?
I've never understood why people ask this question, when the answer is a pretty blatant "no, it isn't a choice".

[Harley Quinn]

If sexuality was a choice, trust me I'd be straighter than straight. I've tried 'making' myself straight, it just doesn't work. Alas, it is not a choice and I can't change me being a lesbian even if I wanted to.

[Tarannosaurus]

There are nine countries where being gay is a hanging offence, why would someone 'choose' to be gay and put themselves in such danger?

[Twilly F. Sniper]

I don't really need to explain why it's not (oh trust me I know it well)

[Nottoocool]

I put depends because I know I was born gay and can't change it, but my cousin's girlfriend's mom became a lesbian after her husband cheated on her. She said she was just disgusted by men after that and became a lesbian.

[Croconaw]

Of course it's not a choice. People are born that way.

[LiamC]

If anybody says it's a choice then they are ridiculous. It's definitely something you're born with, no different to having blue eyes when you're born or being a certain size when you're born.

[teen.jpg]

I chose the wrong thing in the poll :O No, it's not a choice.

(And no, I'm not going to start an arguement this time)

[Lovelife090994]

To me sexuality is neither a choice nor inherant but developmental. Think about it, most of humanity is heterosexual and we are confronted with heteroromantic images all of our lives and when we're young our parents tell us how we'll one day marry someone of the opposite sex. Some wonder and some don't, some go curious, some don't and insist they are 100% straight which is probably hardly the case. To me sexuality is one of those it depends type of things.

However by nature if you follow the way nature is ran it would seem we are all born straight and at puberty it separates to what we really want.

[Luminous]

No, no, it's not a choice. For 4 freaking years I convinced myself I had a crush on a boy I had met twice, because he had told me he liked me, and every other kid I knew had crushes. I told people I know about this kid and how cute he was and how we would text every day (which we did). I hated it. If I could choose my sexuality I'd say straight in an instant, but I can't. And I've tried with that boy. He still stalks me on Facebook but I can't delete him because our moms are really good friends. Though I haven't come out of the closet to anyone but my parents and sister, it still hurts when straight people talk about how being gay is a sin.. if I could choose I'd get out of it but I can't.

[LouBerry]

No, no one chooses if they are gay or straight or trans or anything else. I didn't choose to be straight, I just am. I've never doubted it, and I've always been this way. I didn't choose anything. No one does.

[Biscuithead13]

Iv always had gay feelings, even since elementary school. I didn't choose it, its just how I felt and it felt natural to me. Not like I was presented with an attraction to guys and girls and chose one. I've never been attracted to girls and was to guys, and emotionally guys just would fulfill me better.

[Josh from SoCal]

Sexuality is not a choice. There is a third opinion that is out there but not represented here. Is your sexuality a product of environment and nurturing? Imo, everyone is born bisexual to the extent that there is some innate trait in each of us that attracts us to people regardless of gender. How we are raised, what ideals (not ideas) are instilled in us early on, our specific culture, how each parent (or lack of a parent) influenced us directly and indirectly.... all that forms our sexual "choice." We don't make a decision about it. But I think that there are a lot of factors that affect how we turn out.

I love analogies. Here is one. Think about a new car being manufactured. When it is being made, it starts out as raw material.... as it's formed, it becomes more and more of a car. but at many stages along the way, things are being changed... added.... created by outside influences (workers). most of the way along the assembly line, it can be many different things. only after external influences does it turn out to be a blue corvette or a red malibu. Sexuality is environmentally created but is influenced subtly by so many random factors that you couldn't control or affect it.

[Mariebme]

I could write my own example of why I think its ridic that anyone would say its a choice...but plenty of other ppl have done far better than I could! ^^
It's not a choice - you're born with it. I like bacon, biceps, boobs, and boys...just don't ask me to put them in an order! It changes depending on my mood.

[Josh from SoCal]

I could write my own example of why I think its ridic that anyone would say its a choice...but plenty of other ppl have done far better than I could! ^^
It's not a choice - you're born with it. I like bacon, biceps, boobs, and boys...just don't ask me to put them in an order! It changes depending on my mood.

exactly! perfectly stated for me also.

[NeuroTiger]

Scientifically speaking, there is perhaps an influence from our genetic makeup.
The strength of a gene onto another in terms of sexual attraction.
It's still a hypothesis though.
Sociologically speaking, it depends on our immediate environment and how we grew up.
How had our parents behave to us and how had we exploit the 'facilities offered' by our respective sexual hormones (mainly testosterone for males and progesterone and oestrogene for females). This is how,again, PERHAPS, selection of our sexuality has evolved. There are food that are rich in certain sexual hormones like soya.
Psychologically speaking, our brain is the control center of our body. We think, we decide, our body execute. Controlling almost all of our actions, if we think we should behave other than what the organ between our legs has condemned us, it is where we choose our sexuality.
It's mostly a matter of choice.

[Cygnus]

Unlike most people I do not see what could make someone be born straight or bi or homosexual. I just think it is personal choice, it just seems illogical to be born with it, I just cannot imagine how that is possible. Then again, that is just me and I admit I could be wrong.

[AdamVanNostrund]

It is fair to say choices are not freewill, a choice is a chemical reaction in the brain, ultimately there is no freewill. Who you are and what you become is no more your choice than your parents.
I personally believe sexuality is not a choice but a predetermined trait.

[steellord321]

Unlike most people I do not see what could make someone be born straight or bi or homosexual. I just think it is personal choice, it just seems illogical to be born with it, I just cannot imagine how that is possible. Then again, that is just me and I admit I could be wrong.

Yes, i totally chose to lose friends, have no chance at finding a mate and have to transfer schools. Where is the benefit in this "choice"? *This* theory is not only illogical but insulting. Maybe you aren't trying to insult but you really need to think it thru.

[sqishy]

Sexuality, like other fundamental characteristics of yourself (eye colour, height, hair colour etc.), is not a choice. I think us non-straights are born with it, and really don't have a choice. Anyhow, choices are based off logical reasoning with thinking; sexuality involves feelings, emotions and sexual desires, and they all have one thing in common: they are not logical or come with a clear-cut reason.
If they were logical we'd be able to reason our way out of it. We can't. And there's nothing negative about that at all. Because if I did have the choice to be any orientation, I'd stay as gay. Because it is part of me- I can't be me without it.

[The Enderwoman]

There are nine countries where being gay is a hanging offence, why would someone 'choose' to be gay and put themselves in such danger?

Exactly, very good point

[MikeSpace]

I think you're born with it!

[skandardude]

I find myself again shocked that the 'stuff' of this poll is even up for debate. Sexuality is a core and integral facet of every individual. It is something that is developed and grown into, but the core foundation of sexuality is deeply rooted and it is scientifically and socially evident that it is something that a person is born with.

Recent studies have shown that (and for the purposes of my citation, I will be talking about homosexual males--not necessarily lesbians, but I feel like the material can be extrapolated and assessed thereto) homosexual males have a tiny responsive clump of neuroreceptors at the base of the neocortex that was not found in heterosexual men. This is still circumstantial and highly debated and still in heavy research, but I feel like it is worth noting. If this finding is substantiated and proven, it will finally isolate the fact that sexuality is innate and not a matter of choice or environment.

Furthermore, I want to emphasize the following, we [and I speak collectively on behalf of most homosexuals and lesbians] would not choose a life of adversity, scrutiny and judgment. If it was a choice, I would certainly be straight. But I can't. It won't work for me. This is not to say that I am not INTENSELY proud of my sexuality--it makes me, me--but who would honestly choose to be bullied and marginal? I am proud to be who I am, and excessively proud of our advancements around the world with respect to gay rights.

The bottom line is and always will be that being gay, bisexual, straight or any perceptive variant in-between, is a matter of the way you were born.

[Abyssal Echo]

Born with it, I'm normally pretty open minded about stuff like this and respect peoples opinions but honestly i don't know how anyone can seriously think you choose your sexuality. I've always known i was different and can never remember choosing to be the way i am - no offence to anyone.

I agree with Bazinga you are born with it.

How could it possibly be a choice?
For instance, gays have faced a bunch of ridicule, and scrutiny, why would someone purposely choose that kind of life?
I've never understood why people ask this question, when the answer is a pretty blatant "no, it isn't a choice".

I agree with Bo to its not a choice. believe me its not a life I would have chosen if I would have had a choice.

[Swagamemmnon]

For MOST people, sexuality is definitely not a choice, because then everyone would logically choose heterosexuality. However, a few people do have fluid sexualities, and a small percentage of that group can consciously choose their sexual orientations. However, it's a really small group, so generally speaking most people you meet will not have chosen their sexuality.

[Dunce]

From the two choices you gave, I would say born with it. But I don't think that's always the case. I'm not saying I think it's choice, ever, I just think sometimes it might have to do with the development of the brain after birth because of external factors like experiences. If it is a choice it's definitely a subconscious one, but I doubt it.
And to the person above, fluidity doesn't mean you can choose. Changing sexuality doesn't automatically mean that it's a voluntary change. I consider myself fluid because I'm straight and I used to be a lesbian and so forth, and I would never ask for these changes. Changes in sexuality and stress about sexuality is not a nice thing to have over you. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that alcoholism is more prevalent in sexually fluid people because it causes stress and generally causes people a feeling of instability.
Rant over, sorry it really bugs me when people misunderstand fluidity :/ Before I actually found out what fluidity meant I thought it meant people who could just choose to like someone, which I didn't really buy.

[Gifford]

From all I've read and talked about with teachers and other students and friends, sexuality is not a choice, it's the way you were born. You cannot choose to be gay or str8 or bi any more than you can choose to have brown, blue, green or hazel colored eyes. These things, like our sexuality are genetic in origin. Puberty is a process of discovery, finding out the truth about your sexuality. Unfortunately our society in the US and societies in many parts of the world have much judgement against any sexuality that is NOT what is considered as acceptable.

Much of what controls this is religion. Religion uses fear of what the God of the accepted religion will do to you if you sway from what is accepted. Here in the US, there are certain factions of Christianity that teach that God is a punishing God and that you will spend eternity burning in hell if you are not straight. Most of the rest of Christianity is not so harsh, and believes in a loving God who accepts us all just as we are, and that God does not care who we sleep with, only that we treat the person/s we sleep with lovingly and humanely.

There are people who are of a sexuality where if they choose, will call themselves straight and hold themselves out to the world and say they are straight just so they can fit into what their religion designates as acceptable. Many of them live miserable lives void of true love, who are forced to find and marry and raise a family so it looks like they fit in.

i saw this type of family growing up and vowed to myself that I would never allow myself to live such an "unnatural" life, spending my adulthood living and sharing a life with a person I was never nor would I ever be in love with. That was when i started to see that my physical and emotional attraction for guys was my primary motivator in my love life. It took a good bit of acceptance, much determination, and an unwillingness to cave in and take the easy way out by conforming to something that was not inherently in my nature.

I love being gay, I embrace it, and i try to help others to see that being gay is a gift to be enjoyed and nurtured.

[Hallie]

Well, I don't remember the way the world looked when I was born, so I can't say that I was born this way cuz I really don't know--the best I can say is that I've had feelings for the same sex for as long as I can remember. It is definitely not a choice. Who would choose to be gay in a society that stigmatizes it?

[chargersfan]

Not really, but you aren't born with a dead set sexuality, you are born with a general sexuality.

What I mean by this is even though I feel like I'm completely gay. I will go through phases where I am slightly attracted to girls, then phases when I'm not. I always maintain my attraction to guys, but sometimes I can range on the Kinsey Scale from a 6 to a 4.5. (To the point where I might do something with a girl if I was really horny and messed up on something) But then I will go through a phase where the though of a vagina is enough to make me puke. I maintain the fact that I am mostly gay, but I maintain that people can have their sexuality's evolve with time. Not even by their choice per say, but It's almost like when people are young they may not like a certain food, but as they age they start to enjoy it more. This can be applied to sexuality, what can not happen is somebody changes from completely gay to completely straight in one night. That just doesn't happen. If anybody did actually have this happen to them, you might want to see a sexual or psychological therapist, because you are having hormone problems or psychological problems that completely alter your personality/being.

[Harley Quinn]

This was bumped. :locked: