sometimes I feel like it's not right

[Luminous]

I grew up in an environment where everyone's hetero.. even though I live in MA the most pro-gay state in the usa. My mom always looved to talk about how I was going to grow up and marry a nice man and all that, I never even thought about it, though I guess I always knew on the inside that I would never have a prince charming, rather a princess charming :)
But still. Everyone assumes I'm straight. Almost everyone I know is straight. And I sometimes feel like.. I'm wrong. Out of the ordinary. I know I'm not, obviously. My parents are really supportive, at least my mom is, my dad never talks about it. I was wondering if anyone else ever gets that feeling?

[teen.jpg]

Yup. But for the most part I only talk to girls who are supportive so I make it through alright. Just find people you can relate/talk to and you'll be ok.

[uglyinsideandout]

How can how you feel be wrong? I think you should just be yourself and everything will be ok. :)

[ovoxo23]

I grew up in an environment where everyone's hetero.. even though I live in MA the most pro-gay state in the usa. My mom always looved to talk about how I was going to grow up and marry a nice man and all that, I never even thought about it, though I guess I always knew on the inside that I would never have a prince charming, rather a princess charming :)
But still. Everyone assumes I'm straight. Almost everyone I know is straight. And I sometimes feel like.. I'm wrong. Out of the ordinary. I know I'm not, obviously. My parents are really supportive, at least my mom is, my dad never talks about it. I was wondering if anyone else ever gets that feeling?

I could see why you would think that, but you're not wrong at all. I think that you would be wrong if you acted straight just to satisfy everybody. I think that it us very good that you embraced it and told your parents. That's very brave and I'm sure it was nerve wrecking. Honestly, I think you are a perfect role model.

[Victory]

You know, I felt the same way, ESPECIALLY when I was your age. I grew up in one of the most conservative states in the U.S. Even at a very young age I was thinking about girls, NOT boys. But because I lived in like a backwoods town with a bunch of rednecks (including my family), I grew up going to church listening to preachers yell about how homosexuality is a sin, and then when I went home with my family they would talk about how gross "queers" were and stuff... I felt like I was the only lesbian in Louisiana, or even the whole southern United States, lol. I always thought that if I died, I'd go to Hell because I was an abomination according to the church. I didn't want to wake up in the morning, and when I got home from school all I wanted to do was go to bed because I was so depressed.

BUT, a few months before my 14th birthday party I found a girl that proved all of that wrong. For the next couple of years we taught each other that we weren't freaks, we weren't going to Hell, and there was no reason to feel so different and alone. Of course, people discover themselves a lot in their teens to early/mid twenties, and we sort of grew apart unfortunately... But still, we loved each other very much in that short time.

Even though I've been with a few other people since then, and I'm single now, I never went back to that self loathing, lonely mentality from before I met her. She was like the catalyst that led me to self discovery and embracing who I am. Maybe you need a catalyst! It probably doesn't even have to be a person. It can be anything. Maybe it's happening right now. Maybe it'll take some years to figure it out like I did, but it's all worth it. These days I look back and laugh at how melodramatic I used to be about being a lesbian. You'll probably do the same one day ;) Let me know if I can help in anyway!

[Lovelife090994]

You know, I felt the same way, ESPECIALLY when I was your age. I grew up in one of the most conservative states in the U.S. Even at a very young age I was thinking about girls, NOT boys. But because I lived in like a backwoods town with a bunch of rednecks (including my family), I grew up going to church listening to preachers yell about how homosexuality is a sin, and then when I went home with my family they would talk about how gross "queers" were and stuff... I felt like I was the only lesbian in Louisiana, or even the whole southern United States, lol. I always thought that if I died, I'd go to Hell because I was an abomination according to the church. I didn't want to wake up in the morning, and when I got home from school all I wanted to do was go to bed because I was so depressed.

BUT, a few months before my 14th birthday party I found a girl that proved all of that wrong. For the next couple of years we taught each other that we weren't freaks, we weren't going to Hell, and there was no reason to feel so different and alone. Of course, people discover themselves a lot in their teens to early/mid twenties, and we sort of grew apart unfortunately... But still, we loved each other very much in that short time.

Even though I've been with a few other people since then, and I'm single now, I never went back to that self loathing, lonely mentality from before I met her. She was like the catalyst that led me to self discovery and embracing who I am. Maybe you need a catalyst! It probably doesn't even have to be a person. It can be anything. Maybe it's happening right now. Maybe it'll take some years to figure it out like I did, but it's all worth it. These days I look back and laugh at how melodramatic I used to be about being a lesbian. You'll probably do the same one day ;) Let me know if I can help in anyway!

I wish I was as brave as you with support if any.

To the OP, this girl has some good advice, I hope she helps.

My advice? Be you, because no one else can be.

[Extreme586]

Ya I get that feeling all the time. Since I'm a guy I always feel left out of male bonding friends have that I know I will never get to experience. And it's not like I can get any sort of friendship bonding experience from girls either because nobody knows I'm gay. I just feel so out of place and wish somebody cared enough to ask why I'm so weird, strange, anti-social, etc. It's kind of hard to be normal when you can't be yourself and such a huge part of your life is hidden from everyone.

[Harrybaby4]

I'm straight but really sympathise with people struggling to come out in modern society. I think the world would e better if when people were born no sexuality was assigned to them at all, and when they were ready they could announce what they are. So straight, gay and bi people all at some point had to tell everyone which they are, therefore making it more equal and less pressure for people who are gay ect.

[Luminous]

Some of you don't seem to understand, let me clarify this. I UNDERSTAND IT ISN'T WRONG. I do know that. I never said it was. I said sometimes I *feel* like it's wrong because I'm different.
Thank you for all your stories. This is really inspiring to me.

[Magnus Bane]

i sometimes get this feeling.I feel different cause i don't know anyone else is gay. so i would say it is kinda normal to feel this way. especially if you were bought up in a hetero enviroment so yes i know how you feel

[uglyinsideandout]

I don't think it's unreasonable that I'm confused but people sometimes make me feel... not pressured exactly, but they make assumptions that I'll get over all this and meet a nice boy, etc. I'm sure you're familiar with that one-sided conversation. And I feel like there must be something wrong with me for not knowing what I want. Even talking to younger people here and stuff that are like I've known I was ...fill in the blank.. since I was a kid. I never felt like the wind was blowing in any particular direction and it makes me feel like there must be something wrong with me for not knowing.

[Luminous]

I don't think there's anything wrong with you for not knowing. Maybe you don't have to be any particular label anyways, you're just you.

[trimm_tom]

you cant let others determine how u feel about yourself.
it took me a long time to understand that my self worth is determined by me not others