gah...freaking out. a lot.

[ezekialar]

i think this is the 3rd bulletin ive posted on here. im pretty much in the same place i was last time i posted a bulletin. in my last thread i asked if i might be bi polar...i havnt gone back to the counselor since then but from most of the feedback ive gotten and way i feel ive noticed that it is a very strong possibility. i have no idea what is going on with me and its hard for me to talk to my family about it but i need to...but every time i talk about it its like i shoot myself in the foot because i think about it too much. and going up and down like tis doesnt help the situation. one minute ill be fine then the next im scared and depressed. i feel as if im a threat to myself and how do you stop yourself from being scared of your own being and mind. im goin to the counselor and my doctor to get meds and get tested for bi polar. i just want to be back where i was and be "normal" and happy again. the thing about me is that i'll push through any problem that comes my way without really dealing with it until i have to. i did it when my brother was in the hospital after his car accident, when people make fun of me at all or bother me, or when my mom and step dad were having a shitty marriage. i guess i just keep my feelings in until i explode or cant handle it. everyone needs to vent...which is why i was so happy when i found this site...and why it helps to write all this down like this.


-feedback, tips, and self therapy ideas would be appreciated. ASAP ha.

(p.s.-i was in a horrible mood when i started this, then ok mood, now not great mood. yeah...i must be bi polar)

[thesphinx]

Well since we are not doctors we cannot say if you are bipolar or not but it sounds likely.
anyway you NEED to find a way to get your problems out before they come to the point of explosion, you will never be able to deal with anything if you can't get your feelings out.

And I completely know what you feel like when you say you want to be "normal" again I always wondered where my "old" self went when I went through depression,
but guess what I got through it and I am normal again I have my old self again with the exception that I am wiser and stronger.
Its sounds weird but I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't have gone through a 1 1/2 of Major depression.
Talk to a counselor about that it can really help.

but other than that just hang in there man until you get through this, we're here for you :)

[dodgeman09]

welcome to the site! theres many people that will talk to ya. i am bi-polar to so i feel ya T

[ezekialar]

thanks guys. i'll keep checkin in on this post quite a bit so keep the feedback coming. lol