My best friend TOLD me to cut.

[Silent Tears]

So, I basically have 1 friend. She's my best friend, and I even had a thing for her a while back. It ended horribly. <_< Anyways, we tell each other a lot of stuff. Even that we both cut. We(me, her, another girl) were discussing how we self harm, and I said how my dad made me quit cutting 8 months ago. My best friend told me that she thinks I should still cut myself. The other girl and I looked shocked, and she explained that if I wanted to, that my father can't stop me and I should cut myself. She said it many times... this wasn't the first time she said it, either. It's not like she was trying to be a bitch or anything. She wasn't like taunting me or anything. She just honest to god thought I should cut myself.

A while back, she told me that she thinks it's okay for her to cut herself, but NOT anyone else. I agreed. We often don't want others to hurt themselves.

So, she doesn't want anyone else to cut herself... but tells me that I should? What the hell. :what: This honestly, hurt me. She didn't care enough about me, enough to NOT want me to cut. She tells other friends not to cut... but tells me I should. What the heck? This honestly hurts like hell. Every time I used to cut, I wished for someone to care enough to ASK me to stop. For someone to say that they can't stand to see me hurt myself. My own father didn't say this to me. He made it about himself. And, my best friend thinks I SHOULD hurt myself. I've been fighting not to relapse. I have no one to turn to :( No one that cares... the only thing keeping me together is music, right now. How could EVERYONE not care about me? My own fucking family doesn't. Not my only friend. Am I that horrible? All I want is a friend :( One that will hug me, and tell me that they don't want me to hurt myself. Someone that will give a damn if I'm gone. I'm just a waste of fucking space. "Taking up precious oxygen" As someone once told me.

[1_21Guns]

I think because she thinks it helps her, she thinks it'll help you, or at least thats what I'd like to think. I don't think you should relapse, 8 months is brilliant, like really really good. I'm not sure why she'd say such a thing but I'm sure she does care about you. You're not a waste of space, you're a human being that's entitled to every drop of oxygen you breathe, keep fighting, you're doing really well :hug3:

[Castle of Glass]

I agree with everything that Natalie(1_21Guns) said. Your "friend" knows you use to cut(from how i read it) and knows that you have gone 8 months without it. So I believe she thinks that if you start cutting again, you will become more "stable" or something like that.

But NO you are not "Taking up precious oxygen"!!! You are taking taking up the space and precious oxygen you deserve and have a right to. keep fighting and you will do fine. We are here to help you :hug:

[suicidalbutter]

it's possible because you are her best friend that perhaps she wants to share everything with you, including an addiction to cutting. Stay strong, don't relapse. I might be a stranger, but I don't think anyone should self-harm. Even if I don't know them I wouldn't wish this addiction on anyone. That includes you. You're doing well with not cutting, don't give a crap about what anyone around you thinks. If you feel like you have no one to turn to, then don't cut FOR YOU! it's not worth it. You've gone 8 months without it, you can go longer! <3

You are not wasting precious oxygen. You are human, just like everyone else. You need it as much as the next person. Don't listen to the person who told you that. That person is a jerkface.

The VT people care. We don't want to see you go down that path again, even if we don't know you we know what the addiction feels like enough to not want you or anyone else to experience it or relapse into it all again. <3