Yugen
July 26th, 2013, 05:54 PM
Okay, so for a few months now my eating has been kind of messed up. My thoughts have been even more messed up though. Going by the references in a book my school counselor had given me, this is what's going on:
I feel pressured to be thin, that I'm not attractive if I'm not thin, I feel guilty about eating, I'm never satisfied with how I look, I constantly think about my weight and what I eat, I prefer eating alone, I count the calories in everything, I feel like I'm out of control when I eat, I feel like I'd be happier if I were thinner, I constantly compare myself and my body to others, I keep my concerns about food a secret, and very often I do lie about what I eat.
However, I don't "diet" excessively, I'm not completely preoccupied with food, I don't abuse any laxatives or diet pills or anything, I don't try to throw up what I ate, and my family isn't at all concerned about how I eat. Just my psychologist and my family doctor, and all the staff at my school.
I guess what I'm trying to ask here, is do you guys think I could have an eating disorder? The questionnaire suggests I have a score of 13/18 which is a definite eating disorder, but I'm unsure. I do eat sometimes. For instance, I just had a small milkshake a while ago. But most of the time I barely eat, and if I do eat, it's something mega healthy. I try to limit my calories to under 800 a day, preferably under 600, which I know is unhealthy. I've lost weight as well. I used to be average, but my bmi is now in the fourth percentile for my age and height. I fit into kids clothes. It just still doesn't feel low enough for me... I don't think I'm anorexic. I eat. I just make sure I only do when people are around to make myself look okay. What do you guys think? I know there are disorders that aren't anorexic or bulimic, maybe I fit into one of those? Or maybe I'm just obsessing over something dumb.
I feel pressured to be thin, that I'm not attractive if I'm not thin, I feel guilty about eating, I'm never satisfied with how I look, I constantly think about my weight and what I eat, I prefer eating alone, I count the calories in everything, I feel like I'm out of control when I eat, I feel like I'd be happier if I were thinner, I constantly compare myself and my body to others, I keep my concerns about food a secret, and very often I do lie about what I eat.
However, I don't "diet" excessively, I'm not completely preoccupied with food, I don't abuse any laxatives or diet pills or anything, I don't try to throw up what I ate, and my family isn't at all concerned about how I eat. Just my psychologist and my family doctor, and all the staff at my school.
I guess what I'm trying to ask here, is do you guys think I could have an eating disorder? The questionnaire suggests I have a score of 13/18 which is a definite eating disorder, but I'm unsure. I do eat sometimes. For instance, I just had a small milkshake a while ago. But most of the time I barely eat, and if I do eat, it's something mega healthy. I try to limit my calories to under 800 a day, preferably under 600, which I know is unhealthy. I've lost weight as well. I used to be average, but my bmi is now in the fourth percentile for my age and height. I fit into kids clothes. It just still doesn't feel low enough for me... I don't think I'm anorexic. I eat. I just make sure I only do when people are around to make myself look okay. What do you guys think? I know there are disorders that aren't anorexic or bulimic, maybe I fit into one of those? Or maybe I'm just obsessing over something dumb.