Horrible "Friend"

[KarkatLuv]

There is this girl at my school and we have been friends for about a year. In that time she has become increasingly attached to me. She trusts me completely and always comes to me about her problems, eg. The fact that she cuts, hates herself, thinks about suicide. I've done everything I can to help her however I don't want to anymore, and I just cant handle her being so creepily attached. Weather she says it or not it is obvious that she likes me more that a friend, she is constantly touching my face and playing with my ear lobe, and she dosen't listen when I say stop. I have come to dispise her an nearly completely hate her. To make herself feel better she talks crap about people around her, and recently she had a fight with another friend in our trio and she wasn't saying that I was taking the other friends side, but instead that she was stealing me away from her like i'm some sort of object. She had made me make a pact with her previously saying that IF she makes it to her 18th birthday we would get tattoos together. After this fight she screamed at me and my other friend outside a classroom at school, and then txt me saying "F*** you and I'm breaking the pact" I text her back telling her that I didn't want to take sides but the other friend was my friend also and all I said was I wasn't going to let you attack her, so I don't care if she was going to break the pact. I didn't realise at the time but I basicly told her that I didn't care if she killed herself. She didn't end up doing it but I'm fairly sure she hasn't forgivin the other friend but she forgave me in 2 days even though I told her I didn't care if she commited suicide. Having her as a friend is a chore, and I can't handle it anymore. I have so much mental strain after every day I see her because of the way she acts like her problems are the only ones that matter and if I told her I was having a bad day her response would probably be that "you're life is perfect" and "Well at least you don't get ridiculed by family and even people you don't know." I know she as much as she likes me in both a friend and romantic way she dosen't care about me as a person, and uses me like an object to get rid of her hate. My question is how do I get her out of my life? As much as I hate her I will still feel guilty if I tell her how I truley feel because if I get rid of her, almost every one else will too because right now I am the only connection between them. Lately I have been feeling really depressed because of all the stress this causes to the point of walking away from everyone to be alone, so I know this is bad and I need to get away from her. The way she act is like cancer, it poisions you and makes you feel depressed. I'm so sorry this is so long I needed to get it out. Thanks to everyone that tries to help :(

[britishboy]

ok, this is complicated, and I see how fast she will get annoying and understand how you dont wanna bluntly say piss off.

so here's what I suggest really annoy her until she decides to no longer be friends with you. be best friends with the girl she hates and slowly do less things with her, tell her your busy doing things with your new bff (the girl she hates) and soon enough she'll decide she no longer likes you and move on:) feel free to PM me whenever

[KarkatLuv]

Thanks, that is basically what I have been doing, keeping contact to a minimum. Lets hope it works :)

[AyVannah]

Saying you are doing things with the girl she doesn't like might make her act out more. Just ignore her. If she asks what you're doing, tell her you're hanging with your friends. Hmm.. Keep contact at bare minimal. Avoid her. Talk only when absolutely needed
Just some tips that I hope help

[uglyinsideandout]

And this is why I have no friends. I know they would feel just like this about me and tbh I'd rather be lonely and know everyone doesn't like me than think I might have a friend and get attached just to get dumped because my life is all messed up. In another thread I was told I just needed to get friends and such, but even before I read this thread I knew that it would be just like this. It is nice to know now that no one will ever want me because I won't get my hopes up.

[KarkatLuv]

Having a bad life is not a good enough reason to not have friends/have people not like you. The problem with my friend is that she is abusive to me and my friends, is never polite (eg. "your music is REALLY loud" while having hers 10x louder, or "be quiet before I punch you in the face" just because the person I talk to is not her. My problem is not her life problems. I Am always the person to come to when it comes to personal problems. My problem is both abusiveness and using me and my friends because as much as I have helped her (which includes trying to talk her out of suicide multiple times) she has not even once asked how I was feeling or cares if I said Im having a bad day. She would just once again mention something about herself and not care about me or the way I'm feeling. As long as you are a good person and you care about them as much as they care about you then a friendship would be fine.

[Luminous]

If I were in your position I would treasure her, and be so honored she felt that way. I would treasure any friend at all.

But I'm not her and since you want out just tell her "I really appreciate that you trust me so much. But I don't feel comfortable taking your problems and making them my own anymore." She'll probably freak but just sit there silently, hopefully she'll get the message.

[ovoxo23]

If I were in your position I would treasure her, and be so honored she felt that way. I would treasure any friend at all.

But I'm not her and since you want out just tell her "I really appreciate that you trust me so much. But I don't feel comfortable taking your problems and making them my own anymore." She'll probably freak but just sit there silently, hopefully she'll get the message.

I'm not sure I would treasure her, but instead I would take advantage of the fact tjat she like u so much. U should try to help her. Tell her that maybe cutting herself isn't good for her or basically just show concern for her. Since she likes and trusts u she will listen. Make sure she knows u care about her, and she will listen to just about anything u have to say. Tell her everything you need to and just be like "I'm telling you this because I like you and u r a goid friend" or something like that.

[KarkatLuv]

The thing is I do do all of that. The problem is she dosen't do the same for me. At one stage I told her that my dad had a cancerous growth and what I needed to hear was "don't worry about it, he'll be fine. If you need to talk about it i'm here for you." but all she said was "he might need kemo." And that was what I was worried about. Also she tries to isolate me from my other friends and keep me to herself. However we only just got back to school after the holidays and she seems to be being better, more friendly towards everyone and not trying to keep me away from others so I think everything should be okay from now on.