spoiling your children?

[britishboy]

is it right to give your child everything, I think it's fine if you have money and those who don't like it are probably jealous that they dont have money

[Professional Russian]

is it right to give your child everything, I think it's fine if you have money and those who don't like it are probably jealous that they dont have money

Its not OK because then they become dependent on you and theyll always rely on their parents for stuff.

[Obsidian]

If I had a ton of money I would buy nice things for my kids, but I'd also teach them the importance of working for what you want. I wouldn't want them to feel like everything would be handed to them in life. When they were teenagers I'd make them get jobs and pay for a lot of their own things. I think when you spoil your kids too much you make them too dependent on you and they should know how to earn things for themselves too.

[Trace]

Its not OK because then they become dependent on you and theyll always rely on their parents for stuff.

Unless of course you

teach them the importance of working for what you want

Which is the thing to do.

[PinkFloyd]

If you make your kid happy by not spending a shit load on them, then it's totally fine.
However, once you get him or her everything they want like a Bentley and a huge apartment for when they move out, that is just not preparing them for real life in the slightest.

I'm pretty sure that my parents can afford to buy me a brand new nice Lexus. I really don't want them to because it would be giving me the sense that I can have anything I want in my life if I just ask for it. Plus, that money could be going to a much greater cause than a 16 year old American kid (ME).

One of the most important things a kid needs to know is that they need to work for what they want. They can't just say to their dad: "Daddy! My Porsche just hit 10,000 miles! I need a new one!" Obviously, I'm exaggerating, but you get what I mean.

[Sir Suomi]

I'd make sure my child had the appropriate "Need" items, such as clothing. But as for their "Want" items, I'd make sure they'd own it. Once they became old enough, they would get their own jobs, save half of their earnings, and then I'd allow them to spend the rest as they deem fit. That is, however, if they are involved with school activities, and have at bare minimum a B average in school. I'd prepare them for the real world, where you have to earn what you want.

[Harry Smith]

is it right to give your child everything, I think it's fine if you have money and those who don't like it are probably jealous that they dont have money

Your making a very big assumpition there

Not everyone who opposes spoiling children is jealous that they don't have money, many families around the world manage perfectly fine without massive wads of cash.

I absolutely hate it when you see 12 year old's with credit cards who act like they own the earth, I'm fine with children spending their own money they receive at Christmas along with their parents buying them items that they need as long as treats.

I think you really just need to limit it, I mean look at sweet 16- that shows just how bad teenagers can be.

-JvtlB_NzI8

[Human]

Spoiling is never good, it's okay to give them lots of treats if they're good but spoiling makes them expect something for nothing

[britishboy]

but isn't arrogance a problem with the parenting?

[TheDeepestDepths]

but isn't arrogance a problem with the parenting?

What point are you trying to make here? It sounds like you're contradicting the point you made in your original post. Arrogance can be a problem with the parenting, especially when it stems from parents giving their children everything they ask for. Spoiling your children leads to arrogance a long with a host of other problems.

[britishboy]

What point are you trying to make here? It sounds like you're contradicting the point you made in your original post. Arrogance can be a problem with the parenting, especially when it stems from parents giving their children everything they ask for. Spoiling your children leads to arrogance a long with a host of other problems.

and children who have everything are automatically bitches, that sounds like jealousy

[Obsidian]

and children who have everything are automatically bitches, that sounds like jealousy

Nobody said they were bitches... I think it would be nice to have more money to buy things, but I'm not jealous of kids whose parents hand everything to them, because I'm glad that I know how to work for what I want and be independent without having to rely on my parents to give me money for the rest of my life. It might seem like getting everything you want without having to work for any of it is a gift, but it actually will screw your kids up because they won't know what it's like to have to work for anything. That's something you have to know in order to ever become independent and make it in the world.

[TheDeepestDepths]

and children who have everything are automatically bitches, that sounds like jealousy

Oh grow the fuck up.

I was replying to your post which made no sense in context of the debate and what you said earlier. I was merely pointing out how often the source of arrogance comes from being given everything you ask for and then looking down on those less fortunate than you. Sound familiar?

Lastly, jealousy? Are you trying to imply that I'm jealous of people with wealth? You wouldn't know the first thing about me, let alone my wealth status.

[britishboy]

Nobody said they were bitches... I think it would be nice to have more money to buy things, but I'm not jealous of kids whose parents hand everything to them, because I'm glad that I know how to work for what I want and be independent without having to rely on my parents to give me money for the rest of my life. It might seem like getting everything you want without having to work for any of it is a gift, but it actually will screw your kids up because they won't know what it's like to have to work for anything. That's something you have to know in order to ever become independent and make it in the world.
im not saying your jealous but a good few on here clearly are, I think as long as they see the poor people, are well educated and passion to work, they will have a great wealthy life, supported by themselves

[tovaris]

give your kids everething nana.. No
give them what they requier not everething they might inpulsivly desire

[Obsidian]

im not saying your jealous but a good few on here clearly are, I think as long as they see the poor people, are well educated and passion to work, they will have a great wealthy life, supported by themselves

They won't develop a passion for working or a good work ethic if they're never required to work for things. Like I said before, I think it's okay if you spoil your kids a little bit. But when they get to a certain age you should require them to get a job and learn what it's like to have to buy their own things. Otherwise they're going to move out one day and be totally overwhelmed because they've never worked for a single thing in their lives, and now they suddenly have to. And even if they do want to get a job or have a passion for working, they won't have any experience doing so and it will be very hard for them to excel at any job they might get. If you want decent things and a good amount of money in life you have to know how to work for it, and if your parents just hand you whatever you want you're not really learning how to do that.

[britishboy]

They won't develop a passion for working or a good work ethic if they're never required to work for things. Like I said before, I think it's okay if you spoil your kids a little bit. But when they get to a certain age you should require them to get a job and learn what it's like to have to buy their own things. Otherwise they're going to move out one day and be totally overwhelmed because they've never worked for a single thing in their lives, and now they suddenly have to. And even if they do want to get a job or have a passion for working, they won't have any experience doing so and it will be very hard for them to excel at any job they might get. If you want decent things and a good amount of money in life you have to know how to work for it, and if your parents just hand you whatever you want you're not really learning how to do that.

I think if you do it right it will work however as you said, if you just let them sit on their ass they won't learn the skills

obviously if your rich enough to really spoil them you will have some business of some kind, the kids should work in that and get rewarded with the stuff

I think there is many people on here who obviously struggle for money and hate the rich simply for being successful which is stupid, but I agree with what your saying, they must work

[Harry Smith]

im not saying your jealous but a good few on here clearly are, I think as long as they see the poor people, are well educated and passion to work, they will have a great wealthy life, supported by themselves

Yeah I'm jealous of your wealth mate, I have no idea how my mud shack is still standing up.

Wealth doesn't equal Great one bit, poor people aren't some sort of Zoo attraction. The whole point is that these people will never support them-self, they will just keep living off their parents until they die

[1_21Guns]

To be honest I got pretty spoilt as a young child, I had a gaming computer, xbox, ps2, I had two rooms for a long time, all sorts really and it certainly hasn't made me bitter or anything, I believe it's not so much about whether or not you spoil your children, it's making sure you teach them the value of money and that money doesn't fall out of the sky

[tovaris]

I think if you do it right it will work however as you said, if you just let them sit on their ass they won't learn the skills

obviously if your rich enough to really spoil them you will have some business of some kind, the kids should work in that and get rewarded with the stuff

I think there is many people on here who obviously struggle for money and hate the rich simply for being successful which is stupid, but I agree with what your saying, they must work

Thwo of ypur basic preconseptions are incorect,
Poor people dont hate the rich for being rich (while the rich blame the poor for being poor)
If you give everething a child wants withovt any filter or setting any price for their wants, that child will alvais expect things to fall from the sky.

[Obsidian]

I think if you do it right it will work however as you said, if you just let them sit on their ass they won't learn the skills

obviously if your rich enough to really spoil them you will have some business of some kind, the kids should work in that and get rewarded with the stuff

I think there is many people on here who obviously struggle for money and hate the rich simply for being successful which is stupid, but I agree with what your saying, they must work

I can see your point. I don't believe that just because you're rich you won't know how to work for things, because most of the people who are rich had to work for their money and I'm sure they would want to teach their kids how to do so as well. As long as they know how to work and they don't expect things to come to them super easily, I'm sure they'll be able to get by.

Yeah I'm jealous of your wealth mate, I have no idea how my mud shack is still standing up.

Wealth doesn't equal Great one bit, poor people aren't some sort of Zoo attraction. The whole point is that these people will never support them-self, they will just keep living off their parents until they die

This isn't true for all rich people. I can see where both of you guys are coming from. If your parents are rich and they give you everything without teaching you how to work for things on your own, then you'll be lazy and unable support yourself for the rest of your life. But you can be rich and still know how to work for things, it just depends on how your parents raise you.

[Trace]

Is there a reason you frequent ROTW?

and children who have everything are automatically bitches

Because no one ever said that. And it seems you put words in peoples' mouths on every thread you make, or at least something of the sort.

[Synyster Shadows]

I wouldn't spoil my kids. I'd make 'em work for what they want. I'd make sure they deserve it. But if they show me they deserve it, that they're responsible, and don't just behave well for rewards, I'll get whatever they want, assuming it's affordable. Oh, and they'll have to pay for some portion of it, maybe 25%. Like others have said, I'd make them get jobs, appropriate ones that won't overwork them too much or underwork them. It's mostly from how I've been raised. I consider myself lucky to have what I do - $1,800 digital piano, not even a real grand; violin that cost 2 years' rental fees to eventually own, though I don't know how much it actually cost; and my guitar. Oh, and the guitar is my dad's old classical guitar. Thankfully, it still plays fine. I don't usually ask for much for my birthday or Christmas - half because I don't need much, half because I don't want much. It's weird because my mom looks at my list, which usually has like 2 items, and says I need to think of more stuff. It's like "What do you want me to ask for???" Though I will ask for a new guitar in the near future...
But yeah, as you can see, I'm not spoiled in the slightest and I wouldn't spoil my kids either.

[TheDeepestDepths]

I can see your point. I don't believe that just because you're rich you won't know how to work for things, because most of the people who are rich had to work for their money and I'm sure they would want to teach their kids how to do so as well. As long as they know how to work and they don't expect things to come to them super easily, I'm sure they'll be able to get by.

This isn't true for all rich people. I can see where both of you guys are coming from. If your parents are rich and they give you everything without teaching you how to work for things on your own, then you'll be lazy and unable support yourself for the rest of your life. But you can be rich and still know how to work for things, it just depends on how your parents raise you.

I think the problem here is that britishboy equates being spoiled and being rich as the same thing when they're not. You can be rich but not spoiled but only if your parents don't give you anything you ask for.

[thatcountrykid]

is it right to give your child everything, I think it's fine if you have money and those who don't like it are probably jealous that they dont have money

Some parents want to provide all they can but cant because money wasnt handed to them like some of the people who give their kids EVERYTHING!

[Sir Suomi]

I think if you do it right it will work however as you said, if you just let them sit on their ass they won't learn the skills

obviously if your rich enough to really spoil them you will have some business of some kind, the kids should work in that and get rewarded with the stuff

I think there is many people on here who obviously struggle for money and hate the rich simply for being successful which is stupid, but I agree with what your saying, they must work

Oh don't you even fucking go there. My family has worked their asses off their whole lives, and we're still middle class. All my life, I've had to work, somehow or another, to get things I wanted in life. I think it's just plain fucking wrong to see a 14 year old get a brand new 30,000 car, and start bragging about it, while I'm working my ass off almost every day to afford a shitty 1,000 dollar car, which I'm going to pay for, by myself, along with the gas and insurance. Rich kids don't even care about their shit. "Oh, I wrecked my car? Well, I'll just have daddy buy me another one". I'm not jealous. I'm sickened. So don't you even fucking dare insult me, or think you are above me, just because you were born in a rich family, and never had to fucking worry about money. So if you wanna continue that opinion, you can go shove your thumb up your ass.

[Moondust]

It is only natural to want what's best for them, to make sure they have food, comfort and all that jazz, but sometimes there must be a line. Heck, there are tons of things I've wanted, but didn't get when I was younger, and it helped me to weigh my options smartly.
Sure, we all want to treat kids nicely, and that is a good thing, but making everything easy for them is unhealthy. In order to learn and grow in their own self confidence, there has to be challenges. Nothing too hard, of course, but they need to find out for themselves how much they are capable of, or else they'll always rely on others, and when nobody is there to help, ya know. So, making sure they have what they need is good, once in a while giving them nice things as a treat is also good, but if you don't let them grow in a way that will allow them to be responsible when they're older for themselves, bad things will happen.

[thatcountrykid]

I think if you do it right it will work however as you said, if you just let them sit on their ass they won't learn the skills

obviously if your rich enough to really spoil them you will have some business of some kind, the kids should work in that and get rewarded with the stuff

I think there is many people on here who obviously struggle for money and hate the rich simply for being successful which is stupid, but I agree with what your saying, they must work

My dad works 52 hour weeks as a patrol seargeant at the sheriffs office. Who is working off duty rihht now so we can have fun and eat out sometimes. My mom feels bad to even buy some clothes for work. I feel bad to go on trip to kc even though we only need to pay for food and a 100$ plane tickett. This isnt jelousy. Its pride!

[Tree96]

It depends on how you raise and discipline. A person with everything can be nicer and better than someone that has nothing and vice-versa.

[Walter Powers]

is it right to give your child everything, I think it's fine if you have money and those who don't like it are probably jealous that they dont have money

NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!

Giving your kids everything is training them to rely on other people and be dependant. It also doesn't teach them things like saving money and personal responsibility. They won't be able to support themselves, and might end up living off of welfare and government programs. Not a good thing.

However, if the child realizes the value of what they recieve, and works hard in school, it's okay to reward them if you have the means to do so. I'm sure you work hard, so in your case it's okay to spend money on you as long as you appreciate it and realize how lucky you are. Remember, we don't choose our parents.

[britishboy]

NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!

Giving your kids everything is training them to rely on other people and be dependant. It also doesn't teach them things like saving money and personal responsibility. They won't be able to support themselves, and might end up living off of welfare and government programs. Not a good thing.

However, if the child realizes the value of what they recieve, and works hard in school, it's okay to reward them if you have the means to do so. I'm sure you work hard, so in your case it's okay to spend money on you as long as you appreciate it and realize how lucky you are. Remember, we don't choose our parents.
no we dont choose our parents but I doubt you will not give your kids something to make them normal.
It depends on how you raise and discipline. A person with everything can be nicer and better than someone that has nothing and vice-versa.
EXACTLY!
My dad works 52 hour weeks as a patrol seargeant at the sheriffs office. Who is working off duty rihht now so we can have fun and eat out sometimes. My mom feels bad to even buy some clothes for work. I feel bad to go on trip to kc even though we only need to pay for food and a 100$ plane tickett. This isnt jelousy. Its pride!
I don't see your point? I never said (and dont think anyone eles said) that that was jealousy?
Oh don't you even fucking go there. My family has worked their asses off their whole lives, and we're still middle class. All my life, I've had to work, somehow or another, to get things I wanted in life. I think it's just plain fucking wrong to see a 14 year old get a brand new 30,000 car, and start bragging about it, while I'm working my ass off almost every day to afford a shitty 1,000 dollar car, which I'm going to pay for, by myself, along with the gas and insurance. Rich kids don't even care about their shit. "Oh, I wrecked my car? Well, I'll just have daddy buy me another one". I'm not jealous. I'm sickened. So don't you even fucking dare insult me, or think you are above me, just because you were born in a rich family, and never had to fucking worry about money. So if you wanna continue that opinion, you can go shove your thumb up your ass.
well that is the class system

[Harry Smith]

no we dont choose our parents but I doubt you will not give your kids something to make them normal.

EXACTLY!

I don't see your point? I never said (and dont think anyone eles said) that that was jealousy?

well that is the class system

those who don't like it are probably jealous that they dont have money

many people on here who obviously struggle for money and hate the rich

The idea that 'poorer' people are jealous of 'you' has been the main point of your argument.

The Class system in both Britain and America is not to do with money, it's to do with influence and respect.

There's a difference between spoiling your kids and providing for them, that's what Walter was trying to say

[Party256]

Children should learn about economic freedom, you work hard you get this.

[cant_stop18]

I think it's fine, as long as they can afford it and are happy then who am I to judge

[Professional Russian]

Unless of course you

That made no sense to me. Explain a bit?

[teen.jpg]

I don't see the point of this thread. It's just going to turn into mindless bickering.

[Trace]

That made no sense to me. Explain a bit?

There was a second quote below that, that I was using to speak for me. It said, "teach them the importance of working for what you want." That's what supported my fragment :P.

[Walter Powers]

no we dont choose our parents but I doubt you will not give your kids something to make them normal.

EXACTLY!

I don't see your point? I never said (and dont think anyone eles said) that that was jealousy?

well that is the class system

"Make them normal"? What?

Rich isn't normal. If which was normal, you wouldn't be considered rich.

And I hate how we are dividing people into classes like this. An I the only person on here who understands the concept of class mobility?

[HahaWaitWhat]

those who don't like it are probably jealous that they dont have money

I highly doubt it is for that reason.

[randomnessqueen]

you can give your children gifts without spoiling them
but spoiling is never ok, its harmful

[LouBerry]

I'm spoiled rotten. But my grandparents/ dad did it the right way. I grew up knowing that it's okay to want things, as long as those wants don't conflict with needs, and that getting things isn't bad, but that being bratty or demanding is.

[Sugaree]

I won't be giving my child everything, no. But I certainly will spoil them in short bursts. It's my child, if they want something and have proven to me that they've earned it, I'll get it for them on that condition. But if they want something, most of the time they'll have to work for it themselves.

Spoiling a child is just a parental thing. Most parents want the best for their children and will occasionally spoil them. I know my grandparents used to do it to me all the time, but I understood why they were spoiling me with gifts. They did it because they loved me. But I always understood that I had to work to get something I wanted and I had commitments to meet beforehand if I wanted it. It's not that hard to instill this into a child, it's actually rather easy. As long as the child understands that the spoiling is being done out of pure love and understands that not everyone is going to give you free shit throughout your life, it's fine.