Increase in cutting

[Kaytlin]

I've recently been trying to think to stop cutting but I always seem to end up cutting more and not even worry if I'm getting the blood everywhere. I wanna try to stop, how can I even try.

[suicidalbutter]

this all depends on how many times a week you cut.
try stopping for one day. if you can make it through one day try going for a couple days. then try a week. and then try a month. if you fail to not be able to get through a day, then start over and try again the next day. if you fail to not be able to get through a couple days start over and try another couple of days. same with the week and trying for a month. i call this a sort of weening yourself away from cutting.

[uglyinsideandout]

I do the same thing. The more I need to stop the more I do it. And I'll make a deal with myself to just do a little bit and then before I know it I'm doing as much or more than ever. And I really really have to stop this time and I don't know how I can. :(

[Kaytlin]

this all depends on how many times a week you cut.
try stopping for one day. if you can make it through one day try going for a couple days. then try a week. and then try a month. if you fail to not be able to get through a day, then start over and try again the next day. if you fail to not be able to get through a couple days start over and try another couple of days. same with the week and trying for a month. i call this a sort of weening yourself away from cutting.
I've tried but I've been getting to the point that I cut up to as of right now 6 times with in that day, I don't even feel able to try to pull myself away.
I do the same thing. The more I need to stop the more I do it. And I'll make a deal with myself to just do a little bit and then before I know it I'm doing as much or more than ever. And I really really have to stop this time and I don't know how I can. :(
Thanks, at least I know someone else is having trouble.

[Harley Quinn]

Distractions. Distractions. Distractions. They're the key to anything when it comes to wanting to stop things. You need to replace self harm with something more productive or even less harmful, for example get an elastic band and every time you want to hurt yourself, flick it. Yeah it kills like a bitch, but it helps. Ice is also an effective method, squeeze it, hold it, put it on areas you'd self harm. Running is good, you take all the energy you have and you run it out/exercise it out. You'll release the same endorphins you would as when you self harm and 9/10 times you'll just want to sleep. Hot candle wax is good, it doesn't do damage and it's like the ice thing only hot instead of cold. Basically what I'm getting at is distractions are key here.

[Kaytlin]

Distractions. Distractions. Distractions. They're the key to anything when it comes to wanting to stop things. You need to replace self harm with something more productive or even less harmful, for example get an elastic band and every time you want to hurt yourself, flick it. Yeah it kills like a bitch, but it helps. Ice is also an effective method, squeeze it, hold it, put it on areas you'd self harm. Running is good, you take all the energy you have and you run it out/exercise it out. You'll release the same endorphins you would as when you self harm and 9/10 times you'll just want to sleep. Hot candle wax is good, it doesn't do damage and it's like the ice thing only hot instead of cold. Basically what I'm getting at is distractions are key here.

Thank you.
A lot, I need to try my best. Which lately seems like my worst.

[1_21Guns]

If you want to stop then you can, just just really really need to want to stop, it's a battle with yourself which makes it a much harder fight because you know how to make yourself give in, Siobhan gave some good distraction tips, things like the butterfly project (http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/) (which helped me) and just drawing on your arm with red markers also helps :)
Don't feel like your best isn't good enough, the fact your trying shows enough of your strength, losing one battle isn't the end of the war, keep fighting, you'll do it :hug3:

[Kaytlin]

If you want to stop then you can, just just really really need to want to stop, it's a battle with yourself which makes it a much harder fight because you know how to make yourself give in, Siobhan gave some good distraction tips, things like the butterfly project (http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/) (which helped me) and just drawing on your arm with red markers also helps :)
Don't feel like your best isn't good enough, the fact your trying shows enough of your strength, losing one battle isn't the end of the war, keep fighting, you'll do it :hug3:

Thank you, just that it's been way more then just one battle lost it's hard to keep going.

[1_21Guns]

Thank you, just that it's been way more then just one battle lost it's hard to keep going.

you'll win one eventually love, just one day cut free is a won battle, I know it's exhausting I really do, but it's not impossible

[Kaytlin]

you'll win one eventually love, just one day cut free is a won battle, I know it's exhausting I really do, but it's not impossible

One day, I've not been able to even do that yet. I'll try...

[1_21Guns]

One day, I've not been able to even do that yet. I'll try...

You'll get there, try the butterfly project, it helped me so much, or there's TWLOHA, where you write love on your wrist (I now have that tattoo'd) to remind to you keep going, that first day is a huge step, it really is, don't feel like a failure because you can't make one day because that first day is the hardest step, you're stronger than this :hug3:

[Kaytlin]

You'll get there, try the butterfly project, it helped me so much, or there's TWLOHA, where you write love on your wrist (I now have that tattoo'd) to remind to you keep going, that first day is a huge step, it really is, don't feel like a failure because you can't make one day because that first day is the hardest step, you're stronger than this :hug3:

I'll get out permanent markers.
...
Thank you, so much.

You'll get there, try the butterfly project, it helped me so much, or there's TWLOHA, where you write love on your wrist (I now have that tattoo'd) to remind to you keep going, that first day is a huge step, it really is, don't feel like a failure because you can't make one day because that first day is the hardest step, you're stronger than this :hug3:

I ended up cutting.
I'm starting to feel useless compared to the others who do the butterfly project.

[1_21Guns]

I ended up cutting.
I'm starting to feel useless compared to the others who do the butterfly project.

No love, everyone slips up, it's really hard at first and it doesn't make you a failure to slip up, keep trying :)

[Kaytlin]

No love, everyone slips up, it's really hard at first and it doesn't make you a failure to slip up, keep trying :)

I've feel like I've been at this forever.
On top of that my mom's sister got assorted toiletries for me and I noticed she bought razors and replacement blades for me and she ended up thinking the sort of shocked look I had was because I didn't know what to use them for. If there is a hell I think I've fallen into it.

[1_21Guns]

I've feel like I've been at this forever.
On top of that my mom's sister got assorted toiletries for me and I noticed she bought razors and replacement blades for me and she ended up thinking the sort of shocked look I had was because I didn't know what to use them for. If there is a hell I think I've fallen into it.

it's okay, it ends eventually, I remember feeling like I was stuck in a black hole, not too long ago to be entirely honest with you, but there is light eventually the darkness doesn't go on forever. You're strong enough to climb back of of your hell, those blades are for shaving and you know that, not harming your beautiful body, keep going love :hug3:

[Kaytlin]

it's okay, it ends eventually, I remember feeling like I was stuck in a black hole, not too long ago to be entirely honest with you, but there is light eventually the darkness doesn't go on forever. You're strong enough to climb back of of your hell, those blades are for shaving and you know that, not harming your beautiful body, keep going love :hug3:

I just want the light now, I don't want to wait.
I'm to much of a wreak to be beautiful at all.

[1_21Guns]

I just want the light now, I don't want to wait.
I'm to much of a wreak to be beautiful at all.

I think you're beautiful, I know when you're waiting it to end it can feel like a million times longer but waiting is all you can do, things have to turn around eventually and they will you just have to keep holding on and I know you can :hug3:

[Kaytlin]

I think you're beautiful, I know when you're waiting it to end it can feel like a million times longer but waiting is all you can do, things have to turn around eventually and they will you just have to keep holding on and I know you can :hug3:

Thanks, I just don't think the gash from my cheek to my chest fits that.
Stupid waiting...

[1_21Guns]

Thanks, I just don't think the gash from my cheek to my chest fits that.
Stupid waiting...

your battle wounds don't make you any less beautiful than anyone else love, keep your head up

[Kaytlin]

your battle wounds don't make you any less beautiful than anyone else love, keep your head up

I'll try my best.

[1_21Guns]

I'll try my best.

let me know how it goes love :hug3:

[Kaytlin]

let me know how it goes love :hug3:

My mom's sister saw my butterflies on my arm and told me to wash them off and never do stupid things like that again. So much for this being a better environment for me.

[Castle of Glass]

My mom's sister saw my butterflies on my arm and told me to wash them off and never do stupid things like that again. So much for this being a better environment for me.

So, i know Natalie is helping you with this, but i just wanted to say that if your mom's sister said to wash them(hence killing the butterflies and names inside them), then she is quite frankly ignorant. Though the question is, does she know the real meaning of the butterflies? Stay strong. You can and will get through this :hug:

[Kaytlin]

So, i know Natalie is helping you with this, but i just wanted to say that if your mom's sister said to wash them(hence killing the butterflies and names inside them), then she is quite frankly ignorant. Though the question is, does she know the real meaning of the butterflies? Stay strong. You can and will get through this :hug:

I tried to tell her but she just kept saying to go wash them off.
They're all dead now.

[1_21Guns]

I tried to tell her but she just kept saying to go wash them off.
They're all dead now.

Hmm, that's a little annoying, maybe try doing it a different way that might not be so effective, but it could still work, maybe draw the butterflies on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere you'll see it most of the time, and if you cut you have to scribble through the butterfly too, I'm not sure, don't let this setback hit you too hard :hug3:

[suicidalbutter]

Instead of drawing them on your wrist, why don't you draw them on your hips? or your stomach? She wouldn't see them, therefore she wouldn't tell you to wash them off.

[Castle of Glass]

I tried to tell her but she just kept saying to go wash them off.
They're all dead now.

Also, because she saw them, i am guessing they were one your wrists? If they were, why not draw them on your hips, in a notebook that no one sees, or something?

[Kaytlin]

Hmm, that's a little annoying, maybe try doing it a different way that might not be so effective, but it could still work, maybe draw the butterflies on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere you'll see it most of the time, and if you cut you have to scribble through the butterfly too, I'm not sure, don't let this setback hit you too hard :hug3:
I could try that, still as the others said I could just put them on other spots or try to explain. After she stops bring it up as a bad thing, I think she's trying to help me look what ever pretty or cute or what ever is around here but I wanna just be left alone.

Instead of drawing them on your wrist, why don't you draw them on your hips? or your stomach? She wouldn't see them, therefore she wouldn't tell you to wash them off.

Also, because she saw them, i am guessing they were one your wrists? If they were, why not draw them on your hips, in a notebook that no one sees, or something?

I could try this.

[1_21Guns]

I could try that, still as the others said I could just put them on other spots or try to explain. After she stops bring it up as a bad thing, I think she's trying to help me look what ever pretty or cute or what ever is around here but I wanna just be left alone.





I could try this.

I really like the others suggestions, I think they'd work better than mine :)

[Kaytlin]

I really like the others suggestions, I think they'd work better than mine :)

I guess I can try.
Just watch her find a way to yell at me for it though.

[1_21Guns]

I guess I can try.
Just watch her find a way to yell at me for it though.

It's worth trying love

[Kaytlin]

It's worth trying love

Yeah, I just don't want to become who she wants me to be.

[1_21Guns]

Yeah, I just don't want to become who she wants me to be.

Then don't, you're your own person and nobody can take that away from you, they'll try but as long as you're true to yourself what other people try to do won't make a difference :hug3:

[Kaytlin]

Then don't, you're your own person and nobody can take that away from you, they'll try but as long as you're true to yourself what other people try to do won't make a difference :hug3:

The fact I moved in with like no clothes and I can't go out on my own and get something cheap kinda makes her jump on the problem.

[Castle of Glass]

The fact I moved in with like no clothes and I can't go out on my own and get something cheap kinda makes her jump on the problem.

Like Natalie said, be yourself. Yes it doesn't help that you can't get your own clothes and stuff, but you can always chose who you want to become.

And i thought of something when i was doing other stuff. Instead of just drawing butterflies, write in a notebook(keep it hidden of course) and dedicate each page to one butterfly, write the person's name on the top of the page and write why you care. If the butterfly dies, just rip the page out and burn it. but the ones that live, keep them in it.

[Kaytlin]

Like Natalie said, be yourself. Yes it doesn't help that you can't get your own clothes and stuff, but you can always chose who you want to become.

And i thought of something when i was doing other stuff. Instead of just drawing butterflies, write in a notebook(keep it hidden of course) and dedicate each page to one butterfly, write the person's name on the top of the page and write why you care. If the butterfly dies, just rip the page out and burn it. but the ones that live, keep them in it.

I should just burn off my arm, then even it our by doing the other.
Then I'd get rid of my cutting problem too.

[Castle of Glass]

I should just burn off my arm, then even it our by doing the other.
Then I'd get rid of my cutting problem too.

No. that will not solve anything.

[Kaytlin]

No. that will not solve anything.

Yes it will, I can't cut then

[uglyinsideandout]

Yes it will, I can't cut then

Don't be silly, there are plenty of places to cut.

[Kaytlin]

Don't be silly, there are plenty of places to cut.

I have to use my hands to hold the blade though.

[uglyinsideandout]

I have to use my hands to hold the blade though.

I'm not trying to encourage you to cut but I know I could cut without any hands. I had all my stuff taken away and I figured out how to still cut.

[Kaytlin]

I'm not trying to encourage you to cut but I know I could cut without any hands. I had all my stuff taken away and I figured out how to still cut.

I probably would find a way, but I've been given more stuff so that's not helping.

[HondaFreak45]

Honestly.. I'm probably not gonna be the best help. But I can try.
First you gotta figure out why are you cutting yourself?
Now once you figure that out try to decide if its worth it..
Next is distract yourself. Dont let yourself get close to anything sharp
Get a good friens/family member as kindnof a go to person when you feel like cutting.
Kinda like what I did witb buying scratch off tickets. I didn't go to a store with them sold inside.

I doubt I was much help... but sometimes knowing someone cares might make you feel better.
If you ever need help or someone to talk to do t hesitate to pm me.

-Terrence

[uglyinsideandout]

Honestly.. I'm probably not gonna be the best help. But I can try.
First you gotta figure out why are you cutting yourself?
Now once you figure that out try to decide if its worth it..
Next is distract yourself. Dont let yourself get close to anything sharp
Get a good friens/family member as kindnof a go to person when you feel like cutting.
Kinda like what I did witb buying scratch off tickets. I didn't go to a store with them sold inside.

I doubt I was much help... but sometimes knowing someone cares might make you feel better.
If you ever need help or someone to talk to do t hesitate to pm me.

-Terrence

It's nice that you're trying to help but things like figuring out why you cut and if it's worth it aren't really helpful. Sometimes it's hard to explain to someone else why you cut but if you cut you know why, it's not a mystery to you. And if you didn't think it was worth it you wouldn't be doing it.

I wrote alot more but deleted it becasue I don't want to imply it's not good you're trying to help, I just think you might be more helpful with a different approach.

I probably would find a way, but I've been given more stuff so that's not helping.

That's what I was trying to say. It wouldn't matter what you did or had done to you, if you want to hurt yourself you'll find a way. Ideas like cutting off limbs aren't realistic solutions both becasue it would be really hard to do and even if you could it wouldn't stop you. You could strap me to my bed and I'd just bite my tongue.

I know it's cliche and not helpful but the only one that can stop you is you. That's why I can't stop. I simply don't like myself enough to care what happens to me. I care more about you, and I don't even know you, that's how far my personal self loathing goes. I would love to help you, but I don't know how. I would love to help myself, but I'm not worth saving. If you can you have to find your reason to stop, then maybe all the other coping techniques will help.

I wish I knew how I could help you becasue I doubt this was very useful.

[Kaytlin]

That's what I was trying to say. It wouldn't matter what you did or had done to you, if you want to hurt yourself you'll find a way. Ideas like cutting off limbs aren't realistic solutions both becasue it would be really hard to do and even if you could it wouldn't stop you. You could strap me to my bed and I'd just bite my tongue.

I know it's cliche and not helpful but the only one that can stop you is you. That's why I can't stop. I simply don't like myself enough to care what happens to me. I care more about you, and I don't even know you, that's how far my personal self loathing goes. I would love to help you, but I don't know how. I would love to help myself, but I'm not worth saving. If you can you have to find your reason to stop, then maybe all the other coping techniques will help.

I wish I knew how I could help you becasue I doubt this was very useful.

I'm just at the point now where you are I don't like myself anymore. Thanks though.