Girl/boy input needed, long story bare with me, need advice HELP please

[breakingbad27]

I hope to actually get some more feedback/good advice this time. =] thank you. I am in 8th grade by the way and i am NOT in 7th.

6th grade in my school was great for me ( i am in the 8th grade right now ). I was popular, had many chicks flirt with me ( by the way even though we were in 6th we were respected and treated by students and teachers like if we were in 10th, leading to the fact why you might think " these kids were really young to have relationship problems etc....), i felt like one of the superiors, respected more than others. . I wasn't apart of the " it crowd ", i was most of the " it crowd " sometimes in my opinion. At one point i had a good crush on two girls ( i will call them cathy and amy ). Amy is the one that i knew the longest, we have many things in common and we could always make each other laugh with our raunchy and sarcastic humor, we also are very tuff and we didnt back down. Amy was also one of the most sexiest girls in the school. When she figured out that i was paying a little bit more attention to kathy her jealousy came along and she tried to convince me to not follow my feelings and she also made innuendos to see if i like her. Cathy was a tuff and funny and sexy girl too and both of their traits is what i am into. But the fact that cathy was a little more tuff at times made me pay attention to her and obsess over my crush for her more, which eventually leading to the fact that after i figured out that she was not ready to start a relationship amy moved on. But starting in the begining of 7th grade i was in depression ( still am from time to time ) this was mostly cause my family issues, anxiety/fear, etc. And i guess the era had abruptly ended and that caused more depression.
I have decided that i want to make a new era/empire again by starting to get healthy and get more in shape/ gain more self confidence ( i think of myself as an attractive guy and i just want to bring back the best of my traits again ) and try to rekindle my popular friends and the women that i didnt sucessfully start a relationship with. i just want to be happy again and relaxed, and i want to be closer to god. I wanted to know how can i accomplish all of these things ( i need motivation !!! ) and how can i start a relationship with one of those women one day ? Also what did i do wrong with these girls and what do you think of them from what you have read ? Who do you think is a better fit/ who do you think is more interested in me ?

Tell me everthing you think including these questions. I would be very great full if you give me your input. i am looking forward to seeing a woman and mans point of view.

P.S this " popular " group always had your back and cared what you felt in some way some how

[Camazotz]

I hope to actually get some more feedback/good advice this time. =] thank you. I am in 8th grade by the way and i am NOT in 7th.

6th grade in my school was great for me ( i am in the 8th grade right now ). I was popular, had many chicks flirt with me ( by the way even though we were in 6th we were respected and treated by students and teachers like if we were in 10th, leading to the fact why you might think " these kids were really young to have relationship problems etc....), i felt like one of the superiors, respected more than others. At the end of the day it was great and many people including myself have probably thought of it as the era of sean ( i am using an alias instead of my real name to keep my identity hidden). I wasn't apart of the " it crowd ", i was most of the " it crowd " sometimes in my opinion. At one point i had a good crush on two girls ( i will call them cathy and amy ). Amy is the one that i knew the longest, we have many things in common and we could always make each other laugh with our raunchy and sarcastic humor, we also are very tuff and we didnt back down. Amy was also one of the most sexiest girls in the school. When she figured out that i was paying a little bit more attention to kathy her jealousy came along and she tried to convince me to not follow my feelings and she also made innuendos to see if i like her. Cathy was a tuff and funny and sexy girl too and both of their traits is what i am into. But the fact that cathy was a little more tuff at times made me pay attention to her and obsess over my crush for her more, which eventually leading to the fact that after i figured out that she was not ready to start a relationship amy moved on. But starting in the begining of 7th grade i was in depression ( still am from time to time ) this was mostly cause my family issues, anxiety/fear, etc. And i guess the era had abruptly ended and that caused more depression.
I have decided that i want to make a new era/empire again by starting to get healthy and get more in shape/ gain more self confidence ( i think of myself as an attractive guy and i just want to bring back the best of my traits again ) and try to rekindle my popular friends and the women that i didnt sucessfully start a relationship with. i just want to be happy again and relaxed, and i want to be closer to god. I wanted to know how can i accomplish all of these things ( i need motivation !!! ) and how can i start a relationship with one of those women one day ? Also what did i do wrong with these girls and what do you think of them from what you have read ? Who do you think is a better fit/ who do you think is more interested in me ?

Tell me everthing you think including these questions. I would be very great full if you give me your input. i am looking forward to seeing a woman and mans point of view.

P.S this " popular " group always had your back and cared what you felt in some way some how

You probably shouldn't refer to yourself as "an era" or "an empire." Even if it's on the computer, it gives the impression that you're very egocentric and that you don't care very much about others. For example, the only simple traits that you list for Amy is that she's "funny, tough, has similar interests, and sexy." It seems like you're too focused on being popular and accepted rather than focusing on making yourself healthy and happy.

My advice is to get back into the swing of things by making sure you're physically and mentally healthy, start conversing with your friends again and hanging out with them more often, and continue talking with Amy and Cathy. Find out which one you feel more comfortable with and ask them out when you feel ready.

[breakingbad27]

[QUOTE=Camazotz;2451496]You probably shouldn't refer to yourself as "an era" or "an empire." Even if it's on the computer, it gives the impression that you're very egocentric and that you don't care very much about others. For example, the only simple traits that you list for Amy is that she's "funny, tough, has similar interests, and sexy." It seems like you're too focused on being popular and accepted rather than focusing on making yourself healthy and happy.


you could of just skipped all of that bull and just skip to your last paragraph

[Meganium]

You could of just skipped all of that bull and just skip to your last paragraph

Umm...that wasn't exactly bull. In fact I'd say it was pretty accurate. That's an impression you don't want to regain, especially as you and your peers mature to find that they have no interest in that kind of thing.

If restarting this "era" is your motivation to bring yourself together, then it's not a very good, as it won't help your person, and it can easily negate any changes you may make to return to that position.

Popularity is utter bullshit whether you believe it or not. Whether for good reasons or bad, it's no reason to want to make yourself a better person, because in the end, you will just become disappointed. The odds of getting a good, legitimate friend or girlfriend as a result of that are slim to none.

[suicidalbutter]

you can't be helped if you aren't willing to listen to others advice, kiddo. none of that was bull, you do give off that you are egocentric and more worried about maintaining popularity. You should work on not caring so much about making yourself popular and work more on your health mentally and physically. Amy seems like she was more into you if she got jealous of you gawking over another girl. Girls don't wait forever, though.

[breakingbad27]

you can't be helped if you aren't willing to listen to others advice, kiddo. none of that was bull, you do give off that you are egocentric and more worried about maintaining popularity. You should work on not caring so much about making yourself popular and work more on your health mentally and physically. Amy seems like she was more into you if she got jealous of you gawking over another girl. Girls don't wait forever, though.

You have never felt the power.... when you have the world on a string and that string is cut all of a sudden it is truly devastating and that devastation is hard to run from. Whats even harder is knowing that it is likely that during your next upcoming years in school that you might never have a gf or be the person you wanted to be or even be truly happy with your self and another person. i have not alot to look forward to because of all these things and many more. but i still get by some how while writing this i just wish for that life back. you might have not read my other posts and i wrote about how i took two of my aunts cigarettes so she isnt tempted to smoke them during her hard times. Ever since then i know it might sound stupid, but i leave them in a secret place and think in my head that " when everything gets better and you are happy, great life, maybe a girlfriend that you can smoke or throw away those cigarettes to symbolize the fact that those bad times are over and you dont have to have anxiety and fear ". and every since i saw your message i am rethinking everything and wondering if this wont get better. i dont want pity, i want help and sucess in my life.

[breakingbad27]

You probably shouldn't refer to yourself as "an era" or "an empire." Even if it's on the computer, it gives the impression that you're very egocentric and that you don't care very much about others. For example, the only simple traits that you list for Amy is that she's "funny, tough, has similar interests, and sexy." It seems like you're too focused on being popular and accepted rather than focusing on making yourself healthy and happy.

My advice is to get back into the swing of things by making sure you're physically and mentally healthy, start conversing with your friends again and hanging out with them more often, and continue talking with Amy and Cathy. Find out which one you feel more comfortable with and ask them out when you feel ready.

i care very much about others and i was raised to do so because it is the right thing to do and i have a special needs brother. by the way Amy was all of those things that i said and i meant it. but you never saw the moments of happyness and connecting that we had, same thing with cathy too.

[suicidalbutter]

Nor do I want to feel this power, it sounds horrible if it makes you feel like you HAVE to have it. You sound as if you were some rich guy running some important business and then suddenly went bankrupt, and now you can't function with the middle class people because you have no idea how to spread your wings and learn to fly from the ground up. Kid, being popular isn't everything. Try making new friends, don't worry about those other kids you used to hangout with. If they don't want to hangout with you anymore, were they ever really your friends? It doesn't sound like it to me. If you try to make new friends instead of dwelling on past friends, life will turn around and get better. You'll go to high school and make tons of friends. You'll find a girl you like in high school, and you'll be alright. Don't worry about it right now. You are only in middle school, you shouldn't be overthinking relationships. You should be doing school work and living life to it's fullest with friends, old or new.

And I saw your other post. Throw the cigs away, don't start smoking. Nothing but huge health problems down the road come from smoking.

[Camazotz]

i care very much about others and i was raised to do so because it is the right thing to do and i have a special needs brother. by the way Amy was all of those things that i said and i meant it. but you never saw the moments of happyness and connecting that we had, same thing with cathy too.

That's great, then you should try to rekindle your friendship by starting to talk to them again and retry your friendships with them. My original post wasn't intended to offend you, I was trying to explain that acting like you're "on top of the world" asserts dominance over others, which is not the kind of friendships/relationships you want to have.

Friends are equal; no one person is the "emperor" or "king." Those kinds of people dominate conversations and make others feel left out, and that's how I perceived your idea of "tough." People that try to make everything (like conversations) about themselves tend to repel others because it's just plain annoying. Perhaps that was a reason why some of your friends started ignore you, so I'm just trying to help you understand, so maybe you can change.

Your "power" of being popular sounds like an addiction- the walls of your empire came crumbling down. That's just unhealthy. Your concerns shouldn't be about having tons of friends or having at least one girlfriend this year. You're only 14/15, those things really aren't that important. Again, right now, you need to worry about your mental health and make sure you're not influenced to make bad choices (throw those cigarettes away). You need to take care of yourself, and if you just be yourself, friends will eventually come- friends that won't abandon you.

I agree exactly with what Raych said.

[breakingbad27]

That's great, then you should try to rekindle your friendship by starting to talk to them again and retry your friendships with them. My original post wasn't intended to offend you, I was trying to explain that acting like you're "on top of the world" asserts dominance over others, which is not the kind of friendships/relationships you want to have.

Friends are equal; no one person is the "emperor" or "king." Those kinds of people dominate conversations and make others feel left out, and that's how I perceived your idea of "tough." People that try to make everything (like conversations) about themselves tend to repel others because it's just plain annoying. Perhaps that was a reason why some of your friends started ignore you, so I'm just trying to help you understand, so maybe you can change.

Your "power" of being popular sounds like an addiction- the walls of your empire came crumbling down. That's just unhealthy. Your concerns shouldn't be about having tons of friends or having at least one girlfriend this year. You're only 14/15, those things really aren't that important. Again, right now, you need to worry about your mental health and make sure you're not influenced to make bad choices (throw those cigarettes away). You need to take care of yourself, and if you just be yourself, friends will eventually come- friends that won't abandon you.

I agree exactly with what Raych said.

we were all kings and my empire didnt crumble its foundation was turned. And everything that i am wanting is important

[breakingbad27]

Nor do I want to feel this power, it sounds horrible if it makes you feel like you HAVE to have it. You sound as if you were some rich guy running some important business and then suddenly went bankrupt, and now you can't function with the middle class people because you have no idea how to spread your wings and learn to fly from the ground up. Kid, being popular isn't everything. Try making new friends, don't worry about those other kids you used to hangout with. If they don't want to hangout with you anymore, were they ever really your friends? It doesn't sound like it to me. If you try to make new friends instead of dwelling on past friends, life will turn around and get better. You'll go to high school and make tons of friends. You'll find a girl you like in high school, and you'll be alright. Don't worry about it right now. You are only in middle school, you shouldn't be overthinking relationships. You should be doing school work and living life to it's fullest with friends, old or new.

And I saw your other post. Throw the cigs away, don't start smoking. Nothing but huge health problems down the road come from smoking.

you dont know how to feels when you lost touch. everyone in my school wanted to pick my brain and talk to me. one example is at a town event all of the girls from the group came up to me so happy to see me and they were wanting to hang out. one of those girls even ran full speed to run up to me and hugged me. she even said SEAN !! wats up. it even hurts to look back on those ancient memories

[Camazotz]

we were all kings and my empire didnt crumble its foundation was turned. And everything that i am wanting is important

No, you think it's important. Trust me, five years from now, you'll agree that popularity in middle school is not important in the slightest. It will change nothing and affect nothing in your future. You're acting like being the popular kid is all that matters, like not winning Prom King would be the biggest tragedy in your life. Your priorities are way out of wack if you think being the popular kid and having a girlfriend are the most important things in your life.

you dont know how to feels when you lost touch. everyone in my school wanted to pick my brain and talk to me. one example is at a town event all of the girls from the group came up to me so happy to see me and they were wanting to hang out. one of those girls even ran full speed to run up to me and hugged me. she even said SEAN !! wats up. it even hurts to look back on those ancient memories

Girls talked to you, big woop. Those aren't things to obsess over, and they're not "ancient memories", those probably happened within the past couple years. I really don't think that you're thinking clearly.

[breakingbad27]

Nor do I want to feel this power, it sounds horrible if it makes you feel like you HAVE to have it. You sound as if you were some rich guy running some important business and then suddenly went bankrupt, and now you can't function with the middle class people because you have no idea how to spread your wings and learn to fly from the ground up. Kid, being popular isn't everything. Try making new friends, don't worry about those other kids you used to hangout with. If they don't want to hangout with you anymore, were they ever really your friends? It doesn't sound like it to me. If you try to make new friends instead of dwelling on past friends, life will turn around and get better. You'll go to high school and make tons of friends. You'll find a girl you like in high school, and you'll be alright. Don't worry about it right now. You are only in middle school, you shouldn't be overthinking relationships. You should be doing school work and living life to it's fullest with friends, old or new.

And I saw your other post. Throw the cigs away, don't start smoking. Nothing but huge health problems down the road come from smoking.

And should i really be listening to a guy who has suicidal its his username. i dont think you are thinking these responses with thought. your judgement and user is very upsetting and not thought out.

[breakingbad27]

No, you think it's important. Trust me, five years from now, you'll agree that popularity in middle school is not important in the slightest. It will change nothing and affect nothing in your future. You're acting like being the popular kid is all that matters, like not winning Prom King would be the biggest tragedy in your life. Your priorities are way out of wack if you think being the popular kid and having a girlfriend are the most important things in your life.



Girls talked to you, big woop. Those aren't things to obsess over, and they're not "ancient memories", those probably happened within the past couple years. I really don't think that you're thinking clearly.

this happened in 2013 actually please i dont want to hear your opinion anymore

[breakingbad27]

I dont want to hear anymore opinions

[Camazotz]

And should i really be listening to a guy who has suicidal its his username. i dont think you are thinking these responses with thought. your judgement and user is very upsetting and not thought out.

It's only a name, relax, there's no reason to pull an 'ad hominem' to someone that's only looking to help you. Besides, she's not a he.

this happened in 2013 actually please i dont want to hear your opinion anymore

Like I said, it's not "ancient memories", it happened within the past few months; you're over-exaggerating.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, and I'll refrain from giving more advice, but I highly doubt that anyone else is going to want to help you with the way you're treating Raych and me. We're trying to help you understand that your priorities are messed up and that you'll have an easier time making friends by being mature, but instead you're attacking us and you're not willing to look at yourself honestly.

I sincerely hope that you can come back and read these posts with a cool head in the future, and realize what we're saying is only here to help. And hopefully by then, you'll have made friends that actually care about you, and your life won't be filled with meaningless things like popularity contests.

Good luck, and have a fine day, sir.

[DerBear]

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