I miss you so so much

[CosmicNoodle]

At 2:02 PM on Wednesday 26th June my Granddad died.He had a stroke caused by a buble of air in his blood that got in when a routine procedure went belly up. After this He slowly started to recover but i could not bare to see him like he was, when i went to visit him he was not my granddad, he was a shell of the man who took me to the park, who loved me, who would do any thing to make me happy even at the expense of looking foolish in public (EG once walked to the shop with my with a tuper ware bowl on his head just to make me laugh)
But he slowly got better, day buy day but took a sudden and very upsetting turn for the worst and died at the aforementioned time and date.
Two months later the autopsy came back telling us he had taken the turn for the worse due to a E-coli infection caused by the hospital itself.

After this happened i cant think of him without having to leave the room because i just start to cry uncontrollably and can barely stop myself, i don't want to tell my family but don't know why i feel like i cant also i cant go into the local hospital anymore because i know it was them who took him away from us (Not there fault i know because mistakes will be made...but still) and i just feel angry beyond control and have to leave ASAP.
Do any of you suffer from this problem of having to avoid thinking of something because you get like this, or is it just me not grieving properly and keeping it all in?

[britishboy]

At 2:02 PM on Wednesday 26th June my Granddad died.He had a stroke caused by a buble of air in his blood that got in when a routine procedure went belly up. After this He slowly started to recover but i could not bare to see him like he was, when i went to visit him he was not my granddad, he was a shell of the man who took me to the park, who loved me, who would do any thing to make me happy even at the expense of looking foolish in public (EG once walked to the shop with my with a tuper ware bowl on his head just to make me laugh)
But he slowly got better, day buy day but took a sudden and very upsetting turn for the worst and died at the aforementioned time and date.
Two months later the autopsy came back telling us he had taken the turn for the worse due to a E-coli infection caused by the hospital itself.

After this happened i cant think of him without having to leave the room because i just start to cry uncontrollably and can barely stop myself, i don't want to tell my family but don't know why i feel like i cant also i cant go into the local hospital anymore because i know it was them who took him away from us (Not there fault i know because mistakes will be made...but still) and i just feel angry beyond control and have to leave ASAP.
Do any of you suffer from this problem of having to avoid thinking of something because you get like this, or is it just me not grieving properly and keeping it all in?


firstly you are grieving propaply as you can never grieve wrong!:)

I know exactly what your going through! and to be honest you will feel like shit for ages, I lost my nan to cancer, she found out too late and as you can guess... she died.

I avoided thinking about it but actually never could stop thinking about it, it taken about 3 months before I started to get used to it, a year for me to think and reflect on it but I still miss her now.

if you feel angry, use a punch bag, beat the crap out of it, this is something im sure will help but most important remember that everything your doing is natural and healthy:)

[CosmicNoodle]

No buddy, i don't mean this year, this was last year and i still get worked up about it, even when i wrote that post i was practically running a river on my keyboarded...is it still normal after a year?
And i think i did grieve wrong because i just bottled it up back then and refused to talk about it and think about it, i basicaly shut myself down for 3 months and did not talk to friends or family about it at all and it is starting to destroy that bottle i put it in from the inside out :(

[britishboy]

No buddy, i don't mean this year, this was last year and i still get worked up about it, even when i wrote that post i was practically running a river on my keyboarded...is it still normal after a year?
And i think i did grieve wrong because i just bottled it up back then and refused to talk about it and think about it, i basicaly shut myself down for 3 months and did not talk to friends or family about it at all and it is starting to destroy that bottle i put it in from the inside out :(

it's been 2-3 year's and this brings back painful memories for me!:)

and this all shows how much you loved him which is good!

everyone grieves differently, some shrug it off and donr care, others are screaming in agony for years clutching on to pictures, there is no right or wrong way:)

[CosmicNoodle]

Thanks for that, i feel much better after final telling someone about it, even if you are a stranger on the internet i will never know
Thank you so much!

[britishboy]

Thanks for that, i feel much better after final telling someone about it, even if you are a stranger on the internet i will never know
Thank you so much!

not a problem:)