Gandalf
August 8th, 2013, 07:32 AM
I'm hopping on the poetry band wagon, I've quietly written before but never felt confident enough in my own writing ability to share it. I got to the end of this and felt somewhat satisfied....
In the world of the solitary eye
we exist enough to just get by.
The days slither onward like a slug
when all we really desire is a hug.
A little reminder that we're decent
helps fade the pain both far and recent.
But the right situation never arises,
that would allow us to find pleasant surprises.
We struggle on against the tide,
avoiding that which makes us horrified.
The fear is such that binds the chains
restricting opportunities and constricting veins.
Nothing ever seems to change:
Filling time with quirkiness and being strange.
Hoping it's enough to see me through.
Until leaving next September in morning dew.
On an adventure, to pastures new.
On an adventure, to pastures new.
The only issue I have with this is the penultimate stanza, I'm not keen on the similarity of rhyme between the first two lines and the next two. I was contemplating altering that but I felt it's more eloquent and consistent as it is.
In the world of the solitary eye
we exist enough to just get by.
The days slither onward like a slug
when all we really desire is a hug.
A little reminder that we're decent
helps fade the pain both far and recent.
But the right situation never arises,
that would allow us to find pleasant surprises.
We struggle on against the tide,
avoiding that which makes us horrified.
The fear is such that binds the chains
restricting opportunities and constricting veins.
Nothing ever seems to change:
Filling time with quirkiness and being strange.
Hoping it's enough to see me through.
Until leaving next September in morning dew.
On an adventure, to pastures new.
On an adventure, to pastures new.
The only issue I have with this is the penultimate stanza, I'm not keen on the similarity of rhyme between the first two lines and the next two. I was contemplating altering that but I felt it's more eloquent and consistent as it is.