Why am I so alone?

[ZephyrMaddie]

Hey guys..first post..woohoo. Now, ive had depression for maybe..2 years now, and I've been really really lonely..my "best" friend left me at a amusement park field trip and blamed me, so I went home early..he called me a whore and a cunt aswell..im not friends with him anymore but the scars are still there..I have no friends in school, im just that weird depressed gamer girl. :/ My skype is literally empty..I get no IMs at all..I just want someone to talk to me..but I doubt it..a long distance relationship recently ended because I was "too unstable" when all I wanted was to talk to him...but oh well..Everythings always my fault..and I cry every night because I know no one acknowledges me..Nor do I think anyone will love me or does love me..

[Extreme586]

Hey don't say that. You and I are a lot alike in the gamer sense. I play WoW myself and it is literally my life. Too the point where I push everyone away and am lonely because of it. I don't really have any friends in school either because I started being so awkward a year or so ago, my depression has lasted a lot longer than that too.

If you want to meet new people you have to just be uncensored and feel free to say whatever you want. Making friends usually comes from laughing and having a good time. I hold myself back a lot and am seen as shy and quiet because of it. In reality I am just too honest and probably would come across as mean or gossipy to people. The fear of not being able to meeting new people and make friends is what really stops me from doing anything about my situation.

Another thing I noticed that helps with confidence is if you tell yourself things that you like about yourself in a mirror in the morning for like 5 minutes, or at night before you go to bed. Then go over the things you don't like and how your going to fix them or if you can't, just learn to get over them and tell yourself their not a big deal. Outweigh the negative with the positive.

For example, I tell myself that I really like how I look. I like the unique color of my eyes and how they light up my face especially when I smile. I don't like my acne, sometimes it's really noticeable and sometimes I am really clear. Overall I truly believe my good qualities outweigh my bad ones, which I work on fixing all the time anyways. Meeting friends has so much more to do with personality anyways and being up front and confident with who you are as a person. Work on that by yourself and then go out there and try your best to find someone you like to hang out with.

[1_21Guns]

Hey guys..first post..woohoo. Now, ive had depression for maybe..2 years now, and I've been really really lonely..my "best" friend left me at a amusement park field trip and blamed me, so I went home early..he called me a whore and a cunt aswell..im not friends with him anymore but the scars are still there..I have no friends in school, im just that weird depressed gamer girl. :/ My skype is literally empty..I get no IMs at all..I just want someone to talk to me..but I doubt it..a long distance relationship recently ended because I was "too unstable" when all I wanted was to talk to him...but oh well..Everythings always my fault..and I cry every night because I know no one acknowledges me..Nor do I think anyone will love me or does love me..

Hey there Maddie, welcome to VT :)
Frankly that's a really bad friend and it's probably a good thing you're not friends anymore, that doesn't sound like the sort of person you'd want to surround yourself with. I know having no friends is terrible I really do but you sort of have to build yourself back up again, think to yourself okay I'm alone but that's okay I can manage like this just fine and it gets a lot easier, of course that doesn't compare to having friends but sometimes it's nice to know you're okay on your own too, then just build your confidence up again, try talking to new people, good people, find similarities. I know how easy it is to run off into the gaming world, I often found and even still find myself rolling around in RPG's because well it's easy to be someone else for a while and that's okay, if games are your way of dealing with things then that's okay. If your boyfriend left you for being too unstable I don't think he was a very good boyfriend and you can do a lot better than that!
I like Austin's suggestion of looking in the mirror and choosing things you like about yourself, I think that would help a lot. Just try and keep your head high, even if you don't really feel like it it's worth being positive :)

[EternalSadness]

The people above know what they're talking about!! :) wanting to talk to the person you love does not make you unstable at all!! It's what a decent relationship needs! At the very least he should've just told you to calm down if he had a problem with it, but it's not your fault for loving the guy! You don't need friends like that or lovers like that!! Let them be the past and try to shape a future without people like that, because all there doing is bringing a wonderful girl down! :)

[plebble]

Hey guys..first post..woohoo. Now, ive had depression for maybe..2 years now, and I've been really really lonely..my "best" friend left me at a amusement park field trip and blamed me, so I went home early..he called me a whore and a cunt aswell..im not friends with him anymore but the scars are still there..I have no friends in school, im just that weird depressed gamer girl. :/ My skype is literally empty..I get no IMs at all..I just want someone to talk to me..but I doubt it..a long distance relationship recently ended because I was "too unstable" when all I wanted was to talk to him...but oh well..Everythings always my fault..and I cry every night because I know no one acknowledges me..Nor do I think anyone will love me or does love me..

Oh man it kills me to see people like this. I'm just like you, no one wants to talk to me ever. 1 person started a conversation with me on Facebook within the last 3 weeks, the rest I have started. I have hardly any friends due to my social awkwardness and I wish I wasn't so shy all the time.
I'd be more than happy to help you and discuss this with you :)

[Versae]

I have been there. I felt that. But now I'm okay. I have 3 weird friends like me. You just have to be an effective listener to anyone and they can do the same for you.