Is this abuse?

[Tarannosaurus]

I'd just like some outside perspective. I know many people have had it much worse but this has caused me a lot of stress. First off he didn't rape me or make me touch him sexually. It's just been these continuous little incidents with my father for the last 3 years, from when I started puberty. I suppose what I basically want to know is 1. Is this classed as abuse or am I overreacting? and 2. What can I do about it?
So this started about the time I hit puberty at first I wasn't aware of him treating me differently. One day the shower in the bathroom stopped working so I had to use the one in my parents' room. I explained this to them so they knew I was in their shower. While I was in the shower my father came in he was like "oh I forgot you were in here" then left. This happened again a few days later but I noticed he quickly glanced over my body. Soon this was happening every day (this doesn't happen now the shower got fixed and I always lock the door). This lasted about a year and I started noticing him looking at my chest and he got more 'touchy-feely'. I have a faint memory of him touching me two years ago but I was half asleep at the time and not sure if it actually happened. His hugs and looks made me feel dirty and comments about how we should get married and that I should work in a cocktail bar and wear a mini skirt. This continued with more incidents but I'm just giving a few examples. It stopped for a while but then we went on a family holiday and my family went to a bar downstairs in the hotel. After a while he came back up possibly a bit drunk he went out to the balcony and called me out, went over to the edge and said "hey tara do you see that over there?" I went to see what he was talking about then he pushed me up to the bars and pushed up right behind me up against my body it felt horrible and I pulled away and went inside. He followed me yelling stuff like "ignorant pig" and that I was "disobedient" he went away after a while and told some lie to my mother when they came back I tried telling her and she said "I'm sure you deserved it". I have no idea what he thought he was going to do to me. So no major incidents since then just the looks and comments and sometimes trying to brush against me ( I lash out when he tries hugging me I really can't put up with that) . It makes me feel horrible though and I'm stuck at home for another 3 years dependent on them. I know this has gotten a bit long winded but i'd appreciate your point of view. Oh also none of my friends or their parents like my parents and I think they maybe get the feeling of what he's like and my mother doesn't like 'interfering'.

[dBxdt]

It definitely sounds like abuse. That's no way a father or indeed any adult should treat another person, let alone their child. Someone should interfere I say, maybe you could talk your mother into it? Confront her with the facts. Or someone else, a friend (friend's parents) you trust or another family member? This shouldn't be happening.

[1_21Guns]

That does sound like abuse in my opinion, if it's making you feel like this then of course it is, the main thing you could do about it is talk to someone, clearly not your mother but another adult you trust, maybe even your friends parents? You certainly shouldn't have to put up with things like that, particularly not of someone who's supposed to love and protect you, I'd reach out and get help before it escalates hun :hug3:

[conniption]

You should talk to an adult about it immidietly. Your mom might suspect something and she won't fully know until you talk to her about it. Right now it's just looks, comments, and small touches but it could one day turn into something much more serious. Wish you best, Tara.

[ovoxo23]

I'd just like some outside perspective. I know many people have had it much worse but this has caused me a lot of stress. First off he didn't rape me or make me touch him sexually. It's just been these continuous little incidents with my father for the last 3 years, from when I started puberty. I suppose what I basically want to know is 1. Is this classed as abuse or am I overreacting? and 2. What can I do about it?
So this started about the time I hit puberty at first I wasn't aware of him treating me differently. One day the shower in the bathroom stopped working so I had to use the one in my parents' room. I explained this to them so they knew I was in their shower. While I was in the shower my father came in he was like "oh I forgot you were in here" then left. This happened again a few days later but I noticed he quickly glanced over my body. Soon this was happening every day (this doesn't happen now the shower got fixed and I always lock the door). This lasted about a year and I started noticing him looking at my chest and he got more 'touchy-feely'. I have a faint memory of him touching my breasts but I was half asleep at the time and not sure if it actually happened. His hugs and looks made me feel dirty and comments about how we should get married and that I should work in a cocktail bar and wear a mini skirt. This continued with more incidents but I'm just giving a few examples. It stopped for a while but then we went on a family holiday and my family went to a bar downstairs in the hotel. After a while he came back up possibly a bit drunk he went out to the balcony and called me out, went over to the edge and said "hey tara do you see that over there?" I went to see what he was talking about then he pushed me up to the bars and pushed up right behind me up against my body it felt horrible and I pulled away and went inside. He followed me yelling stuff like "ignorant pig" and that I was "disobedient" he went away after a while and told some lie to my mother when they came back I tried telling her and she said "I'm sure you deserved it". I have no idea what he thought he was going to do to me. So no major incidents since then just the looks and comments and sometimes trying to brush against me ( I lash out when he tries hugging me I really can't put up with that) . It makes me feel horrible though and I'm stuck at home for another 3 years dependent on them. I know this has gotten a bit long winded but i'd appreciate your point of view. Oh also none of my friends or their parents like my parents and I think they maybe get the feeling of what he's like and my mother doesn't like 'interfering'.

That sounds like abuse and sexual harassment. I think you should talk to an adult about it.

[Tarannosaurus]

Thank you all so much for replying <3 I absolutely trust my best friend and her parents but they have just gone through something really traumatic (their son drowned).I could talk to a teacher but one thing I'm worried about is if they meaning well decided to talk to my mother. She would definately tell my father and I'm sure it would get worse. I doubt this could put him in jail and if it got around I'd still have to deal with him.

[handle with care]

that is definitely sounds like abuse to me

[uglyinsideandout]

You're in a bad situation. I wish I could tell you something that would help, but I failed at fixing the same problem for myself so... yeah. Good luck though.

[suicidalbutter]

It definitely sounds like abuse, and a little sexual harassment. If your mother doesn't want to "interfere" then maybe you should talk to one of your friends' mom about it. I'm sure someone will help you if you talk to them. You shouldn't have to live uncomfortable and feel like this for the next three years.

[gabzas331]

Don't worry about your parents finding out. Your dad won't be able to hurt you if you tell someone - the teacher would be best!

[Tarannosaurus]

Thanks again guys if something else happens I might tell a teacher about it.