UPDATE: Can't Seem To Keep My Mind Off of My Best Friend

[Trae329]

This post will not make ANY sense if you did not keep up with the following thread: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2382095

Oh, and this is a long post. Put on some reading glasses and enjoy:



Well, I have good news, and possibly bad news.
I was starting to doubt that I could sexually experiment with him (Jason) as I noticed that he started to have an attraction to this girl. So I was going to let the summer take it's course and go back to school at the end of it..
We had only jacked off at his house and at mine after my earlier thread, and one person would be in one room and I would be in the other. Eh, it was something, right?
Perhaps my summer took a huge spin.
I was at another friend's (now ex-friend's) party, when Jason's father called my dad. It was weird because he wouldn't tell me absolutely ANYTHING (my dad, this is) about ANYTHING Jason's dad said. It was if something was wrong; which actually turned out to be the exact opposite. See, my parents were not planning on taking me on vacation, which kinda sucked. We just didn't have the money for it this year, let alone the time with the amount of baseball I had been playing. After baseball season was over, all-stars began, and that really was it. However, it was pretty awesome when my dad finally surprised me at the end of the party.
I was going on vacation with Jason and his family! 3 days at his grandparents' house, and 7 days at Myrtle Beach.
Sweet! :D
Not only was it awesome because I haven't been on vacation, but it was also with my best friend.
On July 31st, I left my house to end up in a 9-hour car ride. That was just terrible. However, that isn't the point of the story...
So when we arrived at his grandparents' house, it was about 5-6PM, and we ate dinner and basically hung out for a short while.
We slept in their computer room with 2 air mattresses next to each other. It was about 10PM when we were playing Minecraft on their computer, and Jason brought up the question:
"What do you want to do?"
Something immediately struck me on the head saying, "MAKE YOUR MOVE DAMNIT!"
I said, "Well we couldn't jack off for these 10 days, could we?" He said, "Well..." and I said, "We should sexually experiment."
He agreed. Now, I had to explain it to him and made him swear upon his life that he would never tell anyone.
So at about 11:30, we "revealed" to each other.
And then things took it's course... handjob, blowjob, 69, frot (genital-to-genital rubbing), basically everything but anal.
So afterward, we swore we would never tell anyone.
And the next day, the same thing happened.
And the next day. Finally, Jason said "I don't want to do this anymore, we are leaving my grandparent's tomorrow, and I am done doing this."
I said, "Okay, I am too."
I kind of lied. It felt so... good. I can't describe how it is to get a blowjob, it's really different but it was probably the best part of it.
So the "fresh start" began.
The first night at Myrtle, nothing happened. We were given our room, which was a giant room with 2 huge queen beds, and a bathroom and shower. Pretty awesome, right?
The second night, however, it came up again. And we did it in the shower.
The third night, didn't happen.
The fourth night, didn't happen.
Then came the fifth night. And we did it again...
We just came to an agreement that if it happened again, whatever. But we tried to do a "fresh start" almost 3 times. Never happened.
It's been a week now since this vacation. He still talks to me all the time, we hung out yesterday at our school's community days, but I can't seem to think straight about him ever since.
Is this bad, or am I just overreacting?

Thanks.

[TurboDieselBandit]

I think it's due to the thrill of the experience and active hormones that keep you two doing it. I had a very similar experience last school year, including the numerous "fresh starts" that never seemed to mark the end. Five or six months later, the memories are very arousing. In my opinion, I wouldn't worry, reminiscent thoughts after such an intense experience is to be expected. Just think before you act and make sure you both are on the same page.

[MilitaryBoy]

I agree. Just make sure you're both comfortable with what you're doing and don't move to fast.

[teen.jpg]

First off, I feel like I just read fanfiction. You should look into that.

But in all seriousness, just take it slow and don't rush into things.

[NikosamA98]

First off, I feel like I just read fanfiction. You should look into that.

But in all seriousness, just take it slow and don't rush into things.


Hahahaha totally YES about the fan fiction.

P.D.: Sorry for posting double. I don't know how to double quote in one post :S

This post will not make ANY sense if you did not keep up with the following thread: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2382095

Oh, and this is a long post. Put on some reading glasses and enjoy:


I It's been a week now since this vacation. He still talks to me all the time, we hung out yesterday at our school's community days, but I can't seem to think straight about him ever since.
Is this bad, or am I just overreacting?

Thanks.



Ok. But what do you want to do? Do you wanna keep doing this things with him? Do you wanna be his boyfriend? If that's the case, you should take it slowly, let your hormones calm down and have a talk with him but that could be awkward so idk. If it was me, I would ask him if he wants to keep doing it and if he likes it (I wouldn't ask if he is gay/bi directly because maybe he is just experimenting and that would be too awkward)

[changgonggao]

Think twice before you act and make sure you both are on the same page.

[Trae329]

Ok. But what do you want to do? Do you wanna keep doing this things with him? Do you wanna be his boyfriend? If that's the case, you should take it slowly, let your hormones calm down and have a talk with him but that could be awkward so idk. If it was me, I would ask him if he wants to keep doing it and if he likes it (I wouldn't ask if he is gay/bi directly because maybe he is just experimenting and that would be too awkward)
Sorry for the late reply, I completely forgot about this thread.

I would like to do it with him just one more time, but the fear of me asking him when I can and him saying no will make the night awkward... Although after doing it 5 times with him I can estimate the right time to ask him.

After the third time that we did this, he said he didn't want to do it anymore, but we did it again twice and then he said it again. Personally I do think that he wants to do it again but that, I'm not sure of.

At this point my hormones are at their peak at changing right now and it doesn't seem like I'm emotionally attracted to him (well I am but just as best friends) but I'm not sure if I would say an absolute no. If he was truly gay and so was I, then yes I would be his boyfriend. But only under these circumstances.

I always sense myself getting really close with him; like almost cuddling with him. It just makes me feel warm. Not like I want to just start making out with him let alone kiss him, but being really close feels really good around him. I try to do that when I can and he is never bothered by it. He was a little before we sexually experimented, but ever since he hasn't said a word about it.

I don't see myself coming out in high school anyway if I was 100% positive I was gay. That's just a bad decision in my opinion.

Any thoughts, anyone? I'm not sure how I would bring it up again if I had him over. During vacation, it was late at night (11PM through 1AM at latest).

[Trae329]

Sorry for the bump but I desperately need advice...

We've been texting each other these past two days and he seems more quiet than he used to be... Almost if he doesn't want to talk to me.

And in school, we don't get to see each other as much as I'd like to. When we do we don't talk very much; I bring up the conversations..

It's as if I'm not there.

I'm seriously thinking that I am becoming emotionally attracted to him...
I need help! :/

Please respond with your advice. How should I bring along that he isn't noticing me? Should I ignore it or take action and talk to him in private?

Even a thought would be nice.

[Living For Love]

He's probably facing some kind of trouble at the moment. Be honest with him, tell him that you've noticed that he's been sad and distant recently. Tell him that, if he wants, he can tell you what's wrong with him and that you are available to help him.

[Trae329]

He's probably facing some kind of trouble at the moment. Be honest with him, tell him that you've noticed that he's been sad and distant recently. Tell him that, if he wants, he can tell you what's wrong with him and that you are available to help him.

Well there is nothing wrong it turns out: He just said he is quiet sometimes.

And honestly I really am a worrier and I always get sensitive about everything... He knows too.

Should I ask him if he would be willing to sexually experiment again? Or should I wait until I go with him to a baseball game on the 12th and ask him privately?

Thanks for the advice. :)

[Cook my Sock]

You should ask in private but dont like force it on him
Just say that your willing to experiment again and your ready when he is

Im sorry if this isnt helpful but I tried.

[Living For Love]

I don't think he's in the mood to experience anything sexual again, but if you eventually notice that he's ready, do it and make sure you do it not only just for fun but also to strengthen your friendship.

[Trae329]

I don't think he's in the mood to experience anything sexual again, but if you eventually notice that he's ready, do it and make sure you do it not only just for fun but also to strengthen your friendship.

Well I think I've brought it up a few times and I always apologize. He always responds that it doesn't bother him and he really doesn't care if I bring it up.

I'm still thinking about asking him via text though... Do you think I should wait?

[Trae329]

You should ask in private but dont like force it on him
Just say that your willing to experiment again and your ready when he is

Im sorry if this isnt helpful but I tried.

Trust me, that's very helpful. Thank you.

I would never force it on anyone so if he says no, it's worth a try.

Or should I text him about it?

[Unsubscribed]

Don't text him about it. I've been in situations where I want to bring up a serious topic web te other person isn't really in a good mood and it just sets off a fire that soon blows up. That's just because in a worrier I guess, but I really like your story. It really sounds like as if you are staring to get emotionally attracted to him. Just let things take it's course and maybe sooner down the road see if you want to take it up a notch??

Although I've never had this experience...This is really the only good advice I have. Sorry!

Sorry for the mistakes also... Where the* I'm* Starting*

[byee]

Trae, it's hard to tell what it is you want from your friend. You're saying you want to "Experiment more", yet you've already got the results from your "Experiment": You like it. And, it sounds like you like him, too. So, perhaps the real issue is what to do next (and by that I mean not just the physical part of the friendship, but the emotional).

I think you should take some time and figure out what it is you want from him first, really give this some thought. Then, you should find a way to talk with him personally and privately about your feelings and what you want. Be prepared for him to either agree. Or not.

What might have started out as curiosity sounds like it's replaced with actual desire. That's a big change (regardless of the gender of the other person) and there needs to be some acknowledgement by both of you about the acceptability of that before you proceed.

[Cook my Sock]

Trae, it's hard to tell what it is you want from your friend. You're saying you want to "Experiment more", yet you've already got the results from your "Experiment": You like it. And, it sounds like you like him, too. So, perhaps the real issue is what to do next (and by that I mean not just the physical part of the friendship, but the emotional).

I think you should take some time and figure out what it is you want from him first, really give this some thought. Then, you should find a way to talk with him personally and privately about your feelings and what you want. Be prepared for him to either agree. Or not.

What might have started out as curiosity sounds like it's replaced with actual desire. That's a big change (regardless of the gender of the other person) and there needs to be some acknowledgement by both of you about the acceptability of that before you proceed.

I think hes hit the nail on the head with that reply

[Trae329]

Don't text him about it. I've been in situations where I want to bring up a serious topic web te other person isn't really in a good mood and it just sets off a fire that soon blows up. That's just because in a worrier I guess, but I really like your story. It really sounds like as if you are staring to get emotionally attracted to him. Just let things take it's course and maybe sooner down the road see if you want to take it up a notch??

Although I've never had this experience...This is really the only good advice I have. Sorry!

Your advice is very helpful; no need to apologize.

Honestly I'm not sure if I am emotionally attracted to him... It's either that I am starting to, or I just think he looks hot, honestly I think he is one of the better looking guys in the grade. I think I might be more physically and sexually attracted to him.. Not sure yet.

Hopefully the 12th comes soon, I'm getting more anxious as the days go by; I don't know how I'll react if he says no to more sexual experimentation..

Trae, it's hard to tell what it is you want from your friend. You're saying you want to "Experiment more", yet you've already got the results from your "Experiment": You like it. And, it sounds like you like him, too. So, perhaps the real issue is what to do next (and by that I mean not just the physical part of the friendship, but the emotional).

I think you should take some time and figure out what it is you want from him first, really give this some thought. Then, you should find a way to talk with him personally and privately about your feelings and what you want. Be prepared for him to either agree. Or not.

What might have started out as curiosity sounds like it's replaced with actual desire. That's a big change (regardless of the gender of the other person) and there needs to be some acknowledgement by both of you about the acceptability of that before you proceed.

First off, thanks for the advice as well.

I did like sexually experimenting with Jason, really. But I'm not entirely sure if I am emotionally attracted to him as much as physically and sexually attracted to him.

It's been a long time and honestly I miss doing it, and I want to ask him very badly. I'm not sure if he is gay though, because he likes this one girl but he got rejected... So I'm pretty sure he is over it.

Let me put it this way: We say good night to each other almost every night, always text every night, and honestly I do treat him like a boyfriend, I do. I just want to sexually experiment with him one more time as I have new ideas.. But nevermind that, I wonder if he is gay!? And I'm really considering texting him if he wants to sexually experiment again, but I'm also not considering it because I don't want him to say no... I don't know how I'd handle it.

Sorry for any grammar mistakes.

[byee]

Trae, I gotta repeat that you're past the experimenting stage here, even if you have new things you might want to try, that's not so much "Experimentation" as actual desire. That's not an insignificant point, b/c what you're talking about is pursuing a sexual relationship, in addition to the emotional piece. The emotional piece is in place, you miss him, and you make emotional contact with him nightly. Adding the sex as a regular piece might complicate that. If he (or you) are gay, especially so, b/c sex and love are far more intertwined, it won't be so easy to casually dismiss this as "Experimentation", which is maybe why you keep referring to your desires that way. That's why I believe that you should give this some thought beyond the sexual/arousal piece. \What is it exactly that you want with him, and what is it he wants with you....deciding that before you continue is a safer way here b/c it minimizes the chances of heart break with either or both of you.

[Trae329]

Trae, I gotta repeat that you're past the experimenting stage here, even if you have new things you might want to try, that's not so much "Experimentation" as actual desire. That's not an insignificant point, b/c what you're talking about is pursuing a sexual relationship, in addition to the emotional piece. The emotional piece is in place, you miss him, and you make emotional contact with him nightly. Adding the sex as a regular piece might complicate that. If he (or you) are gay, especially so, b/c sex and love are far more intertwined, it won't be so easy to casually dismiss this as "Experimentation", which is maybe why you keep referring to your desires that way. That's why I believe that you should give this some thought beyond the sexual/arousal piece. \What is it exactly that you want with him, and what is it he wants with you....deciding that before you continue is a safer way here b/c it minimizes the chances of heart break with either or both of you.

First off thanks again for the advice.

What i really wanted is to experiment one more time - and what I mean by that is doing what we didn't do the 5 times we actually sexually experimented. Honestly I don't think he is gay, I had a talk with him about it last night over text (somehow it came up) and he said he doesn't want to do it again, which is fine. It just seems like I trust him so much that I could do it again with him because it was nice and different. I mean I never knew what half of the stuff felt like, it's not like I can suck my dick haha

But anyway, after our talk last night I'd honestly rather just be friends, if it happens again this topic will be continued. He always says that he'd rather not do it again but he said that twice on vacation and he brought it up one of the two times after he said that. I just think he believes that it is gay and in reality it's just sex, it doesn't determine what gender you prefer.

Thank you all for the advice, I'll keep you posted if anything abnormal happens on the 12th.

[Living For Love]

Look, Trae, I don't want to be rude or disrespectful, but it seems to me that you just want Jason as a friend because you only want to sexually experiment with him. You know, any relationship is not only made of sex but most importantly of the affectional bonds that connect each person, whether they are two boys, two girls or different genders. I think that Jason was really enjoying being your friend and doing funny things with you, being with you, hanging out with you, etc., but now he is starting to notice that you only want to sexual experiment with him, and he knows how that can eventually make him feel insecure about his sexuality. You say that you guys text wishing good night to eachother, that is a really sweet thing in my opinion. Try to hang out with him more often, being with him and not only thinking about experiment. He really loves you, but he wants you to be his friend, not his boyfriend or friends with benefits. Take good care of him and please, don't screw up this, you're really lucky for having a friend like him.

[Trae329]

Look, Trae, I don't want to be rude or disrespectful, but it seems to me that you just want Jason as a friend because you only want to sexually experiment with him. You know, any relationship is not only made of sex but most importantly of the affectional bonds that connect each person, whether they are two boys, two girls or different genders. I think that Jason was really enjoying being your friend and doing funny things with you, being with you, hanging out with you, etc., but now he is starting to notice that you only want to sexual experiment with him, and he knows how that can eventually make him feel insecure about his sexuality. You say that you guys text wishing good night to eachother, that is a really sweet thing in my opinion. Try to hang out with him more often, being with him and not only thinking about experiment. He really loves you, but he wants you to be his friend, not his boyfriend or friends with benefits. Take good care of him and please, don't screw up this, you're really lucky for having a friend like him.

Oh I have been hanging out with him since this vacation had happened. Don't get me wrong, I truly love Jason as a friend but I just honestly wanted to sexually experiment because ever since I did it with him it has made my sex drive even worse. I can handle it without having to sexually experiment with him and when he says no to anything I ask him I fully respect his opinion. I am just wishing that we get a little closer.. I'm not his best of best friends (I don't believe so at least) and I'm gonna try to keep this friendship as best as possible.

Also, I did not bring up the fact that I want to sexually experiment with him TO him. I tried to secretly flirt with him over text just to test his sexuality and his opinion about me this morning and he is definitely straight, believe me. He told me repeatedly that he was not gay and that he knows I am not gay (well at this point I don't think I am). The sexual desire was so strong with him and I'm not entirely sure why. He's very fit, and he calls himself fat which really is aggravating considering I way more than him.. And he is a really nice kid. I couldn't even think of trying to break our friendship. It's just bromance.

Thanks.