My Life is a Mystery

[Sudds3]

I don't tell people about my personal life. I have before and they care and try and help and it sucks because they always find ways to make it worse. I am going through rough times and i just need to figure it out on my own. Frankly, my life is a mystery to me. I figure new things out about myself daily.

My grandpa died about a month ago and none of my friends know, and i intend on keeping it that way. I am going to his memorial service in september (didn't have a funeral because people are flying up from all over the world so we cremated him and decided on a memorial service) and i have to fly to DC for it. I am thinking about just not telling anyone and saying that i was sick or something.

I lie a lot to keep people out and it works a good amount of the time. Is it bad that i separate myself from everyone so much?

[uglyinsideandout]

Does it feel bad? It just is what it is.

[1_21Guns]

It's probably not the best thing in the world to do because in my case it caused a mass build up of emotion that eventually I couldn't deal with, but if this is your way of coping then it's better than no way of coping

[Sudds3]

I think it's my best way to cope with everything because the one time that i told a few friends and asked for help, went to my school's psychiatrist and admitted everything to a certain few it was the worst thing ever. So i think keeping everything to myself just helps me act like i have a normal life so i trick myself into thinking everything is ok. And i think thats why i hate nighttime so much, because i always stall and put off going to sleep because those minutes before i fall asleep everything surges in and i feel everything and realize how messed up i am.

[plebble]

It's not bad, well, you should tell people why you're upset about things like family/friend deaths, but only to people you know well and completely trust. It's ok to keep a secret if you know you're strong enough and you can overcome it.

[Versae]

Well, you should tell someone you trust. it's hard when one day, you'll get tired from it and just bursts. Take it slowly and you'll be okay.