CosmicNoodle
July 26th, 2013, 10:54 AM
I know i am posting a lot of rant/questions but i have just found this sight and have a lot to get of my chest and want to get it over with quickly
Between when i was in year 4 and year 10 i was bullied mercilessly by a group of about 10 or so people, you know the ones who will obviously will just live on the dole there hole life.
For 6 years i was In a constant state of fear from the moment i woke up to the moment i fell asleep because i knew i would have to go back to the school, back to them, back to being afraid.
The repercussions of this still linger to this day (i have left school and am in college), when people near me lift there hand to itch there hear or move to suddenly toward me quickly i flinch and sometimes take far to may steps back for it to look casual and people notice i have a problem with it, i also end up feeling like i am 10 agane with the bullys.
I know this is very dark and should not be shared but over the years i have come to the conclusion that if they where on fire there is a good chance i would not spit on them to put them out.
This is not a joke, when most young teenagers where talking with friends about video games and girls i would sit on my own thinking everyone hated me and thinking of all the ways they should die in...ye i was a fairly messed up child with some damn evil demons most if which died when i did finally get some friends (don't worry i am a fairly balanced person now considering the torture i went through). But i did learn one thing from those 6 dark years, THINGS DO GET BETTER!. I am living proof of this as i now have a happy life and am contemplating asking the girl of my dreams out on a date :)
What i am wondering is do any of you know how i felt back then, did any of you repeat my childhood or still have or even ever had the sort of demons that i had?
Between when i was in year 4 and year 10 i was bullied mercilessly by a group of about 10 or so people, you know the ones who will obviously will just live on the dole there hole life.
For 6 years i was In a constant state of fear from the moment i woke up to the moment i fell asleep because i knew i would have to go back to the school, back to them, back to being afraid.
The repercussions of this still linger to this day (i have left school and am in college), when people near me lift there hand to itch there hear or move to suddenly toward me quickly i flinch and sometimes take far to may steps back for it to look casual and people notice i have a problem with it, i also end up feeling like i am 10 agane with the bullys.
I know this is very dark and should not be shared but over the years i have come to the conclusion that if they where on fire there is a good chance i would not spit on them to put them out.
This is not a joke, when most young teenagers where talking with friends about video games and girls i would sit on my own thinking everyone hated me and thinking of all the ways they should die in...ye i was a fairly messed up child with some damn evil demons most if which died when i did finally get some friends (don't worry i am a fairly balanced person now considering the torture i went through). But i did learn one thing from those 6 dark years, THINGS DO GET BETTER!. I am living proof of this as i now have a happy life and am contemplating asking the girl of my dreams out on a date :)
What i am wondering is do any of you know how i felt back then, did any of you repeat my childhood or still have or even ever had the sort of demons that i had?