I really need help dealing with an old friend!

[TaylrJ]

Today, I started my sophomore year of high school. I am a guy & 15 years old. Anyways, It went pretty well but I have a couple classes with this boy I use to be very, very close to last freshman year. The thing is I have been in love with this boy for over a year now. I know that sounds obsessive but it all started out with just a little crush, and it turned into me caring about him a lot. This wasn't really just any "best friend" relationship either.. I mean to me, it was something really special & it was honestly the closest relationship I've ever been in, in my life.. Him and I became so close that literally everybody thought that we were gay together. I even thought it got to the point to where we were.. It's just that I loved him so much..

Well, he found out what everybody thought (I never told him how I feel, and I never will) ...But since there were gay rumors, he avoided me to the point to where it made me depressed. From there, all it did was get worse, since someone I was so close too now had a girlfriend and didn't wanna talk to me anymore. Of course he played it off like it was nothing, but I could tell deep down he was sick of me. I was really in love with him at this point too so I got kind of suicidal, and just as a cry for help, I told him I was thinking about suicide one night over the phone. He didn't take it seriously at all and told me to leave him alone..

At school today he was joking with me and teasing me in some weird, flirty way. I just can't play along though! It's just too awkward! But I know if it wasn't awkward I would try to be close with him again, if I even could... But I also know I can't because in a way I feel like he doesn't deserve it, he doesn't deserve me. And one thing I know for sure is that if I do get close to him, I'd fall for him even more, which will just end up hurting me. So I basically just ignore him, as much as I hate doing it...

Last year, it was just difficult, confusing, depressing, etc., and it still is.. I hate how every day at that school I am going to see him and not be able to smile at him, joke around, or even say hi! I hate him! But at the same time I want him to love me so I can love him... I don't understand how it all works this way but it just does and I wanna cry.

Can you please help me? What should I do? Thanks.

[NikosamA98]

Omg you're in love. I don't know what to say. Just try to be his friend again...idk because if you tell him you love him and that you're gay or bi, it could definitely ruin the rest of the friendship. In the other hand, he could understand that you need him to be, at least, your friend and that could even take you to be more than friends.

You and only you have the decision of what to do. If you need some quotes, here you go:

"Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we are nothing? Because "We accept the love we think we deserve" -The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"Do one thing everyday that scares you. Sing. Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours" -Baz Luhrmann

"Worse things men have done, have been done with the best intentions" -Jurassic Park 3

"Love is in the air. Sometimes you breathe too much and you fall in love, so wear gas masks all the time" -Me :B

[TaylrJ]

Well thanks, lol, and for the quotes too. I've decided this awhile back but as hard as it is I am just going to try my best to accept it.. Because I am obviously in love! Haha! But the weird thing is that I still don't get why this happens to me, I only want someone in my life but this is the exact opposite I get and it's just like what did I ever do to deserve this?! Haha so I kinda just go with the flow now and whatever happens, happens.

[NikosamA98]

Well thanks, lol, and for the quotes too. I've decided this awhile back but as hard as it is I am just going to try my best to accept it.. Because I am obviously in love! Haha! But the weird thing is that I still don't get why this happens to me, I only want someone in my life but this is the exact opposite I get and it's just like what did I ever do to deserve this?! Haha so I kinda just go with the flow now and whatever happens, happens.


Well, I have a similar situation but I know,it happens to me because I'm dumb. I can't talk with my best friend. I have a crush on him since like forever and last year I started shaking everytime he was close to me. When he hugged me I just freeze and now I lost him... Or that's what I think. Anyways, I should do a post about it. This is your post so just wait for any other advise because I don't know if mine is good :S. In fact, I was going to PM a moderator because I thought my advice was terrible haha. Now I'm talking too much I'm sorry. Just wait more advice!

[MilitaryBoy]

Well thanks, lol, and for the quotes too. I've decided this awhile back but as hard as it is I am just going to try my best to accept it.. Because I am obviously in love! Haha! But the weird thing is that I still don't get why this happens to me, I only want someone in my life but this is the exact opposite I get and it's just like what did I ever do to deserve this?! Haha so I kinda just go with the flow now and whatever happens, happens.

Yes, just do what you feel is right. If you can, try to talk to him on a personal level. And the main thing that I suggest is that you make sure that you stay friends. I understand your situation and I wish you the best of luck. :)

[TaylrJ]

Alright, well last night I was thinking about it real hard and I just decided I should forgive him. I am gonna be at the school for 3 more years & so is he. Plus, the whole "suicide situation" happened back in December and I defiantly cannot hold a grudge on that for the rest of my life. He was like a kid back then too so I can even see why he'd handle it immaturely.. I mean he really thought I was joking.

Also, back then, I was extremely obsessive over the people I fell for and things that they did bothered me very badly.. But now I've been through enough to be okay with it if someone I like does something as little as flirt with another person, without getting jealous & depressed, because I use to like go insane if I never got the attention. Lol, crazy right?!

Anyways, I thought all night about the memories and how we related to each other so I honestly prayed and asked God to somehow bring us together, just a friendship (religious here, lol) ..So the next day I was at lunch and when I sat down he literally got up from his table and moved to mine. We talked, listened to music, and joked around. Then, we talked during the next two classes we had together...

I cannot believe it's all okay now, lol! But now I know just to forgive, cause hell, we all make mistakes...! And I know by now, I will always be in love with him and I will always imagine a possibility of him & I being together, but even if we don't, everything will just be so much easier now since I don't get so attached to people I like anymore. And I never would've learned how to stop obsessing over people if I never would've gone through this.. So thanks for helping! And believe me, it'll work out for you too! Since you gave me a quote... Here, this should fit your situation.

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.” -John Lennon

Again, thanks for helping! :)

[NikosamA98]

Great! :D thats good to hear! And thank you for helping me too with that quote. Here i have another one that will help us too:

"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" -A Cinderella Story

[Spook]

Oh my god this is the cutest freking thread I have ever read. I just wanna hug you both. :whoops: