Trouble with a friend

[judgeofsin]

This is a problem I've been having for awhile now. Here's a bit of information. A friend I made recently is dealing with trust issues and depression. She gets upset rather easily. She thinks that I'm not willing to do anything for her. (She's asked me to do things for her that I'm not really comfortable with) She also feels as though I don't care about her at all, no matter how many times I say that I do. She even thinks that I'm out to hurt her when that's not the case at all. That's the last thing I would want and I try to make her happy whenever I can. I know that I'm not perfect, but who really is? I know that I make mistakes from time to time, but I really am sorry for those things. I just want everything to be alright... I'm worried about her. :(

[Harley Quinn]

People are going to push you away, they're going to act like that. She doesn't mean it, well at least usually people don't mean to be doing that. In some ways, we push the people we care about most away because that's what we're good at. All we really want is someone to be there and to listen. If you aren't comfortable with some of the things she's asking you to do, tell her. Don't force yourself to do them just because she's going through some things. Regardless of anything, you always have to look out for yourself too because otherwise you're just going to get hurt. Things like this take weeks, months, even years to finally be okay but that doesn't mean you're not doing the best you can be. Just reassure her you'll always be there for her. You don't have to be perfect, just be you. Being you is enough.

[judgeofsin]

I really appreciate your kind words. I really do. I know that she's told me before that despite what she does from time to time, she still cares about me. At least I know that much. I sometimes feel like I'm letting her down by not doing the things she asks of me. The fact that she gets upset and disappointed when I don't doesn't exactly help. I have tried to do these things before, but I get nervous and stumble over my words. I don't expect her to be alright within a short period of time and I'm prepared to stand by her as long as I can. Are you sure that being me is enough? Sometimes it seems as though she wants more than that...

[JamesSuperBoy]

I really appreciate your kind words. I really do. I know that she's told me before that despite what she does from time to time, she still cares about me. At least I know that much. I sometimes feel like I'm letting her down by not doing the things she asks of me. The fact that she gets upset and disappointed when I don't doesn't exactly help. I have tried to do these things before, but I get nervous and stumble over my words. I don't expect her to be alright within a short period of time and I'm prepared to stand by her as long as I can. Are you sure that being me is enough? Sometimes it seems as though she wants more than that...

Hey bro - you are not responsible for how she or anyone else is - feels or behaves. You are right to care and right to refuse anything if that is how you feel.

[Harley Quinn]

I really appreciate your kind words. I really do. I know that she's told me before that despite what she does from time to time, she still cares about me. At least I know that much. I sometimes feel like I'm letting her down by not doing the things she asks of me. The fact that she gets upset and disappointed when I don't doesn't exactly help. I have tried to do these things before, but I get nervous and stumble over my words. I don't expect her to be alright within a short period of time and I'm prepared to stand by her as long as I can. Are you sure that being me is enough? Sometimes it seems as though she wants more than that...

You're not letting her down at all, sometimes there are going to be things that you are unable to do and that isn't your fault. I know she gets upset and things but, you cannot let that effect you mentally. Being you is always enough, never ever change yourself. If you do that you just end up changing everything about you as a person and that is never good. Live up to your expectations, not anyone else's because at the end of it all, you only have yourself when things go wrong. If she wants more from you, you need to talk to her and I know it may be hard but sometimes things out in the open are better than them not being. Don't force yourself to do something, do it because you genuinely want to do it, you know?

[judgeofsin]

She's said that I've let her down and disappointed her a few times before. It's not something I mean to do as you can imagine. I realize now, thanks to you reminding me and me thinking about this on my own, that I have to be myself and do what I'm comfortable with. No matter what. I need to keep myself in mind at all times. I tried to do what she asked of me, even though I was feeling nervous. That was probably a mistake. I just didn't want her thinking that I would never do anything for her if she asked.

[Were]

just try to do those things that she wants you to do,she could be testing you to see if you are the right friend that will be there for her in her worst