A Promise.

[screamtobeheard]

Last night, my boyfriend and I had a very long night. I got about 2.5 hours of sleep. We were both in really rough shape, but by the end of it, he'd promised that he'd never commit suicide. After that, he asked me to make the same promise, as well as one to never hurt myself again. I had no problem promising that I'd never attempt suicide again. I've realized that I could never hurt him like that, but I can't just promise that I'll never cut again. Or bite or scratch or burn or starve myself. I've been trying not to hurt myself much, and doing well, but I just don't think I can make a promise not to, and I don't think it's fair for him to ask me to? Does anyone have any opinions or advice?

[1_21Guns]

I can understand why he'd ask this of you, he doesn't want to see you hurt any more, but asking you to stop completely may have been a bit unfair, ask to compromise, promise to cut down, or promise to talk to him when you feel like hurting yourself?

[screamtobeheard]

That's what I suggested. I even said I'd give him my blades to hang onto. I just don't think he understands that it's not that easy to just completely stop.

[ovoxo23]

Last night, my boyfriend and I had a very long night. I got about 2.5 hours of sleep. We were both in really rough shape, but by the end of it, he'd promised that he'd never commit suicide. After that, he asked me to make the same promise, as well as one to never hurt myself again. I had no problem promising that I'd never attempt suicide again. I've realized that I could never hurt him like that, but I can't just promise that I'll never cut again. Or bite or scratch or burn or starve myself. I've been trying not to hurt myself much, and doing well, but I just don't think I can make a promise not to, and I don't think it's fair for him to ask me to? Does anyone have any opinions or advice?

Honestly, I doubt he meant to offend you or anything like that. I think he just really cares about you, and if he has done it, then he probably understands that it isn't very healthy and he cares about you enough that he wants the best for you.

[Pacaveli]

By reading you're writing it seems that you two have a serious relationship and love each other strongly. I can understand why he doesn't want you to do those bad things. If you truly love him and he truly loves you, if I were you I wouldn't self-harm at all or keep it down to the minimal.

[screamtobeheard]

Honestly, I doubt he meant to offend you or anything like that. I think he just really cares about you, and if he has done it, then he probably understands that it isn't very healthy and he cares about you enough that he wants the best for you.

He doesn't. He only means to help, but he hasn't done it, so he doesn't know how difficult it is to just stop.

By reading you're writing it seems that you two have a serious relationship and love each other strongly. I can understand why he doesn't want you to do those bad things. If you truly love him and he truly loves you, if I were you I wouldn't self-harm at all or keep it down to the minimal.

I love him more than anything and I've been trying to stop for him. It's just not always easy.

[ovoxo23]

He doesn't. He only means to help, but he hasn't done it, so he doesn't know how difficult it is to just stop.



I love him more than anything and I've been trying to stop for him. It's just not always easy.

I'm sure he knows rhat it's not easy. I think that he will love the fact that you are trying for him. You should tell him that it is very hard, but you need him now more than ever if he wants you to atop.

[1_21Guns]

That's what I suggested. I even said I'd give him my blades to hang onto. I just don't think he understands that it's not that easy to just completely stop.

Self harm is an odd addiction, for me I find it a little more complex than alcoholism etc, it's not something easily empathized with and that's why people can struggle to understand how difficult it really is to quit it, just try and explain you're trying, be positive with him, say you do want to beat it but sometimes you'll fall, and that's okay as long as you get back up again, unfortunately it's one of those things where unless you've been there, you just don't really get it :hug3:

[screamtobeheard]

Self harm is an odd addiction, for me I find it a little more complex than alcoholism etc, it's not something easily empathized with and that's why people can struggle to understand how difficult it really is to quit it, just try and explain you're trying, be positive with him, say you do want to beat it but sometimes you'll fall, and that's okay as long as you get back up again, unfortunately it's one of those things where unless you've been there, you just don't really get it :hug3:

Thank you.

[Imaustinigeuss]

I had to promise that too I hated it

[uglyinsideandout]

I never would or could make such a promise. It seems unfair to ask you to just stop.

[Dimas KM]

I won't promise that if i were u

NO OFFENSE:D

[screamtobeheard]

Yeah, it's a lot to ask. I told him that I can't make the promise that I never will again, but I'll be working hard to get to that point.

[These.scars.are.me.]

my mum made me promise to her. i broke the promise and kept the secret until it came out in a fight we had. mum went ballistic but i just think as she actually said. people who self harm and those who dont actually have very different mindsets and different views on the ways things work and should happen and obviously how to cope with these things