From Chris
August 16th, 2013, 10:29 PM
I'm going to try to explain this as best as possible but it might seem a little confusing.. Overall i'm very confused about my sexuality because i feel like i am sexually attracted to guys, yet girls at the same time. I know most people would consider that as "bi" but honestly i don't know.. A couple times in the past year i have considered myself gay or bi or between the both because if i see myself in any relationship with a guy or a girl, i feel like i would be closer with a guy. But in a way, i feel like depending on the person and circumstances then i could feel close with a girl too.. All of my life as a child i really only knew how to talk to girls and be friends with them.. The boys would call me gay for having a higher voice than them and thought i looked like a girl, so i just hung out with girls and became basically one of them in a way? I acted like a girl, i even played dress up with some of my neighbor friends who were girls and i had fun with it and had no idea that as i got older that it would mean something else.. Even though that just because that stuff happened i don't have to be gay or feminine in any way, i know that, but it's like.. During that time i went through that, i felt like i was attracted to other boys like a girl was. And to this day, i could see all the hot girls in the world and not be turned on or want to date them or whatever, i just look at them as friends. Ex. All the friends see a hot girl and are like, "I want to date her! She is so hot! blah blah blah.." And what's going through my mind is, she looks like a friend or just another person. I get the feeling for another guy when i see a hot guy. Guys are like, oh just another dude, but i really like them and think about what it would be like to date them! I feel like if i were to be in a relationship with a guy.. i would be the more feminine one for them to protect me in a way? Sort of how like (This is somewhat stereotypical in a way) a guy would protect a girl and make her feel safe and what not. And i don't really know, i just feel confused.. And then when i think about even being gay then it worries me with how people will handle it and because i might be rejected or something like that.. Even though i know for a fact my family would still accept me because my parents literally sat my entire family down and said if any of us were gay or lesbian (I have 3 sisters) then it would be fully alright and they will always love us. So that makes things a little easier already, but i'm afraid that because i feel so alone sometimes that i won't be able to find someone that will like me for being gay.. So i don't know if i am gay or bi or straight and all the above! I'm just confused and really really need some people to help me. :( Sorry for this being so long.. :x