Blueeyes
August 5th, 2013, 07:44 PM
Haiii everyone. So I have anxiety, basically chronic anxiety. I'm not 'officially' diagnosed with such, but I do have all the symptoms and my mom agrees that I do as well. I'd like to consider myself as an easy-going, rather 'street smart' individual. I have mostly hands-on skills, working with computers and automotive stuff and I do have some knowledge when it comes to investing and stuff like that. I have a girlfriend who i've been with over a year now, she's been by my side and always been there for me when I need her. Anyways, who cares about that.
I go to a private high school, very, very, few students... we are talking >20 from grade 9-12 lol. Reason is, the principal likes to know their students well and keep the student to teacher ratio... quite low. The school doesn't have the funding nor the teachers to run the courses themselves, therefore most (like english, math, science, geography, etc) courses are online and people run the courses. Quite simply, the assignments are 'complete at your own pace, no due dates and crap like that'. Whether that's a good thing or not, it's what it is. Other 'physical(?)' courses like art and gym are accredited by the private school themselves.
Grade 9 I fell behind, quite a bit. I was lucky back in middle school I took a grade 9/10 course in computers and managed to finish that, so that gave me a grade 9 credit I didn't have to do. But I had to finish off 3 more that I didn't until grade 10 september. It is now the end of grade 10, halfway in the summer and I'm still a bit behind (working on my last 3) math, english and geography. I suck, at math, hardcore. Most people think Good in computers = good in math. In my case: Good in computers ≠ good in math. My average is in the high 70s, where my other courses I'm in the mid to high 80s (I take all academic BTW). I'm receiving extensive help in the summer for my math and finishing off my other courses. I was supposed to go to work, but I decided not to and finish my courses so I'm no longer behind. My parents don't exactly agree with this, no idea why... I'm putting school first lol. I'm currently applying to stores for part time in the school year.
I've had a lot of pressure on me. I've really wanted to go to this school. I'll be honest, I really enjoy it. My knack with computers has put me as a network admin in the school, not payed of course :lol: but I have 350+ volunteer hours currently. Not to brag.
My parents couldn't afford for me to go to the school. They never paid, my grandfather did. He said he didn't want to pay for grade 11 (upcoming year), but I spent hours talking with him and getting him to pay for it (He has the money, he just doesn't want to spend it). So that was a burden on me... finally lifted.
I'm behind in school, another burden. I have anxiety which results in excessive worrying and panic.... another burden. I'm taking academic courses online. These courses are much more difficult compared to the average high school academic course. It requires complete focus. Which, I don't always have when I have high anxiety levels. It's sort of a horrible cycle.
I'm worked up because I cant do work = I can't do work because I'm worked up.
It sucks. Think of that, I get NOWHERE!
I went to my doctor with the advice of my mom to talk about my feelings and stuff. My doctor's end suggestion was... relax a bit, go out with friends, maybe have a few drinks and try to relax.
...My doctor... telling me to have a few drinks lol. So I did, I had a good time, don't get me wrong, but I still came home... all anxious because I should of done some work.
I have some meds I'm taking, natural crap. I had panic attacks, they're gone now, which is good. But I'm still over-worrying.
My goal is to finish high school, a scholarship or at least a bursary or two to a local university and get a couple degrees. I would like to run my own business of some sort.
I don't know what I should do about this worrying. I know i'm behind, I'm working as much as I can... but there isnt.. I don't know, a release of some sort. Any tips or suggestions?
Edit: holy shit, hope you don't mind the novel.
I go to a private high school, very, very, few students... we are talking >20 from grade 9-12 lol. Reason is, the principal likes to know their students well and keep the student to teacher ratio... quite low. The school doesn't have the funding nor the teachers to run the courses themselves, therefore most (like english, math, science, geography, etc) courses are online and people run the courses. Quite simply, the assignments are 'complete at your own pace, no due dates and crap like that'. Whether that's a good thing or not, it's what it is. Other 'physical(?)' courses like art and gym are accredited by the private school themselves.
Grade 9 I fell behind, quite a bit. I was lucky back in middle school I took a grade 9/10 course in computers and managed to finish that, so that gave me a grade 9 credit I didn't have to do. But I had to finish off 3 more that I didn't until grade 10 september. It is now the end of grade 10, halfway in the summer and I'm still a bit behind (working on my last 3) math, english and geography. I suck, at math, hardcore. Most people think Good in computers = good in math. In my case: Good in computers ≠ good in math. My average is in the high 70s, where my other courses I'm in the mid to high 80s (I take all academic BTW). I'm receiving extensive help in the summer for my math and finishing off my other courses. I was supposed to go to work, but I decided not to and finish my courses so I'm no longer behind. My parents don't exactly agree with this, no idea why... I'm putting school first lol. I'm currently applying to stores for part time in the school year.
I've had a lot of pressure on me. I've really wanted to go to this school. I'll be honest, I really enjoy it. My knack with computers has put me as a network admin in the school, not payed of course :lol: but I have 350+ volunteer hours currently. Not to brag.
My parents couldn't afford for me to go to the school. They never paid, my grandfather did. He said he didn't want to pay for grade 11 (upcoming year), but I spent hours talking with him and getting him to pay for it (He has the money, he just doesn't want to spend it). So that was a burden on me... finally lifted.
I'm behind in school, another burden. I have anxiety which results in excessive worrying and panic.... another burden. I'm taking academic courses online. These courses are much more difficult compared to the average high school academic course. It requires complete focus. Which, I don't always have when I have high anxiety levels. It's sort of a horrible cycle.
I'm worked up because I cant do work = I can't do work because I'm worked up.
It sucks. Think of that, I get NOWHERE!
I went to my doctor with the advice of my mom to talk about my feelings and stuff. My doctor's end suggestion was... relax a bit, go out with friends, maybe have a few drinks and try to relax.
...My doctor... telling me to have a few drinks lol. So I did, I had a good time, don't get me wrong, but I still came home... all anxious because I should of done some work.
I have some meds I'm taking, natural crap. I had panic attacks, they're gone now, which is good. But I'm still over-worrying.
My goal is to finish high school, a scholarship or at least a bursary or two to a local university and get a couple degrees. I would like to run my own business of some sort.
I don't know what I should do about this worrying. I know i'm behind, I'm working as much as I can... but there isnt.. I don't know, a release of some sort. Any tips or suggestions?
Edit: holy shit, hope you don't mind the novel.