i need to tell someone..

[star_face]

i need to tell someone this becuase i can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me crazy.
on new year i was having a really bad night and my mates dragged me out to a club unaware that i'd already taken 15 painkillers,and anyway after a few drinks i met a guy that night that looked after me,now i really like him and since i've completely stopped cutting it's been almost 3 weeks, but i feel so crap i really want to do it , and loads of stuff is going on and i'm getting so stressed that i can't relise it all, and i've become really sensative and get angry at the littlest things. i've tried pinging elastic bands and alsorts but none of it working and i'm really worried becuase my hair has started to fall out i actually have 2 bold spots, their not obvious atm but you can clearly see them when i part my hair where they are, i feel like i should just start cutting again becuase none of this was happening before when i was.
i'm scared that this guy is going to run a mile when he find out i self harm, and i've become so dependent on being with him to stop me cutting that if he does leave, i don't know what i'll do. i don't know if that made any sense:(

[thesphinx]

I'm sorry your having a hard time, you can't rely on other people for your happiness you're going to have to find it within yourself and it can be hard. Is there anything that you Absolutely love to do?

If nothing else please don't cut you will just start the cycle over again.
We're here for you :hug:

[star_face]

i know, i did like doing art and i'm doing a art course atm, but i've lost all interest in it, and i can't be bothered with it, i don't even turn up most days now. everything i used to love doing i just don't feel like doing anymore.
:(

[thesphinx]

This happens a lot with depression, you loose interest in everything you once loved.
But when you get over depression it WILL come back trust me, have you tried any type of therapy?

[byee]

It always hard to add much to what Michael says, he's a real gem around these parts. But, sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else, too.

It sounds like you have a lot going on, and it's interferring with many important things in your life, good things that you don't want to lose.
Being aware of all that, you should take the necessary steps to take care of yourself and not risk losing all this!

I'm not sure what you were doing with 15 painkillers, but it would seem as if you're trying to numb yourself (understandable given the urge to cut), but there are better ways to rid yourself of these destructive urges. Get some therapy, call a doc, make an appointment. And until then, stay focused on the good things in your life, like your b/f and your art classes.