spw184
August 17th, 2013, 09:00 PM
First off, this post probably isn't what you expect... It's a... "unique" situation. If you are offended by illegal or illicit activities including but not limited to underage sex, drug use, RX abuse, or theft, please don't read this. This may be triggering? Im not really sure but im sure it will be for someone. I IN NO WAY ENDORSE OR CONDONE DRUG USE OR ANY OF THE ACTIVITIES STATED IN THIS POST. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ THE INTRO, SCROLL DOWN
This is a long, long story, so I will try to make it short. Freshman year of highschool (Im a senior now) I met a guy who we will call "Bob". Bob turned out to be bi, I was gay, we hooked up. A lot. Bob didn't want a relationship, but I fell in love with him. I chased him away by being too clingy. I continued texting him, all the time, to see if he would respond. He didn't give me closure, he just shut me out. When he would respond, it was a positive uplifting message, which created a cycle of me having hope and than promptly having it crushed.
After a while, I tried to replace him, first with other sexual partners. Not knowing anybody else, I started looking on sites like craigslist and grindr. Soon I was hooking up with guys on a regular basis 3x my age. This eventually became a source of income, accepting "Gifts" from these men. I continued texting him, The plan didn't work.
Next I tried drugs. It started with pot, moved on to tobacco, than RX drugs and alcohol. I never got caught, however, again, I came to my senses and realized this was doing me no good. I cut all the habits, however I still occasionally do pot and tobacco products, however I am not addicted (Yes, I know they all say that but I smoke pot apx. Once a month and have a cig apx. Once every 2 weeks.
Than, he had enough. Long story short, my fried who was using him as an anon counsler under the name of annie somehow connected herself to me leading bob to believe that I was Annie. He told me he was calling the police for harassment (Which he never did, nor had no ground for legally; I looked) and than threatened to beat me up if he ever saw me or if I ever talked to him again.
I backed off, at first it was shattering, I continued with my bad habits. Than,, by some devine intervention, I decided to say **** you and get my life together. I got a new look, a new additute, and a different outlook on life. I went from being skinny nerdy gay boy to the popular kid at my highschool. My self confidence, esteem, and trust went up. I took charge of everything. I was still attached to him, and got my friends to keep tabs. Slowly, I got over him.
----------SKIP HERE IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THE INTRO----
So, long story short, I was super clingy and he HATES me, but im a 10,00000000% better, edgier, more attractive person. Also, I feel it important to note that he is a smoker, a partier, and went to rehab once. So here's where the problem starts. My friend... "Shelly" just went on to college and got her own place. Well, me and my friend... "Lilly".... go to her apartment and guess whos rolling up into the parking lot.... Bob.
We both look at each other, and I have a sudden burst of confidence, I strut into the apartment and close the door.... and promptly have the worst panic attack of my life. My friend Shelly gave me some water and a cig, we went outside. I smoked it in a fraction of a minute, and finished it as bob and his friends were walking towards us. My body went numb and refused to function (A after effect of my panic attacks if I come down too quickly) I stumbled to the door and got in, trying to maintain my façade of confidence. I collapsed on the bed and passed out. About 20 minutes later, I wake up to shelly, lilly, and shelly's boyfriend on the bed with me petting her cat (Its a studio) Than the depression comes. After about an hour and a half of crying (I hadn't seen him for over a year and all my feelings came back at once) I stopped.... and than the anger came. We walked back outside, and furiously walked around the block. We got back, and when we came back bob walked past our window... and bob slowly shifted towards it, Peaking in to see if it was me. Lilly and I decided he was trying to get me emotional over him again, so I "Made out" with shelly's boyfriend. From that moment on, Lilly and I made an effort to be confident, strong, and as best as we could be.
This was a one time occurrence right? Nope, today after leaving to go shopping, we come back and hes driving right up again with the same guy, I ignore him. Later, I leave Shelly's apartment and hear him and his friends voices drop to a whisper, as I, standing tall, walk home.
So, here is the question, What should I do to make the most of this. I WILL be at shelly's a lot, regardless. If I am to encounter bob on a regular basis, I want payback. I need to show him that I am better off without him, I want him to feel as though he missed out on the best opportunity of his life.
Also, what do I do if he approaches me? Talks to me? Im liable to either start crying uncontrollably, or beating him up.
I need a gameplan guys, and who knows advice better?
This is a long, long story, so I will try to make it short. Freshman year of highschool (Im a senior now) I met a guy who we will call "Bob". Bob turned out to be bi, I was gay, we hooked up. A lot. Bob didn't want a relationship, but I fell in love with him. I chased him away by being too clingy. I continued texting him, all the time, to see if he would respond. He didn't give me closure, he just shut me out. When he would respond, it was a positive uplifting message, which created a cycle of me having hope and than promptly having it crushed.
After a while, I tried to replace him, first with other sexual partners. Not knowing anybody else, I started looking on sites like craigslist and grindr. Soon I was hooking up with guys on a regular basis 3x my age. This eventually became a source of income, accepting "Gifts" from these men. I continued texting him, The plan didn't work.
Next I tried drugs. It started with pot, moved on to tobacco, than RX drugs and alcohol. I never got caught, however, again, I came to my senses and realized this was doing me no good. I cut all the habits, however I still occasionally do pot and tobacco products, however I am not addicted (Yes, I know they all say that but I smoke pot apx. Once a month and have a cig apx. Once every 2 weeks.
Than, he had enough. Long story short, my fried who was using him as an anon counsler under the name of annie somehow connected herself to me leading bob to believe that I was Annie. He told me he was calling the police for harassment (Which he never did, nor had no ground for legally; I looked) and than threatened to beat me up if he ever saw me or if I ever talked to him again.
I backed off, at first it was shattering, I continued with my bad habits. Than,, by some devine intervention, I decided to say **** you and get my life together. I got a new look, a new additute, and a different outlook on life. I went from being skinny nerdy gay boy to the popular kid at my highschool. My self confidence, esteem, and trust went up. I took charge of everything. I was still attached to him, and got my friends to keep tabs. Slowly, I got over him.
----------SKIP HERE IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THE INTRO----
So, long story short, I was super clingy and he HATES me, but im a 10,00000000% better, edgier, more attractive person. Also, I feel it important to note that he is a smoker, a partier, and went to rehab once. So here's where the problem starts. My friend... "Shelly" just went on to college and got her own place. Well, me and my friend... "Lilly".... go to her apartment and guess whos rolling up into the parking lot.... Bob.
We both look at each other, and I have a sudden burst of confidence, I strut into the apartment and close the door.... and promptly have the worst panic attack of my life. My friend Shelly gave me some water and a cig, we went outside. I smoked it in a fraction of a minute, and finished it as bob and his friends were walking towards us. My body went numb and refused to function (A after effect of my panic attacks if I come down too quickly) I stumbled to the door and got in, trying to maintain my façade of confidence. I collapsed on the bed and passed out. About 20 minutes later, I wake up to shelly, lilly, and shelly's boyfriend on the bed with me petting her cat (Its a studio) Than the depression comes. After about an hour and a half of crying (I hadn't seen him for over a year and all my feelings came back at once) I stopped.... and than the anger came. We walked back outside, and furiously walked around the block. We got back, and when we came back bob walked past our window... and bob slowly shifted towards it, Peaking in to see if it was me. Lilly and I decided he was trying to get me emotional over him again, so I "Made out" with shelly's boyfriend. From that moment on, Lilly and I made an effort to be confident, strong, and as best as we could be.
This was a one time occurrence right? Nope, today after leaving to go shopping, we come back and hes driving right up again with the same guy, I ignore him. Later, I leave Shelly's apartment and hear him and his friends voices drop to a whisper, as I, standing tall, walk home.
So, here is the question, What should I do to make the most of this. I WILL be at shelly's a lot, regardless. If I am to encounter bob on a regular basis, I want payback. I need to show him that I am better off without him, I want him to feel as though he missed out on the best opportunity of his life.
Also, what do I do if he approaches me? Talks to me? Im liable to either start crying uncontrollably, or beating him up.
I need a gameplan guys, and who knows advice better?