Shouldn't come out at all?

[teenmanchester]

No I don't mean stay in the closet at all. But one thing I've learnt growing up is that most people want to be treated the same as everybody else whether they are disabled, gay, religious etc anything that makes you slightly different. So why do people who are gay like myself have to follow the stereotype of 'coming out'? Can't I just randomly bring home someone and say "This is my boyfriend..."? I truly understand the need for people to come out and I have tried several times but does that need to happen? Why put yourself under so much pressure to have to look someone in the eye and tell them you're different. Is that any of there business? Some people could say that this idea of just one day being open without telling someone directly is cowardly and that coming out is true bravery but I don't think like that at all. People make their own way through life and the way they handle things are different. Most people I know who are openly gay always get asked "When did you come out?". And I just think why is that a necessary part of being gay? So does anyone agree with what I say about possibly being closeted until one day just being open or having that conversation with one or several people? I get that I may get called because of this but I think this is an question that doesn't come up much and in the world we live in where being gay, bi, les, trans etc is becoming more of a social norm, as people we shouldn't have to do what is now a stereotype.

[NikosamA98]

Well, i guess its because being gay is like, a shock to everyone else. If your dad expected you to get a girlfriend and you suddenly bring him a boyfriend and he has like no idea you are gay, what do you think could happen? And you tell your friends because you trust em and its kinda funny sometimes. Another reason could be that,personally, I prefer telling my friends that I'm gay than being tell by my friends that I'm gay.

Anyways, I like the "coming out" thing, maybe someone thinks different over here so come and leave your opinion!! :P

[ElectricRose]

Hmm, well as long as you feel most comfortable not coming out, then don't.

[xxbiohazzardxx]

If you feel better keeping yourself locked up then just do whatever you want to do. Facing the fear of coming out can be horrific for some. If and whenever you do decide to come out there are lots of people here who can and probably will support you :)
Good luck

[Obsidian]

I hope this doesn't make me sound like a total bitch, because I totally believe that gay people deserve all the rights as straight people, and I think they should be accepted completely by society. But I don't think that being gay will ever really be seen as normal as being straight, no matter how accepted it becomes. It would be awesome if it could be, but I just have difficulty seeing that happen. People will always have the opinion that it's normal for a man to be with a woman and it's not as normal for a man to be with a man or a woman to be with another woman. I know that one day being gay will be more accepted by society, because that's the way it should be. But I don't think the idea of having to come out will ever go away because people will always see being straight as the way it's 'supposed to be.'

That being said, though, I think that you should do whatever makes you comfortable. If you don't want to come out and you'd rather bring a boyfriend home and not make a big deal out of it then you should be able to. That should be your choice entirely.

[steellord321]

Probably in cases where you've been hiding it from someone for possibly years, there's a desire to come out, not just show up with a date acting like you haven't been hiding it. That seems really awkward to me. I can see doing this in college though if you have a guy over and weren't really ever in the closet.

[Magenta]

No, this is perfectly okay. I never came out of the closet either. Honestly, I was never in the closet. When I dated a girl for the first time, I didn't make a fuss over it. I told my mum and dad that I had a girlfriend, that was it. I was a little nervous, not because I felt there was anything wrong but because everyone else made me feel like 'coming out' was such a terrifying thing. But I never really 'came out'. Even when I was little, I made it very clear I liked both guys and girls. I didn't see a reason to hide it and I still don't. I've been teased a little but I've mostly told those people to bugger off. I don't see myself as 'different' from them. I mean, of all my problems, being bi is not one of them in my mind and I don't see why I should make a fuss over it when really, it's no one's business unless they're interested in dating me or they're trying to get in my pants.

I don't think the act of coming out is true bravery. True bravery is accepting who you are and being comfortable enough with yourself to show it in whatever way you feel works best for you. If that means coming out, by all means do so. But if you simply just want to go on with your life and not mention it until there's reason to (e.g. you bring someone home with you), there's nothing wrong with that. It's not cowardly at all. Personally, I'm a quiet person. The whole concept of LGBT+ pride is just something I don't partake in because it draws attention to me. Some people like it and some people feel better about themselves for being able to say to the world that they are who they are. I just prefer a more subtle approach.

[maylanhchinhhang]

good luck.....................:))))

[Pierce]

No I don't mean stay in the closet at all. But one thing I've learnt growing up is that most people want to be treated the same as everybody else whether they are disabled, gay, religious etc anything that makes you slightly different. So why do people who are gay like myself have to follow the stereotype of 'coming out'? Can't I just randomly bring home someone and say "This is my boyfriend..."? I truly understand the need for people to come out and I have tried several times but does that need to happen? Why put yourself under so much pressure to have to look someone in the eye and tell them you're different. Is that any of there business? Some people could say that this idea of just one day being open without telling someone directly is cowardly and that coming out is true bravery but I don't think like that at all. People make their own way through life and the way they handle things are different. Most people I know who are openly gay always get asked "When did you come out?". And I just think why is that a necessary part of being gay? So does anyone agree with what I say about possibly being closeted until one day just being open or having that conversation with one or several people? I get that I may get called because of this but I think this is an question that doesn't come up much and in the world we live in where being gay, bi, les, trans etc is becoming more of a social norm, as people we shouldn't have to do what is now a stereotype.

This is how I plan "coming out". Notice I still use that phrase because whether you come out slowly and act like it's no big deal, like you mentioned, or straight up tell everyone you know you're gay at the same time so they can get over it, it all means the same thing. I plan on coming out slowly and acting like it's not a big deal. I'm not going to force myself to come out to all my family and friends and hug and all that shit, that's uncomfortable to me. Maybe if you treat it like it's not a big deal others will follow suit. Thanks for bringing this up.