what should i do?? advice?

[cj4976]

well, me and this girl like each other a lot. only problem is, she just recently broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years.. who happens to be a good friend of mine. were just waiting for when everything has settled and to a point where i could ask my friend if he would really mind if i dated her. its very strange for me. are we doing the right thing in not telling anybody about it so soon? and just waiting to see how things go? I want to have a girlfriend but i also want to keep my friend. =/ or should i just break it off?

[Sugaree]

Well I think that the most important thing that you do first is to talk to your friend about it because if you hide it behind his back I'm sure he will be pissed the hell off.

So talk to him first about because if he's uncomfortable with it I strongly suggest that you don't do it.

[byee]

This is very thoughtful of you, considering the needs of your friend (eventhough he's no longer seeing her). Bully for you for thinking not just of yourself here!

Your response might be determined by the way the relationship ended. What happened? Who initiated the break up? And how are they with it?

I think if you approach them both with an acknowledgement of their feelings first, their sense of loss (afterall, 2 years is a long time, regardless of the specifics concerning the break up), I think there's less chance of them being offended or jealous. It's when people are seen as 'vultures', poaching a new girl (or guy) for themselves without first considering their feelings that there's trouble.

Show some understanding, let them know how much you like them both, then see if they're ready for you seeing her (in that order).

Good luck!

[Octo22]

She dumped him.

Good luck not losing him, 2 years can be a pretty long time for him to EVER let a friend after her. Depends on how intimate they were prior to break-up

[cj4976]

ok thank you everyone.