DaveIsaiah
August 16th, 2013, 12:30 PM
I've known I was gay since the day I even thought about the word attractive. I am 13 years old but that year I was only of 7 years. My world took a turn of confusion because I knew that being gay was "wrong". After a while I started to push that thought away from my mind and began trying to change myself. I stopped looking at guys, and tried to look at women, however there was that one thing missing. I wasn't feeling women, here the word feel means "in to". Years passed on, and I finally realized that it wasn't working and because we gays aren't socially accepted I was starting to think about an easy way out. Maybe I could OD or hang myself, right? Wrong! After months and months of thinking of the word "Suicide" I threw that thought away and began to think of the word "Strong." If I killed myself, I would've been giving in to this social world and not showing them that I'm strong enough to fight back. It was then that I decided to have pride and to believe in myself. June marks the month that I told my uncle, cousin, and three friends and July marks the month I told my other cousin, grandfather, grandmother, other two uncles, aunt, and my parents. So far I'm doing good with the exception of one problem.
My problem:
Recently I met this boy named Ulises, pronounced ( You - li - sees ) at church camp. At first sight I've felt for him like nobody else has ever made me felt. I've gotten to know him and now I really like him. I've spoken to my parents and they forbid me to date a guy at 13 even though they've accepted that I was gay.
My story with Ulises:
It all started two years ago. I met this boy at my aunts house named Ese, pronounced (ee -s). He was my cousins step uncle through marriage, yet he was only 12 (I was 11). I can't remember if I liked him though I do remember being very shy around him. Two years later on July 16th, 2013, the night after the start of the church camp, I saw a boy walking on stage that looked familiar. The only name I could put to his face was Ese for some odd reason. I asked my cousin through text message : Is Ese at camp.
She later replied : I'm not sure? Why, you've seen him?
I then found out from overhearing conversations that his name was Ulises. So I texted my cousin again : Is his real name Ulises?
She replied in seconds : Yes
I got excited. The last day at camp arrived and I find out his mom is driving us home. Funny right? This meant he lived near me and I knew Ese lived near me. Two days later, I had missionaries through church for hurricane sandy relief. Notice: Ese does not go to my church. He goes to a different one.
I dreaded this day for the two days I had a break but when I got to the church the day of the mission start I grew excited when I saw that Ese had came. Coincidence?! My cousin introduced us to each other, we bonded and beccame friends instantly. Through the days I started to realize that he always wanted to be in my hotel room, take note that I was his only friend in my room. Yes he had other friends in camp, in fact many. But he chose to come to my room every night to joke around. Two days after the start we went to the beach. Before hand we had gone to McDonalds. He sat at my table with me alone so we could talk. At the beach he kept trying to get me into the waves.
He'd say : Come in Dave.
I'd say : Why?
: Cause it's fun.
: I don't really like going into the ocean. The salt usually burns
: C'mon dude.
:How are you going to beg me but you haven't even gone in.
After I said this he jumped into the water in like a minute. I felt like being alone so I just sat and watched. My cousin saw that I looked depressed and she called me over. We talked and later my feet got wet so the pastor's wife said:
Well you might as well go in now.
I blushed and jumped on in. After being trampled by waves with ese and his friends we went to the hoses to hose off sand. Before heading off of the board walk I found ese tying his shoes on a bench. He told me to wait up so I did. The scene was perfect: sunset in the background. He said to me as we were the only ones there:
Ese: David...
Me: Yeah?
Ese: Your gay.
Startled and shocked I said
Me: Why do you think that?
Ese: You're gay.
Me : No I'm not.
Ese: Yes you are
Me: No
Ese: I bet you five bucks you are.
Me: I bet you I'm not
Having thought he was joking I watched his face throughout that small one worded conversation and his face was serious. The day after I felt depressed for some odd reason so I just stayed in my shell. All day he'd ask me why i wasn't talking.
The night of the beach was the first night I've ever had a dream that I saw myself being in a relationship with anyone. And the main character was Ese.
What do I do?
With my parents & with Ese. I don't even know if he's gay. What do I do?
My problem:
Recently I met this boy named Ulises, pronounced ( You - li - sees ) at church camp. At first sight I've felt for him like nobody else has ever made me felt. I've gotten to know him and now I really like him. I've spoken to my parents and they forbid me to date a guy at 13 even though they've accepted that I was gay.
My story with Ulises:
It all started two years ago. I met this boy at my aunts house named Ese, pronounced (ee -s). He was my cousins step uncle through marriage, yet he was only 12 (I was 11). I can't remember if I liked him though I do remember being very shy around him. Two years later on July 16th, 2013, the night after the start of the church camp, I saw a boy walking on stage that looked familiar. The only name I could put to his face was Ese for some odd reason. I asked my cousin through text message : Is Ese at camp.
She later replied : I'm not sure? Why, you've seen him?
I then found out from overhearing conversations that his name was Ulises. So I texted my cousin again : Is his real name Ulises?
She replied in seconds : Yes
I got excited. The last day at camp arrived and I find out his mom is driving us home. Funny right? This meant he lived near me and I knew Ese lived near me. Two days later, I had missionaries through church for hurricane sandy relief. Notice: Ese does not go to my church. He goes to a different one.
I dreaded this day for the two days I had a break but when I got to the church the day of the mission start I grew excited when I saw that Ese had came. Coincidence?! My cousin introduced us to each other, we bonded and beccame friends instantly. Through the days I started to realize that he always wanted to be in my hotel room, take note that I was his only friend in my room. Yes he had other friends in camp, in fact many. But he chose to come to my room every night to joke around. Two days after the start we went to the beach. Before hand we had gone to McDonalds. He sat at my table with me alone so we could talk. At the beach he kept trying to get me into the waves.
He'd say : Come in Dave.
I'd say : Why?
: Cause it's fun.
: I don't really like going into the ocean. The salt usually burns
: C'mon dude.
:How are you going to beg me but you haven't even gone in.
After I said this he jumped into the water in like a minute. I felt like being alone so I just sat and watched. My cousin saw that I looked depressed and she called me over. We talked and later my feet got wet so the pastor's wife said:
Well you might as well go in now.
I blushed and jumped on in. After being trampled by waves with ese and his friends we went to the hoses to hose off sand. Before heading off of the board walk I found ese tying his shoes on a bench. He told me to wait up so I did. The scene was perfect: sunset in the background. He said to me as we were the only ones there:
Ese: David...
Me: Yeah?
Ese: Your gay.
Startled and shocked I said
Me: Why do you think that?
Ese: You're gay.
Me : No I'm not.
Ese: Yes you are
Me: No
Ese: I bet you five bucks you are.
Me: I bet you I'm not
Having thought he was joking I watched his face throughout that small one worded conversation and his face was serious. The day after I felt depressed for some odd reason so I just stayed in my shell. All day he'd ask me why i wasn't talking.
The night of the beach was the first night I've ever had a dream that I saw myself being in a relationship with anyone. And the main character was Ese.
What do I do?
With my parents & with Ese. I don't even know if he's gay. What do I do?