Is it possible he to be gay?

[petr970]

Hi,:)
I am 16 years old and i am gay.For 6 months now i have a crush on this boy who is 15.I want him really,really bad.And sometimes i think that he likes me back, but sometimes i think that he doesn't.:confused:
Okay,
Reasons that make me think he likes me:
1.He likes to wrestle with me.
2.He often jumps on my back asking for a piggyback ride.
3.He doesn't move his arm/leg when we sit next to each other and i "accidentally" touch them.
4.He is always happy to see me and smiles at me.
5.We talk all the time over the internet or on the phone.
6.He once send me a kiss over skype and when i respond with a hug he called me and told me that he had always loved me ,i respond "i love you too" but i make it sound like i think he is joking and i am joking too(just in case he is really joking),and he sort of backed away .
7.One time when we where at his village ,he took me for a ride on his motorcycle and told me to hold on for him , after a while i let my hands off his hip and then he asked me to hold on for him again because he feel more secure that way.

Reasons that make me think he doesn't like me:
1.He sometimes talks about girls and mostly about there asses.
2,When i ask him if he wants us to go to the movies or somewhere else most of the time he says no.(but he wants to talk with me over the internet almost all the time).
3.I tried ones to start a conversation about LGBT community, but he sad that he is against them.

....:)So what do YOU think is he gay,straight,bisexual, or just not sure what he is yet?;Does he likes me or not?; What should i do?;What shouldn't i do?;Do you think we might be more then friends one day? I am sure that everything you write will be a big help for me.
By the way sorry for my bad english and thank you for your answers.



P.S. I don't know if this is important , but one time we were watching a movie in my house and when our mutual friends asked us where we were, we sad that we watched a movie at home, and they sayed don't lie you were there to kiss each other.

[Green Arrow]

It could just be that you're really good friends and it's a bromance. But who knows it might not be, just don't do anything that could affect your friendship. Let him come to you.

[NikosamA98]

It could just be that you're really good friends and it's a bromance. But who knows it might not be, just don't do anything that could affect your friendship. Let him come to you.



Exactly. Maybe you could give him clues but not obvious clues that you like him :yeah:

[Matt_97]

Like said above it could just be a bromance, we might be wrong! I think that he could be unsure of his sexuality just from reading that but im not sure. He could very well like you and thats why he's leaving these subtle hints. You never know he might be having the same problem as you.

If you do something just try and not let it affect your friendship :) hope this helps you

[Tze-]

Does he know you are gay?

[teen.jpg]

You don't have to analyze all of his actions, it usually is nothing but mindless assumptions. If he's gay, he'll tell you.

If he's not, I don't think he'd really like being asked about his sexuality :o

[Camazotz]

You don't have to analyze all of his actions, it usually is nothing but mindless assumptions. If he's gay, he'll tell you.

If he's not, I don't think he'd really like being asked about his sexuality :o

I agree with this, although I'll just explain what I think of your rationalizations OP.

Reasons that make me think he likes me:
1.He likes to wrestle with me.
2.He often jumps on my back asking for a piggyback ride.
3.He doesn't move his arm/leg when we sit next to each other and i "accidentally" touch them.
4.He is always happy to see me and smiles at me.
5.We talk all the time over the internet or on the phone.
6.He once send me a kiss over skype and when i respond with a hug he called me and told me that he had always loved me ,i respond "i love you too" but i make it sound like i think he is joking and i am joking too(just in case he is really joking),and he sort of backed away .
7.One time when we where at his village ,he took me for a ride on his motorcycle and told me to hold on for him , after a while i let my hands off his hip and then he asked me to hold on for him again because he feel more secure that way.

This is all speculation, so don't take everything I say as straight fact.

1 & 2. Guys like to wrestle with friends, it's an instinctual thing.
3. He might just think you accidentally touch him, so it's okay.
4 & 5. Friends tend to like each other's company, which is shown through smiling.
6. He might be curious and want to test boundaries.
7. He might've asked to hold onto him because he wasn't comfortable with you not holding on (you could've fallen off)

Reasons that make me think he doesn't like me:
1.He sometimes talks about girls and mostly about there asses.
2,When i ask him if he wants us to go to the movies or somewhere else most of the time he says no.(but he wants to talk with me over the internet almost all the time).
3.I tried ones to start a conversation about LGBT community, but he sad that he is against them.

1. He could be heterosexual, bisexual, curious, or even gay.
2. He could just not like going out. Some people prefer to stay home.
3. He might not agree with homosexuality or might just be uncomfortable with the topic.

So what do YOU think is he gay,straight,bisexual, or just not sure what he is yet?;Does he likes me or not?; What should i do?;What shouldn't i do?;Do you think we might be more then friends one day? I am sure that everything you write will be a big help for me.

Personally, I would assume that he's straight and just wants to be friends with you. I don't think it's polite to ask him outright, but if he's your friend, he should understand. I think it'd be best to not tell him your feelings because you might risk your friendship. It's possible that one day he might realize that he's gay, but I don't think you should "wait" for that day to come.

[petr970]

First i want to thank to all of you for your answers!


Green Arrow, i am starting to think that this is a bromance too.

Tze, no he doesn't ,nobody knows i live in a very homofobic part or the earth.

Myles, i don't tthink that he will tell me if he is gay for the same reason that i don't tell him (LGBT here is a taboo).

Camazotz, thank you for your explanation, it makes sense , but i hope you to be wrong lol

[plebble]

Hi,:)
I am 16 years old and i am gay.For 6 months now i have a crush on this boy who is 15.I want him really,really bad.And sometimes i think that he likes me back, but sometimes i think that he doesn't.:confused:
Okay,
Reasons that make me think he likes me:
1.He likes to wrestle with me.
2.He often jumps on my back asking for a piggyback ride.
3.He doesn't move his arm/leg when we sit next to each other and i "accidentally" touch them.
4.He is always happy to see me and smiles at me.
5.We talk all the time over the internet or on the phone.
6.He once send me a kiss over skype and when i respond with a hug he called me and told me that he had always loved me ,i respond "i love you too" but i make it sound like i think he is joking and i am joking too(just in case he is really joking),and he sort of backed away .
7.One time when we where at his village ,he took me for a ride on his motorcycle and told me to hold on for him , after a while i let my hands off his hip and then he asked me to hold on for him again because he feel more secure that way.

Reasons that make me think he doesn't like me:
1.He sometimes talks about girls and mostly about there asses.
2,When i ask him if he wants us to go to the movies or somewhere else most of the time he says no.(but he wants to talk with me over the internet almost all the time).
3.I tried ones to start a conversation about LGBT community, but he sad that he is against them.

....:)So what do YOU think is he gay,straight,bisexual, or just not sure what he is yet?;Does he likes me or not?; What should i do?;What shouldn't i do?;Do you think we might be more then friends one day? I am sure that everything you write will be a big help for me.
By the way sorry for my bad english and thank you for your answers.



P.S. I don't know if this is important , but one time we were watching a movie in my house and when our mutual friends asked us where we were, we sad that we watched a movie at home, and they sayed don't lie you were there to kiss each other.

That's a tough one. Does he know you're gay?
To me, he sounds like he could be bisexual. Just my opinion.

[mijr1999]

i beleive it to be just a bromance but he might be bisexual you never know

[petr970]

What should i do?
Should i tell him how i feel(i live in a homophobic country) or should i let him to tell me that he likes me (if he does).
Whats my best option?
Thanks again for all the answers!!

[petr970]

I have some more news guys!:)
He is very physical with me .And now i am completely confused because he let me touch(grab) his butt several times and at least for 4-5 seconds.(Would this be normal if it was a bromance ? ).Oh and almost forgot my close relatives are calling me a unique nickname that no one else call me . But he insists to call me the way my relative do.

By the way we will watch a movie in my house soon. Any ideas or advices?

[Luminous]

By the way we will watch a movie in my house soon. Any ideas or advices?

I think he likes you. Hold his hand! See if he accepts it maybe you will work your way to a kiss!

[petr970]

thanks i will try it :).I will keep you updated how it went!

[Luminous]

No problem, I will look for your update :3 this is suspenseful

[Biscuithead13]

Best of luck to you! I know how it feels to be in your situation, but at the same time always keep a realistic view on things. When we fall for a guy, our mind tries to tell usthey are gay. Sometimes they are, and id say go for it! But if you sense him being uncomfortable, its best to just leave him be. Hope things go well :)

[petr970]

Okay we were watching a movie at my house today. I want to apologise in advance for the long story i am going to write , and for my bad english(not my mothers language).

So at noon I was in the shower while he rang on the doorbell . I grabbed my towel and let him in .I told him to wait in my room until i finish showering . After i finish showering i went to my room(while he is in it)and i was going to ask him to wait outside until i get dressed,but i decided do get dressed while he is in the room to see his reactions .So i told him to look the other way while i get dressed .I think he looked once but i am not sure.After that we start watching a movie and nothing interesting happend for a while.

Somewhere at the middle of the movie he said he is bored and want to play some video games.So i let him of course and at some point while he was playing i managed to "accidentally" grab and hold his hand for 10-15 seconds.While we were holding hands he did something like gently squeezing and loosing my hand.After he get bored of playing games we went to watch a movie again(but a different movie) and again nothing happend for a while.

At some point during the movie i asked him if he wants me to bring us something to eat while watching the movie,he said yes and i went to the kitchen when i get back he was standing and looking me in the eyes.So i looked him in the eyes too and freezed.After a few seconds eye contact(not sure how long but it felt like a decade:D:D) he jumped at me (like a girl jumps to a boy for a hug) and we hugged strong for a few seconds(again not sure how long but it felt like decade and it was MAGICAL:wub:).After these few seconds he let go (and then i did) and we started wrestling againg.After that we continue watching the movie.Later when i asked him why he hugged me he said that he was trying to to knock me down but it didn't work.

After some time while watching the movie we started to wrestle again and after we stopped i managed to grab and hold his hand again for about 10 seconds and he was again doing something like gently squeezing and loosing my hand until we let of our hands.

At the end of the movie (i want to apologize for the details i will give here)he pulled his pants a little lower ,I asked him "What are you doing?" and he respond " Chill out my pants are just to high , I am not going to show you my dick(while laughing)".I was wondering how to respond to that and suddenly out of nowhere i said "I already saw it." he responded "You couldn't have saw it i didn't pull my pants that low,you probably saw my hair..(and then he pulled his pants down showing little of his hair which by the way was recently shaved :D:D) "

So these are all the interesting moments i can think of right now.Again i want to apologize about my novel here :D and about the details i gave.And want to thank you in advance for all the opinions and advices you will write.

P.S. I forgot to mention that he was oftenly holding his p*nis and looking toward me to see if i am watching.Actually he caught me twice..
P.S.2. There was this chick in the movie and he pointed out twice that she is extremely beautiful and asked me if i think she is pretty.But how can i tell him that i am gay and i am not attracted to wimen.So i said "I don't like her." and he said "Are you gay?".I really wanted to tell him the truth ,but i couldn't and i respond like i am joking just to be funny with "Yes i am".In some way i lied to him by telling him the truth...

[Luminous]

I think he likes you! I think that's why he asked you about the girl and if you're gay, he was testing you.

[petr970]

Thank you for your answer, but i am confused if he was testing me why didn't he do anything when i said that i don't like her?

[Luminous]

Like you, he could be scared of the consequences and not want to dive into anything so quickly.

[petr970]

What should i do then?
By the way just remembered that he asked me to walk him home.I thought of what he said earlier (that he tried to knock me down, not to hug me) and after we arrived i said,but sounding like a joke "Give me a big hug!" and he said "Yea write(while laughing)".So my point is that maybe he really wasn't thinking of hugging me but he did after he saw that he wont be able to knock me down.
I don't know if you understand me ..:D

[Laquifa]

What should i do then?
By the way just remembered that he asked me to walk him home.I thought of what he said earlier (that he tried to knock me down, not to hug me) and after we arrived i said,but sounding like a joke "Give me a big hug!" and he said "Yea write(while laughing)".So my point is that maybe he really wasn't thinking of hugging me but he did after he saw that he wont be able to knock me down.
I don't know if you understand me ..:D

Maybe he does like you, but he feels awkward about it because he might think you're straight. I don't exactly know how to coach you on this one. I'd say tread lightly, but if he freaks out, ABORT.

[petr970]

Maybe he does like you, but he feels awkward about it because he might think you're straight. I don't exactly know how to coach you on this one. I'd say tread lightly, but if he freaks out, ABORT.

Thanks for the advice i will tread lightly and keep the topic updated :)

[Josh from SoCal]

Here is how I ended up messing around with my friend, the one guy ive done anything with. and it started out pretty much the same as your situation. we were wrestling and I let him kinda pin me. he was like fully on top of me and I could feel that he was "reacting" to our bodies in contact. When he was on top of me, I stopped resisting and we were face to face and obviously very close to each other. his face was about 3-4 inches from mine and we looked in each others eyes for what seemed like forever. i smiled like i was joking and said something about how i felt him getting hard and that it was either because of the wrestling or because of me. i let there be a long second pause then said, if it's because of me, thats chill. and if its not, thats chill also. he relaxed his hold on me then we stayed there for a minute. i think we were both trying to decide what was next. then he slowly leaned in and kissed me and then i knew what was what.

figure out a way to get into a position where he has a clear opening with you. next time you are changing in front of him, dont tell him to look away. "innocently" change directly in front of him and pay attention to whether or not he is watching. telling him to look away subtly tells him you dont want him to see. making it hard for him NOT to see is an opening but is also easily explained away if he isn't interested.

Good luck. Imo, he is at least bi-curious and is so close to you that he wants to explore that with you. Sure I could be wrong but based on my experience, that's whats up.

[petr970]

Here is how I ended up messing around with my friend, the one guy ive done anything with. and it started out pretty much the same as your situation. we were wrestling and I let him kinda pin me. he was like fully on top of me and I could feel that he was "reacting" to our bodies in contact. When he was on top of me, I stopped resisting and we were face to face and obviously very close to each other. his face was about 3-4 inches from mine and we looked in each others eyes for what seemed like forever. i smiled like i was joking and said something about how i felt him getting hard and that it was either because of the wrestling or because of me. i let there be a long second pause then said, if it's because of me, thats chill. and if its not, thats chill also. he relaxed his hold on me then we stayed there for a minute. i think we were both trying to decide what was next. then he slowly leaned in and kissed me and then i knew what was what.

figure out a way to get into a position where he has a clear opening with you. next time you are changing in front of him, dont tell him to look away. "innocently" change directly in front of him and pay attention to whether or not he is watching. telling him to look away subtly tells him you dont want him to see. making it hard for him NOT to see is an opening but is also easily explained away if he isn't interested.

Good luck. Imo, he is at least bi-curious and is so close to you that he wants to explore that with you. Sure I could be wrong but based on my experience, that's whats up.
Thank you for sharing your story with me i will try to repeat your steps.But there is one problem the only one that is "reacting" to the bodies while we are wrestling is me :D.Anyway i will try to do what you said and will keep the topic updated.In the meantime i accept more opinions and advices.:):)

[Josh from SoCal]

Thank you for sharing your story with me i will try to repeat your steps.But there is one problem the only one that is "reacting" to the bodies while we are wrestling is me :D.Anyway i will try to do what you said and will keep the topic updated.In the meantime i accept more opinions and advices.:):)

In that case, when you react, just smile and say oops, looks like im overreacting. dont stop the contact but keep smiling and look in his eyes. see what he says. good luck either way.

[petr970]

In that case, when you react, just smile and say oops, looks like im overreacting. dont stop the contact but keep smiling and look in his eyes. see what he says. good luck either way.
Thats a good advice. I will see if i have the guts to try that.By the way untill now when we were wrestling and i get a "reaction" i used to immediately break the wrestle with the argument that i am tired and i need a litle rest...:D
By the way i can't be sure about this ,but i think he have noticed once or twice that i have a boner while we are wrestling.But again i cant be sure because he hasn't said or did anythink about it.

[Living For Love]

Wow! It's obviously a really big bromance! I think he's not 100% straight, but he really trusts you a lot and it sometimes gives the impression that he might be gay or bisexual. Holding hands, hugging, wrestling, piggyback rides, let you touch his hips/legs/arms, that's not enough to define his sexuality, I sometimes do that with my brother and my cousin, so it's not a big deal.

I have some kind of theory based on the information you displayed, but I don't know if it is just my immagination running wild: you're probably the only best friend he has, so he wants to stay with you and keep you in his company all the time. I guess he has already figured out that you are somewhat gay, and so he has this types of behaviours so that you feel really comfortable when he's with you. He said he is against LGBT because he doesn't want other people to think he's gay (he seems insecure about that), he doesn't want to go to the cinema with you because that might seem gay (you said you live in a homophobic part of the world) and he talks about girls and asses just to "tell you indirectly" he's straight, although I think he might be kinda gay. He ultimately asked you if you were gay so that he could make up his own conclusions, but you didn't give him that chance.

As Jay said, you really need to tread carefully. At the present time, he wants you to be his best friend, not his boyfriend, but that can eventually change! It's obvious he's somewhat attracted by you. Let things follow its natural path, keep doing with him things you usually do with him. I would really like this to have a happy ending, friendships like this are extremely rare. Consider yourself really lucky. GL!

[petr970]

Wow! It's obviously a really big bromance! I think he's not 100% straight, but he really trusts you a lot and it sometimes gives the impression that he might be gay or bisexual. Holding hands, hugging, wrestling, piggyback rides, let you touch his hips/legs/arms, that's not enough to define his sexuality, I sometimes do that with my brother and my cousin, so it's not a big deal.

I have some kind of theory based on the information you displayed, but I don't know if it is just my immagination running wild: you're probably the only best friend he has, so he wants to stay with you and keep you in his company all the time. I guess he has already figured out that you are somewhat gay, and so he has this types of behaviours so that you feel really comfortable when he's with you. He said he is against LGBT because he doesn't want other people to think he's gay (he seems insecure about that), he doesn't want to go to the cinema with you because that might seem gay (you said you live in a homophobic part of the world) and he talks about girls and asses just to "tell you indirectly" he's straight, although I think he might be kinda gay. He ultimately asked you if you were gay so that he could make up his own conclusions, but you didn't give him that chance.

As Jay said, you really need to tread carefully. At the present time, he wants you to be his best friend, not his boyfriend, but that can eventually change! It's obvious he's somewhat attracted by you. Let things follow its natural path, keep doing with him things you usually do with him. I would really like this to have a happy ending, friendships like this are extremely rare. Consider yourself really lucky. GL!
Thank you for your reply.It has been almost 2 months since my last update and a lot have happend since then.To be honest i can't remember most of the things,but today was interesting.We went to the mall for some window shopping(i beleive that is the right expression) and after eating at McDonald's we went to my place.Lucky for me my parents wasn't home and we were alone.So we started wrestling and after a while i told him i am bored i don't want to wrestle any more,but he didn't stop.So after a couple of times repeating that i don't want to wrestle any more i just blurted "Stop or i will pull your pants down" .I don't know how i let myself say that...After few second of thinking he said "You can't" and keep wrestling me.When i heared that i renew the wrestling and i managed to pull his pants a little.After that i told him that i am sorry and that i overreacted and that it wont happen again.Then i told him that i will give him 30 seconds without me fighting back, to do what he wants for a payback(thinking that he will continue wrestling with me).Instead of that he started to pull my pants down and after he was close from pulling them down i was forced to brake the 30 second promise and fight back :D .This is the only think i can remember now ,maybe i will remember more interesting moments in the future.I will be happy to hear your opinions and advices again. I am trying to be realistic here and i think that he just like wrestling but..who knows.I am planning to tell him i like him on two parts:
1st.Telling him i am gay(and giving him a few weeks to assimilates it )
2nd. Tell him i like him,if he don't tell me first that he like me,after knowing that i am gay.
Should i do it?I have to remind that i live in a homophobic country.Homosexuality is legal but people aren't verry friendly with LGBT society.

P.S.
I guess he has already figured out that you are somewhat gay
Yes i pretty sure he knows, many times i went out of my way to show him i am not straight.Today when we were at the mall he said that one of the girls walking past us has a nice ass and told me to look at it.I responded "i dont care" and he said that i must be gay or something.So i said (but making it sound like a joke again) "Yes i am" but he didn't say anything after that, we just keep on walking.Tehnically the only thing i didn't do to show him i am gay yet is screaming "I am gay and i am inlove with you" in the middle of the mall.

[Living For Love]

I am trying to be realistic here and i think that he just like wrestling but..who knows.I am planning to tell him i like him on two parts:
1st.Telling him i am gay(and giving him a few weeks to assimilates it )
2nd. Tell him i like him,if he don't tell me first that he like me,after knowing that i am gay.
Should i do it?I have to remind that i live in a homophobic country.Homosexuality is legal but people aren't verry friendly with LGBT society.

P.S.

Yes i pretty sure he knows, many times i went out of my way to show him i am not straight.Today when we were at the mall he said that one of the girls walking past us has a nice ass and told me to look at it.I responded "i dont care" and he said that i must be gay or something.So i said (but making it sound like a joke again) "Yes i am" but he didn't say anything after that, we just keep on walking.Tehnically the only thing i didn't do to show him i am gay yet is screaming "I am gay and i am inlove with you" in the middle of the mall.


I guess it's time for you to make your move, then. I mean, you guys seem to have such a strong and close friendship, what could go wrong? If I was gay and had a friend like him, I guess I would have already told him. Just make sure he is in a good mood, start by saying you really like him and you're thankful to have a friend like him. Then try to subtly hint that you like him more than a friend. Try not to verbalize the exact words by saying "I'm gay" or "I'm in love with you". Say that in other words. I'm pretty sure he will understand. If he says he feels the same way, great. If he says he's not gay, and considering he's not lying, then nothing's lost, too, at least you told him how you felt about it, and he might think about your words, and it could strengthen your friendship even more.

[EpicTaco]

I never understood why people get so offended when asked their sexuality. I was on the other side of something like this (a few times :p). Twice the person has asked me if I was gay or even curious. Although I am a tad bit curious, I'm not really interested in a gay/bi relationship. I didn't get offended, and we both even felt a bit less awkward afterward (somehow xD). The first one I didn't even know was gay.

Point: You know your friend best. Would he be offended if you asked his sexuality? Would be be freaked out if you told him? You two sound close, and I think you're taking more out of it than really intended.

[EpicTaco]

Thank you for your reply.It has been almost 2 months since my last update and a lot have happend since then.To be honest i can't remember most of the things,but today was interesting.We went to the mall for some window shopping(i beleive that is the right expression) and after eating at McDonald's we went to my place.Lucky for me my parents wasn't home and we were alone.So we started wrestling and after a while i told him i am bored i don't want to wrestle any more,but he didn't stop.So after a couple of times repeating that i don't want to wrestle any more i just blurted "Stop or i will pull your pants down" .I don't know how i let myself say that...After few second of thinking he said "You can't" and keep wrestling me.When i heared that i renew the wrestling and i managed to pull his pants a little.After that i told him that i am sorry and that i overreacted and that it wont happen again.Then i told him that i will give him 30 seconds without me fighting back, to do what he wants for a payback(thinking that he will continue wrestling with me).Instead of that he started to pull my pants down and after he was close from pulling them down i was forced to brake the 30 second promise and fight back :D .This is the only think i can remember now ,maybe i will remember more interesting moments in the future.I will be happy to hear your opinions and advices again. I am trying to be realistic here and i think that he just like wrestling but..who knows.I am planning to tell him i like him on two parts:
1st.Telling him i am gay(and giving him a few weeks to assimilates it )
2nd. Tell him i like him,if he don't tell me first that he like me,after knowing that i am gay.
Should i do it?I have to remind that i live in a homophobic country.Homosexuality is legal but people aren't verry friendly with LGBT society.

P.S.

Yes i pretty sure he knows, many times i went out of my way to show him i am not straight.Today when we were at the mall he said that one of the girls walking past us has a nice ass and told me to look at it.I responded "i dont care" and he said that i must be gay or something.So i said (but making it sound like a joke again) "Yes i am" but he didn't say anything after that, we just keep on walking.Tehnically the only thing i didn't do to show him i am gay yet is screaming "I am gay and i am inlove with you" in the middle of the mall.

Just read this. If you were really interested, why did you stop? He was starting to make a bit of a move :o

[Alex_3869]

Thank you for your reply.It has been almost 2 months since my last update and a lot have happend since then.To be honest i can't remember most of the things,but today was interesting.We went to the mall for some window shopping(i beleive that is the right expression) and after eating at McDonald's we went to my place.Lucky for me my parents wasn't home and we were alone.So we started wrestling and after a while i told him i am bored i don't want to wrestle any more,but he didn't stop.So after a couple of times repeating that i don't want to wrestle any more i just blurted "Stop or i will pull your pants down" .I don't know how i let myself say that...After few second of thinking he said "You can't" and keep wrestling me.When i heared that i renew the wrestling and i managed to pull his pants a little.After that i told him that i am sorry and that i overreacted and that it wont happen again.Then i told him that i will give him 30 seconds without me fighting back, to do what he wants for a payback(thinking that he will continue wrestling with me).Instead of that he started to pull my pants down and after he was close from pulling them down i was forced to brake the 30 second promise and fight back :D .This is the only think i can remember now ,maybe i will remember more interesting moments in the future.I will be happy to hear your opinions and advices again. I am trying to be realistic here and i think that he just like wrestling but..who knows.I am planning to tell him i like him on two parts:
1st.Telling him i am gay(and giving him a few weeks to assimilates it )
2nd. Tell him i like him,if he don't tell me first that he like me,after knowing that i am gay.
Should i do it?I have to remind that i live in a homophobic country.Homosexuality is legal but people aren't verry friendly with LGBT society.

P.S.

Yes i pretty sure he knows, many times i went out of my way to show him i am not straight.Today when we were at the mall he said that one of the girls walking past us has a nice ass and told me to look at it.I responded "i dont care" and he said that i must be gay or something.So i said (but making it sound like a joke again) "Yes i am" but he didn't say anything after that, we just keep on walking.Tehnically the only thing i didn't do to show him i am gay yet is screaming "I am gay and i am inlove with you" in the middle of the mall.
Okay, so i think he was trying to make a move, but don't take my advice soley on that. Try and get him talking on lgbt stuff and see how he reacts. I do think he knows your gay, by the way, so just see how comfortable he is with gays in general. If that makes sense.:D

[petr970]

Thank you for all the help guys.
I guess it's time for you to make your move, then. i think so too ,but i think i am not ready to face the consequences that might occur.

You two sound close, and I think you're taking more out of it than really intended.
I don't understand what you mean.

I do think he knows your gay, by the way, so just see how comfortable he is with gays in general.
I posted before that i tried to start a conversations about LGBT ,but he said that he is against them.So if he really knows i am gay,he must be lying,because he is verry friendly with me.

[Throwaway24]

I think he is curious and does like u a bit. Next time ur watching a movie start to touch his leg and stuff again and then talk to him. Go with the flow of the convo and go with the spur of the moment. I will just say though u seem like a great guy and sound a lot like me so i have just told u what i did.

[petr970]

Thank you for the advice i will try as soon as i can.

[petr970]

Just a little update..
I think that he is feeling uncomfortable by the word "gay" or the meaning of it .Today we were talking in skype about bodybuilding, when he turned his camera on and started showing me his muscles and told me that he doesn't like his body.Of course i told him that his body is perfect(it really is by the way i am not the only one who thinks he has i nice body).And after i told him that ,he said "You are making me compliments, because you want to have a date with me" or something like that i can't remember the exact words.I said "Well... can i?"(but of course making it sound more like a joke) and then he said(not rude but like just continuing the conversation) "No, I am not gay."

[sqishy]

Just a little update..
I think that he is feeling uncomfortable by the word "gay" or the meaning of it .Today we were talking in skype about bodybuilding, when he turned his camera on and started showing me his muscles and told me that he doesn't like his body.Of course i told him that his body is perfect(it really is by the way i am not the only one who thinks he has i nice body).And after i told him that ,he said "You are making me compliments, because you want to have a date with me" or something like that i can't remember the exact words.I said "Well... can i?"(but of course making it sound more like a joke) and then he said(not rude but like just continuing the conversation) "No, I am not gay."

He wouldn't resist against something that is not there. He is at least curious.

[petr970]

He wouldn't resist against something that is not there. He is at least curious.
What is my my best option in that case?Is it possible to be boyfriends one day?

[sqishy]

What is my my best option in that case?Is it possible to be boyfriends one day?

Not really possible to have a close relationship for a day. Even it he were to go with the idea, you wouldn't want it to end. Approach slowly, give him space. Ask his opinion on LGBT stuff in general, see his reaction.

[Living For Love]

Just a little update..
I think that he is feeling uncomfortable by the word "gay" or the meaning of it .Today we were talking in skype about bodybuilding, when he turned his camera on and started showing me his muscles and told me that he doesn't like his body.Of course i told him that his body is perfect(it really is by the way i am not the only one who thinks he has i nice body).And after i told him that ,he said "You are making me compliments, because you want to have a date with me" or something like that i can't remember the exact words.I said "Well... can i?"(but of course making it sound more like a joke) and then he said(not rude but like just continuing the conversation) "No, I am not gay."

His definition of "gay" is clearly an extremely bad one. I mean, he thinks that the fact that you two could be dating is gay, or he thinks you are gay only because you didn't express you opinion on a girl's ass you saw on the mall, but if he jumps to you like a girl jumps to a boy and hug you, and if you hold hands with him, that's not gay?

I'm not a native English speaker, but I think the expression "to date someone" means "to hang out with someone", do social activities together, but not necessarily as a romantic couple, I guess. It doesn't matter, when you two went window shopping, isn't that considered some kind of dating?

Anyway, if you two are fine the way you are, then you don't have nothing to fear. He really likes, that's good, right? He has already stated clear that he would never do any "gay" thing with you, like kissing you in the lips, I guess, so I think it's better if you forget the idea of being his boyfriend. Just make sure you are his best friend, and although it would never be the same, and you still have that "burden" inside you of not being able to tell him you're gay and you really like him, make him know that he's a really good friend to you, and you are thankful for that.

This is a really intriguing case. Do you live in Russia? I thought this because of your username, "petr". Anyway, GLHF, keep us updated if you can.

[petr970]

No i am not from Russia , i am from Bulgaria ,but my nickname does not represent my name it is just 4 random letters and 3 digits representing year of birth.Anyway i will keep you updated..

[petr970]

Hi guys,
i have a little update..
So i am thinking of making the "first step",but i am really confused.Sometimes i want to tell him how i feel and its on the top of my tongue,but i still don't have the guts to tell him.Other times i am thinking of how close i was to tell him and what a big mistake i was going to make.As i said before i live in a homophobic country and i am not sure what the consequences might be if i tell him and he don't share my feelings or even worse if he tell everyone that i am gay.

By the way he is a big fan of the 3rd person video games. So today i found a gameplay trailer of the upcomming game "Watch dogs" and i told him over skype that i have something to show him that will make him want to kiss me.Then i asked "Do you beleive me?"He said "Yes" and when i showed him the video he started kissing the microphone like he is kissing me.

Could this be a hint?Or i am analyzing to much,because i like him?I would like to hear your opinions on what to do next. Thank you again.

[Living For Love]

Hi guys,
i have a little update..
So i am thinking of making the "first step",but i am really confused.Sometimes i want to tell him how i feel and its on the top of my tongue,but i still don't have the guts to tell him.Other times i am thinking of how close i was to tell him and what a big mistake i was going to make.As i said before i live in a homophobic country and i am not sure what the consequences might be if i tell him and he don't share my feelings or even worse if he tell everyone that i am gay.

By the way he is a big fan of the 3rd person video games. So today i found a gameplay trailer of the upcomming game "Watch dogs" and i told him over skype that i have something to show him that will make him want to kiss me.Then i asked "Do you beleive me?"He said "Yes" and when i showed him the video he started kissing the microphone like he is kissing me.

Could this be a hint?Or i am analyzing to much,because i like him?I would like to hear your opinions on what to do next. Thank you again.

I don't know if we can consider that a hint, but anyway, do you really think he's going to tell everyone you're gay if you tell that to him? I mean, do you think he's going to backstab you that way? You guys know eachother so well, have such a strong friendship...

The only thing that you need to worry about is the fact that, as he has already told you he's against LGBT and stuff, he might not never approach you again in the same way when he knows you're gay. It's a hard decision, but it's really up to you. You could offer him that "Watch Dogs" game, he could be really happy with you if you did so.

I don't know what to tell you more. Just follow your intuition, do what you think it's best for you two. Maybe, instead of telling him you are gay, tell your friend you love him, without stating you are gay. Just consider more than one possibility, and be really careful.

[petr970]

I don't know if we can consider that a hint, but anyway, do you really think he's going to tell everyone you're gay if you tell that to him? I mean, do you think he's going to backstab you that way? You guys know eachother so well, have such a strong friendship...

The only thing that you need to worry about is the fact that, as he has already told you he's against LGBT and stuff, he might not never approach you again in the same way when he knows you're gay. It's a hard decision, but it's really up to you. You could offer him that "Watch Dogs" game, he could be really happy with you if you did so.

I don't know what to tell you more. Just follow your intuition, do what you think it's best for you two. Maybe, instead of telling him you are gay, tell your friend you love him, without stating you are gay. Just consider more than one possibility, and be really careful.
OK,first thank you for the great answer.
As far as i know him he doesn't look like a person who is capable of doing something like this ,but i am a little paranoic, because i can't afford my parents and/or friends to know that i am gay at least for now.

About the LGBT stuff couple of days ago he mentioned that his parrents are considering the possibility to move to another country possibly America.So i asked him what is he going to do if he moves to America with his parents ,because he won't have any friends..bla bla bla.. and because he can say he is against LGBT here ,but in America there are very strict laws agains this kind of discrimination(at least in some of the states).He told me that he won't have problem with this, because this is his own opinion and he won't try to impose it to anyone.
(I am not sure what he was trying to say with this...)

You are right it's a very hard decision, i guess i will have to see what my intuition is going to say.

[jcs5943]

Just a little update..
I think that he is feeling uncomfortable by the word "gay" or the meaning of it .Today we were talking in skype about bodybuilding, when he turned his camera on and started showing me his muscles and told me that he doesn't like his body.Of course i told him that his body is perfect(it really is by the way i am not the only one who thinks he has i nice body).And after i told him that ,he said "You are making me compliments, because you want to have a date with me" or something like that i can't remember the exact words.I said "Well... can i?"(but of course making it sound more like a joke) and then he said(not rude but like just continuing the conversation) "No, I am not gay."
Did you tell him that your gay then?

[petr970]

Did you tell him that your gay then?
No..I am still considering if i should tell him

[jcs5943]

Then what I would suggest is have him round for another movie, and ask if he wants to stay the night then maybe sleeping in your boxers wrestle some more and accidently'' touch him, or threaten to pull them down or or do something, failing that maybe let him catch you during the night doing something, but i'm afraid i'm not sure he is gay but he sounds rather curious the least you and he can have fun, i hope all goes well, i understand the position your in all too well, but that's a story for another time, good luck

[petr970]

Then what I would suggest is have him round for another movie, and ask if he wants to stay the night then maybe sleeping in your boxers wrestle some more and accidently'' touch him, or threaten to pull them down or or do something, failing that maybe let him catch you during the night doing something, but i'm afraid i'm not sure he is gay but he sounds rather curious the least you and he can have fun, i hope all goes well, i understand the position your in all too well, but that's a story for another time, good luck

This is an option too,but i think that he isn't comfortable with sleepovers.I have already asked him a couple of times if he wants, but he refuses.When i ask "Why?" he says that he isn't comfortable not sleeping at his house.I don't know if he is saying the truth and really doesn't like sleeping at a strange place or he just doesn't want to sleep at my house particular.

[Dundun99]

sounds to me that he might be bi or just curious, id ask him if your serious about giving it ago with him and just see what he says, he sounds real nice and does sound like he could be curious or bi or gay

[petr970]

sounds to me that he might be bi or just curious, id ask him if your serious about giving it ago with him and just see what he says, he sounds real nice and does sound like he could be curious or bi or gay

Yeah maybe ,but i don't think Im ready to face the consequences that might occur if i confess him my feelings and he turns out to be straight.But I will try to do it.I guess i just have to find the perfect moment..

P.S. By the way i just saw that he didn't pointed what he is interested to in facebook(boys or girls).I know that this doesn't mean he is not straight ,but i am gay and i deliberately didn't point what i am interested to(because if i point girls i will be lying ,but if point boys it will be like confessing i am gay)

[Ruanimal]

The best way I've found, and I know my countries vastly different to yours is let people do what they want and then try and mimic there actions, for example play into his arms when wrestling etc, sounds to me like he's curious and as your quite close might use you as a test?

[petr970]

The best way I've found, and I know my countries vastly different to yours is let people do what they want and then try and mimic there actions, for example play into his arms when wrestling etc, sounds to me like he's curious and as your quite close might use you as a test?

This is very good advice i will try to mimic him from now on .

[oneDay]

Hey dude. It looks like your pretty anxious about coming out to your best friend and I’d suggest that you approach him about it in an easy and mellow manner. Given the fact that you don’t know if he’s telling you the truth about his views of LGBT people you have to consider the worst-case-scenario of him reacting badly to you and everything that could follow. So instead of potentially putting him in an uncomfortable situation by coming out after you’ve wrestled him, bought him a gift, complimented him, or anything too personal you could give him some space and tell him after a few days break. This could prepare him more easily because you’ll remind him that you’re his friend and he can trust you. Whether he does or doesn't like the news that you’re gay might not mean much if he sees that you are considerate enough to be thoughtful of his feelings, patient, and discreet about telling him. This is how I’d handle it based on the details you've shared so far.

I think this is your safest bet if you don’t want to risk losing this special relationship you have. Since I've never had such a close friendship like yours I tend to take these situations fairly seriously. I really hope you can remain his best friend whatever way you choose to come out. If you need any advice don’t be afraid to ask. :)

P.S. I’m sorry this took so long. I wasn't online the past few days.

[petr970]

Hey dude. It looks like your pretty anxious about coming out to your best friend and I’d suggest that you approach him about it in an easy and mellow manner. Given the fact that you don’t know if he’s telling you the truth about his views of LGBT people you have to consider the worst-case-scenario of him reacting badly to you and everything that could follow. So instead of potentially putting him in an uncomfortable situation by coming out after you’ve wrestled him, bought him a gift, complimented him, or anything too personal you could give him some space and tell him after a few days break. This could prepare him more easily because you’ll remind him that you’re his friend and he can trust you. Whether he does or doesn't like the news that you’re gay might not mean much if he sees that you are considerate enough to be thoughtful of his feelings, patient, and discreet about telling him. This is how I’d handle it based on the details you've shared so far.

I think this is your safest bet if you don’t want to risk losing this special relationship you have. Since I've never had such a close friendship like yours I tend to take these situations fairly seriously. I really hope you can remain his best friend whatever way you choose to come out. If you need any advice don’t be afraid to ask. :)

P.S. I’m sorry this took so long. I wasn't online the past few days.
What a coincidence..Today i kind of almost come out to him.

So..Its a long story so i will give the important moments only.
At about noon we saw my ex girlfriend(when i say ex i mean 3-4 years ago, when i wasn't sure if i am gay yet) and he said that she is hot.But i ignored it.Then we went to my village .. and long story short we started talking about gays a some point.. so i without much thinking told him that i am gay.But he didn't take it seriously, he thought i was joking(because he knows that i love joking).After that to the end of the day he brought the subject(not sure if this is the right expression) a couple of times and every time i had a chance i was saying to him that i really am gay.But he still didn't believe it and said:
"You can't be gay, you had girlfriends".... After a couple of times trying to convince him he still didn't believe it he actually asked me "If you are gay,the why don't you have a boyfriend?"...Well tbh what was i supposed to say to a question like that?? Because i am still in closed and I have a crush on you?!He won't beleive me.My second worst nightmare become true.I come out and he didn't beleive me.The only worst scenario is he to believe and reject me.
I don't know what to do...By the way we are still friends we were talking over skype until a couple of minutes and he acts like noting happend.The only different thing i noticed when we were talking over skype is that he was talking about girls a little bit more than usual.

I am not sure if he doesn't believe me or just doesn't want to accept the fact that i am gay.
I am waiting for your advices and please excuse my bad english.

[Living For Love]

You came out to him and he didn't believe. What can you do, then? You can't force him to believe you. It was a very brave decision of you, nevertheless, I guess you now feel more... free and relaxed, although he didn't really believed you. I suggest you give him some time and then maybe start acting like a gay boy in front of him, like commenting on other boys you two see on the street or something. If you have to hear him always talking about girls and their asses, then he can also hear you talking about cute guys. Pay attention if you think he's trying to turn you straight. If this happens, then you should probably never mention the fact that you're gay again to him, because it means that he doesn't like to have a gay friend.

[oneDay]

'"If you are gay, then why don't you have a boyfriend?"' I would have told him "I can't, nobody would approve, including you!" :( Anyway, I think it's great you were able to tell him even if didn't turn out exactly the way you wanted. The next time he asks a question about you being gay tell him you're not comfortable for all the reasons you described before, e.g., discrimination, unacceptance, hostility, etc.. He might sympathize with you since he's given you a hard time in the past. But I wouldn't worry much from here on out; there are much worse reactions to coming out than someone not taking you seriously. You'll be fine. Keep us updated. :)

[petr970]

'"If you are gay, then why don't you have a boyfriend?"' I would have told him "I can't, nobody would approve, including you!" :( Anyway, I think it's great you were able to tell him even if didn't turn out exactly the way you wanted. The next time he asks a question about you being gay tell him you're not comfortable for all the reasons you described before, e.g., discrimination, unacceptance, hostility, etc.. He might sympathize with you since he's given you a hard time in the past. But I wouldn't worry much from here on out; there are much worse reactions to coming out than someone not taking you seriously. You'll be fine. Keep us updated. :)
As far i am confessing, should i tell him that i like him too?My intuition says "yes finish with the coming out already" ,but i don't think i will have the guts to tell him. I almost had a heart attack because of telling him i am gay..

[oneDay]

As far i am confessing, should i tell him that i like him too?My intuition says "yes finish with the coming out already" ,but i don't think i will have the guts to tell him. I almost had a heart attack because of telling him i am gay..

Wait, don't tell him you like him just yet. You'll get your chance once he's aware and comfortable with you being gay. Like I said, you need to act wisely and give him time to absorb the news so he can come to terms with it, if necessary; you don't want to risk anything. I think he won't mind if you like him as long as he knows that you care about his feelings as a friend (and maybe as a crush too). ;)
Let us know what happens.

[petr970]

Wait, don't tell him you like him just yet. You'll get your chance once he's aware and comfortable with you being gay. Like I said, you need to act wisely and give him time to absorb the news so he can come to terms with it, if necessary; you don't want to risk anything. I think he won't mind if you like him as long as he knows that you care about his feelings as a friend (and maybe as a crush too). ;)
Let us know what happens.
I doubt he absorbs anything, he didn't believe me when i told him that i am gay.Anyway i will wait for some time and see what will happen.

P.S.Thank you all for the replies you have been very helpful to me in the last couple of months.I will keep you updated.

[Jakie23]

Give subtle clues. If you can trust him, full out tell him. Thats what I did

[petr970]

I will try. The hardest part is behind me now(coming out to him),even if he doesn't believe me ,he will eventually i guess.I will keep you updated..

[petr970]

OMG.... i can't believe today while talking over skype he asked me if i still like my ex girlfriend (the one i wrote about few days ago).I told him that she was my girlfriend long time ago and that i don't like her anymore.He asked me why,and i told him "you know why i told you few days ago".And after a few times me trying to hint him(without saying the actual word "gay",because my parents was in the other room and i can't risk it) he said that he can't remember.
Is it possible he really to think that i was joking when i told him i am gay and forget it few days later?

[Living For Love]

OMG.... i can't believe today while talking over skype he asked me if i still like my ex girlfriend (the one i wrote about few days ago).I told him that she was my girlfriend long time ago and that i don't like her anymore.He asked me why,and i told him "you know why i told you few days ago".And after a few times me trying to hint him(without saying the actual word "gay",because my parents was in the other room and i can't risk it) he said that he can't remember.
Is it possible he really to think that i was joking when i told him i am gay and forget it few days later?

What, he can't remember!? If he's being serious, then he really didn't believe you when you told him you were gay. I don't know for sure if that's good or bad, but for him you really don't seem the gay type guy. Either that or he's refusing to accept your true sexuality, but I doubt it. He's your friend, he likes you a lot, I don't think he would do that to you.

[petr970]

What, he can't remember!? If he's being serious, then he really didn't believe you when you told him you were gay. I don't know for sure if that's good or bad, but for him you really don't seem the gay type guy. Either that or he's refusing to accept your true sexuality, but I doubt it. He's your friend, he likes you a lot, I don't think he would do that to you.
I don't know what the truth is,but the fact is that i am so confused i don't know what to do anymore ...By the way what did you mean with " I don't think he would do that to you."

[Living For Love]

I don't know what the truth is,but the fact is that i am so confused i don't know what to do anymore ...By the way what did you mean with " I don't think he would do that to you."

What I meant is that, as he is your best friend, he would accept you the way you are, he wouldn't try to convince himself like "No, it's not possible that he's gay." A true friend likes you for the way you are as an unique person, and as he's really a close friend of yours, I don't think he would start to discriminate you for just being gay. You two are have such a close friendship, I don't think he would simply forget all the good and the bad moments he spent with you and end you friendship just because of your sexuality.

[ausley]

Thank you for your answer, but i am confused if he was testing me why didn't he do anything when i said that i don't like her?

So what ended up happening?

[petr970]

So what ended up happening?
Nothing really we just continued watching the movie i think(don't remember exactly it was 3 months ago)

By the way we are not in our best friendship right now..I feel that he doesn't want to hang out with me as much as he wanted before ,he just talks with me over skype.And actually 2 days ago he said he is going to bed, but 1 and a half hour later i saw a funny video in youtube and i decided to send it to him and i saw that he is in invisible mode in skype ,which means that he isn't asleep because his parents don't allow him to leave his computer running while he isn't using it.

[ausley]

So you guys don't talk anymore? Or like what changed? does he believe you now?

[Brice]

These people are all giving really good advice, so I'm not even going to try, but I know how you feel, well sort of anyway. I think I'm bisexual because of things I won't talk about here, but my experience that's similar to this was with a girl. I've never really had any guy friends to do any of this stuff with, so just consider yourself lucky that you even have the friendship you have with him. And he might just need a while, so you should probably give him a few days and then try talking to him again. Sorry, forgot I wasn't advising. Hahaha!!! Good luck!!!

[petr970]

So you guys don't talk anymore?

No sorry i didn't mean it to sound that way .We had a little fight(all friends have from time to time)and when i wrote it i thought that he was tired of me(not sure if this is the right expression) and that our friendship won't be the same anymore,but now after i gave him space for a couple of days he started to call me again and such.. so we are pretty much back to normal...

does he believe you now?
if you mean about the coming out thing, we haven't talked about it so i doubt he even remebers it(like i wrote before)
Good luck!!!
Thanks!I will need it...

[Living For Love]

No sorry i didn't mean it to sound that way .We had a little fight(all friends have from time to time)and when i wrote it i thought that he was tired of me(not sure if this is the right expression) and that our friendship won't be the same anymore,but now after i gave him space for a couple of days he started to call me again and such.. so we are pretty much back to normal...

It's good to know that now you're friends again with him. Pehaps it would be better if you just didn't mention your sexuality again to him, or at least until some time later, because that could be one of the reasons he got temporarily mad at you.

But it was still very brave of you that you actually mentioned it to him, because although he might not believe you, he won't just simply forget about it. Whenever he sees "something gay" on the television or on the Internet, he'll probably remember when you told him you were gay, and that will make him think about it.

After tolding him you were gay, the next step would be telling him you were in love with him, but I guess that's kind of impossible right now. I was wrong when I told you in my first post that he might not be 100% straight, but perhaps he really is.

Just focus now on being close to him like you were before, as a friend, so that he's sure that you actually want to him to be your bestfriend. You could try to become more intimate with him, like instead of giving him a handshake, give him a quick hug instead, and see how he reacts.

[petr970]

We'll see..I am not sure what i should do next .By the way since i met him i am gathering courage to give him a letter in which i describe all my feelings and stuff...I was looking thru different sites and i found a topic similar to mine in which a guy wants to write a letter to his gay crush :
here is the topic if you want to read it (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/39223-letter-my-crush-help-please.html)
So tell me what you think because i can't live like this anymore,but at the same time i am scared to death,because my country is almost at the start of a civil war and xenophobia is one of the leading factors for it(football fans beat everyone who is different gipsy ; homosexual and etc. )..i don't wanna get more political you get what i meant.

[oneDay]

I understand that you want to share your feelings with him but if you feel overwhelmed by the pressures of being in the closet and not having someone to express your feelings with then I'd wait until I could be closer to him. If you want to get all this off your chest then wait until you both can be open and honest enough with each other so he won't judge you. Try to have conversations where nothing is too "weird" or taboo to talk about so there's no awkwardness between the both of you. I think this approach will turn out for the better. :)

By the way, what's his personality really like? I mean, could you describe it or at least give an example that captures his personality best? I think all of us could get a better understanding of him if we could try seeing your friendship through his point of view. Thanks!

[Living For Love]

We'll see..I am not sure what i should do next .By the way since i met him i am gathering courage to give him a letter in which i describe all my feelings and stuff...I was looking thru different sites and i found a topic similar to mine in which a guy wants to write a letter to his gay crush :
here is the topic if you want to read it (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/39223-letter-my-crush-help-please.html)
So tell me what you think because i can't live like this anymore,but at the same time i am scared to death,because my country is almost at the start of a civil war and xenophobia is one of the leading factors for it(football fans beat everyone who is different gipsy ; homosexual and etc. )..i don't wanna get more political you get what i meant.

The letter idea is actually a good one, but remember that's a really big step. He doesn't seem the kind of guy to me that's going to give much attention to a simple letter, but it's a good way to show him how much you love him if you're not confortable with telling him face to face. I really don't know how's he going to react, but just be ready for every scenario possible. Make sure that, in the letter, you state that you really like him, and make him remember all the good moments you two have already had so far. I would suggest, though, to wait a few more days until handle him the letter. Make sure you get even closer to him in the following days, make him happy around you, and then, if you're really desperate and really want him to know your feelings, give him the letter. And I don't think Bulgaria is on the verge of some kind of civil war, so he won't really connect it to your feelings...

[petr970]

Ok, first oneDay thank you for the tips i will keep them in mind.

The letter idea is actually a good one, but remember that's a really big step. He doesn't seem the kind of guy to me that's going to give much attention to a simple letter, but it's a good way to show him how much you love him if you're not confortable with telling him face to face. I really don't know how's he going to react, but just be ready for every scenario possible. Make sure that, in the letter, you state that you really like him, and make him remember all the good moments you two have already had so far. I would suggest, though, to wait a few more days until handle him the letter. Make sure you get even closer to him in the following days, make him happy around you, and then, if you're really desperate and really want him to know your feelings, give him the letter. And I don't think Bulgaria is on the verge of some kind of civil war, so he won't really connect it to your feelings...
I don't want to be rude ,but you don't live here.You see everything that happens here thru media's eyes . I am scared of the possibility to be "kicked out of the closet" if you know what i mean.If he tells even to one person about that letter ,you can be more than sure that everyone will find out that i am gay.And i can't afford that.There are a few people in my school who are openly gay and i see what they have to go thru everyday...So my idea was to write the letter ,but without details which can be linked to me(names and such) and give it to him in person .That way he will know that the letter is from me and if he feels the same way i will have my happy end,but if he doesn't and decides to tell people he won't be able to proof that the letter is from me.I doubt he will tell someone, but like i said i can't risk it.

About the letter- it's just an idea for now..And even if i decide to actualy write it i will need at least 3-4 days to gather my thoughts and write them down properly.

P.S. About his personality he has a great character, a good sence of humor,sporty,he is nice with people and such, his only flaws are that he changes his mind often and that he sometimes asks before he think.

[tisser]

I think his reactions/"disbelief" are the result of his own struggle with his sexuality. He sounds like he himself questions his orientation often, and hearing it from his best friend makes it all the more surreal and difficult to swallow. Maybe it evokes emotions of his own. I would honestly suggest sitting down with him, through Skype or real life, and telling him again that you are gay (don't tell him you like him just yet). At the same time, remind him that you care about him and that he is your best friend and you value his friendship and his acceptance. Reminding him of the extent of your relationship with him will probably make things more...palatable. Just be his friend for now. Don't try to push feelings onto him or anything. Go with the flow.

Best of luck, friend. :)

P.S. You guys seem really close and I'm actually kind of jealous. It sounds like a truly strong bromantic friendship.

[petr970]

Hello again.Another two months passed by..I was considering the different possibilities for the letter (different things to write, different ways to give it to him and such) and finaly i decided to do it by email,cause i didn't have the guts to tell him in person.And i did.This is what i wrote down:
I was trying to tell you something for a year,but I was always resigning in the last moment.Now i decided to start the new year openly.First i want you to know that whatever you decide i will respect your decision.I guess that there isn't an easier way to tell you this so i will tell it to you directly...I am gay and i like you since the first time i saw you.Do whatever you think is best just please don't tell anyone, because i don't want anyone to know yet.
I send it on 31st of Deceber and then called him over the phone and told him to check his email for a letter from a specific email adress and subject.Then i closed the phone and didn't spoke to him until 10th of January(exept when he called me on 1st of January to wish me a happy new year).I am pretty sure that he saw it ,but there are two problems:
1. Few seconds before i close the phone i heard his mom coming in his room.So she might have seen it too.
2.He acts like nothing happend.I mean there is a change in his behavior he doesn't talk about girls now(he mentioned 1 girl for about 10 days),we doesn't talk thru skype of facebook or whatever so often now(still atleast once a day but not for hours like before),also when i make a gay joke or something he thinks it thru more carefully before responding and such.
I know that you guys told me not to write the letter ,but i just couldn't keep it to myself anymore.I am pretty sure that most of you know that feeling.

This is the shortest way i could describe the situation now.Please excuse my poor english.

P.S.What to do now?Should i talk to him about it face to face or something like that..?

[Living For Love]

Hello again.Another two months passed by..I was considering the different possibilities for the letter (different things to write, different ways to give it to him and such) and finaly i decided to do it by email,cause i didn't have the guts to tell him in person.And i did.This is what i wrote down:

I send it on 31st of Deceber and then called him over the phone and told him to check his email for a letter from a specific email adress and subject.Then i closed the phone and didn't spoke to him until 10th of January(exept when he called me on 1st of January to wish me a happy new year).I am pretty sure that he saw it ,but there are two problems:
1. Few seconds before i close the phone i heard his mom coming in his room.So she might have seen it too.
2.He acts like nothing happend.I mean there is a change in his behavior he doesn't talk about girls now(he mentioned 1 girl for about 10 days),we doesn't talk thru skype of facebook or whatever so often now(still atleast once a day but not for hours like before),also when i make a gay joke or something he thinks it thru more carefully before responding and such.
I know that you guys told me not to write the letter ,but i just couldn't keep it to myself anymore.I am pretty sure that most of you know that feeling.

This is the shortest way i could describe the situation now.Please excuse my poor english.

P.S.What to do now?Should i talk to him about it face to face or something like that..?

Yes, definitely, you should try to meet him face to face. You have already gone this far, you can't just give up now. You need to meet him and ask him if he saw the e-mail, and then ask him what does he think of it. I mean, he can't just pretend it didn't mean nothing to him, or that you were just joking with him or something. You need to know what his feelings are, and hope that things just turn out good for you two, even if he's straight, your friendship is just too strong and valuable to end because of that e-mail. You did the right thing, don't worry, but make sure you talk to him about this.

[petr970]

Okay after almost a year of knowing him i got an answer of my question.He isn't gay :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:.We were talking over skype and i bring up an lgbt subject and after a few minutes of talking he said:
"Is this your way of asking me if i saw that email?"
I responded "No(because it really wasn't my purpose)but i am glad that you saw it and i will undestand if you don't want to be friends anymore."
He said "Well it is not normal and really bugs me but i don't think that we shouldn't be friends anymore."I told him that i wanted to tell him from the beginig, but i didn't had the guts.He then responded that he knew, since at least July,but he didn't wanted me to know that he knew.So i guess its time for me to move on...:mad:I am really sorry for the way things happened ,but life sucks and we have no other choise but to deal with it... By the way i hope that the others reading this subject wont have my luck.Once again thank you all for your help over the months i really appreciate it.I guess that this is a goodbye..

Excuse my bad english it isn't my mothers language.
P.S. I will be glad if this subject does not get deleted.I think that it would be a big help for the others.