Getting carried away...

[EternalSadness]

When I cut I just want more. I don't feel guilt, shame, happiness, anything... I just want more. And this feeling doesn't go away over time, it's scaring me quite a lot actually...

[1_21Guns]

That's unfortunately what comes with addiction, if it's scaring you try to quit, it's honestly not worth what you get from it

[suicidalbutter]

That's the addictive part of the urge. You always end up wanting more even though you know you shouldn't. I would try to fight the urge to cut. Don't give in so easily. It'll take a lot of hard work to stop, but it'll be worth it in the end.

[uglyinsideandout]

Have to agree it's the addiction calling to you. It never gets any better on its own, it always wants more. Feed it or fight it.

[EternalSadness]

That's unfortunately what comes with addiction, if it's scaring you try to quit, it's honestly not worth what you get from it

But I can't quit, if I give up cutting, then I feel like I'll be giving up on myself too because I can't do anything else as an outlet that works. :( it's worth keeping me alive isnt it?

That's the addictive part of the urge. You always end up wanting more even though you know you shouldn't. I would try to fight the urge to cut. Don't give in so easily. It'll take a lot of hard work to stop, but it'll be worth it in the end.

But I would've thought the addictive part would go away over time when I haven't cut, this feeling doesn't...

Have to agree it's the addiction calling to you. It never gets any better on its own, it always wants more. Feed it or fight it.

I can't fight it if I have no willpower... :(

[1_21Guns]

But I can't quit, if I give up cutting, then I feel like I'll be giving up on myself too because I can't do anything else as an outlet that works. :( it's worth keeping me alive isnt it?

addictions don't go away, or at least not without one hell of a fight. Giving up wouldn't be giving up on yourself at all, it would be taking steps to get better, to start feeling better in yourself. Of course undoubtedly self harm would be a better alternative to suicide, it's not keeping you alive, it's slowly eating away at you and piece by piece it'll pull you apart.

[EternalSadness]

addictions don't go away, or at least not without one hell of a fight. Giving up wouldn't be giving up on yourself at all, it would be taking steps to get better, to start feeling better in yourself. Of course undoubtedly self harm would be a better alternative to suicide, it's not keeping you alive, it's slowly eating away at you and piece by piece it'll pull you apart.

Without cutting I'll get worse I know it, and a slow death from cutting is better than an immediate one from giving up cutting and having no outlets though, right?

[1_21Guns]

Without cutting I'll get worse I know it, and a slow death from cutting is better than an immediate one from giving up cutting and having no outlets though, right?

You will have other more positive outlets, you just have to open yourself up to them instead of feeling like nothing will work :hug3:

[EternalSadness]

You will have other more positive outlets, you just have to open yourself up to them instead of feeling like nothing will work :hug3:

No, music, drawing, etc. don't do anything for me anymore. I feel nothing works because NOTHING DOES work. :/

[suicidalbutter]

the addictive part is the urge. which is the feeling you are probably having right now. Play a video game, or call a friend. Do anything you can to take the mind off harming. The urge won't go away completely for awhile. It'll grow stronger at first, but once you hit a week (or however long you set for yourself) without harming it'll lessen. maybe not a whole lot but it'll lessen.

A good tip I received once:

Try not harming for a day. When you make it through that day, try another day.
IF you fail, don't give up.
Start over. try for a day again, then try not to for three days.
Keep trying and restarting till you reach a week of no harm.

If you can reach a full week of no harm, that's an excellent start. When you reach the 1 week no harm try to go for another week. If you fail. Start over from trying not to cut for a week instead of just a day. By then you have already proven you have the ability. You just need to be able to fight the urge.

Eventually you will have gone a month with only harming a few times instead of every day or every other day (however many times you do harm). It's not going to be easy to stop, but you can at least try.

[DDAx]

No, music, drawing, etc. don't do anything for me anymore. I feel nothing works because NOTHING DOES work. :/

What I think helps is opening yourself to peoples love. Like, If you learn to see that people love your company, You'll have more fun, and hopefully, be more happy. I found a date helps too, Just saying! ;)

[EternalSadness]

the addictive part is the urge. which is the feeling you are probably having right now. Play a video game, or call a friend. Do anything you can to take the mind off harming. The urge won't go away completely for awhile. It'll grow stronger at first, but once you hit a week (or however long you set for yourself) without harming it'll lessen. maybe not a whole lot but it'll lessen.

A good tip I received once:

Try not harming for a day. When you make it through that day, try another day.
IF you fail, don't give up.
Start over. try for a day again, then try not to for three days.
Keep trying and restarting till you reach a week of no harm.

If you can reach a full week of no harm, that's an excellent start. When you reach the 1 week no harm try to go for another week. If you fail. Start over from trying not to cut for a week instead of just a day. By then you have already proven you have the ability. You just need to be able to fight the urge.

Eventually you will have gone a month with only harming a few times instead of every day or every other day (however many times you do harm). It's not going to be easy to stop, but you can at least try.

But the urge doesn't go away if I leave it and give it time or if I do something else! And there is nothing else I can use as an outlet I don't have friends, games don't make me better. I do try not to, I've spent days this week trying not to, I've spent weeks before but it just doesn't go away! :( no matter how much or how little I harm it just doesn't go away.

[EternalSadness]

What I think helps is opening yourself to peoples love. Like, If you learn to see that people love your company, You'll have more fun, and hopefully, be more happy. I found a date helps too, Just saying! ;)

Ha well nobody loves me for who I am really but yeah I get what you're saying! :)

[uglyinsideandout]

Without cutting I'll get worse I know it, and a slow death from cutting is better than an immediate one from giving up cutting and having no outlets though, right?

I feel the same way, but I just got an ultimatum to quit cutting or lose where I live. I really don't want to end up in foster care so I've got to try to quit somehow. And I have the same problems with not being good at anything or having any real friends except a few I've met on here, but honestly none in RL.

Anyway, I know this probably doesn't help you but at least you know you're not all alone in this.

[suicidalbutter]

You're going to hate my idea. but maybe you should ask someone for help? like your mom or your dad? I know that seems like a horrible idea, and maybe you have a reason for not coming out to them. but if the addiction is scaring you and you have no willpower to not harm, it might be time to try to get help from an adult. I'm in no means telling you that you have to, i'm only suggesting it.

[uglyinsideandout]

It is kinda a relief when people know.

[EternalSadness]

I feel the same way, but I just got an ultimatum to quit cutting or lose where I live. I really don't want to end up in foster care so I've got to try to quit somehow. And I have the same problems with not being good at anything or having any real friends except a few I've met on here, but honestly none in RL.

Anyway, I know this probably doesn't help you but at least you know you're not all alone in this.

Yeah I understand, there's a chance I could get put into care if people found out.