And Everything Falls Apart...

[AyVannah]

No matter what I do, my life continues to spiral in a violent downfall of loss, heartache, death, and depression. I can't do anything to help it and I can't talk to anyone about it. They don't seem to understand. They tell me to just get over it and grow up. I've tried x.x but my depression keeps coming back and I can't stop it. It occupies all of the dark corners of my mind and is spreading. :/

[Jessiibear]

Unfortunately, that's how depression generally works. It's not a normal sadness you can just get over with a snap of the fingers or a quick, "Just think happy thoughts." The gesture is usually nice, but for people to tell you to just get over it...? Clearly they don't understand the concept of depression. But that's their problem. Not yours. Don't beat yourself up or anything over other people's ignorance. 'Cause there are millions of people in this world who know what you're going through. No one can pin point the exact feelings you have to endure, but they can certainly lend support and empathy.

With life, my dear, comes death. It's just a part of life. So is heartache (we do have hearts--it comes with the package). All of these ugly ordeals are what make life...life. And you can choose to look at that cup half empty or half full. If you keep your head up, I promise you things will seem better. I promise you that. Think of it like having dirt in your eyes. That dirt is ugly, why does it have to be there? But since it's there, you see everything like dirt. Ugly. Messy. Screwy. But if you have light in your eyes, what will you see? Light. In everything. Death will turn into a transition, that person you love moving into a better place, relieved of whatever pain they had to go through. Heartache will turn into a lesson, a stepping stone. Think exercising. When you exercise, put your heart into it, you end up sore. But that only means that your muscles are forming and growing and strengthening. But you don't stop exercising because your muscles are sore...you keep at it. Some people like to take a couple days break, though, before they push again. And that's okay.

When you're feeling like shit and there are no ears or shoulders available, call a helpline (if it comes to that). Coming onto these forums was a good move. There are so many people here, including myself, who will listen and try to understand your pain. You are not alone. It is okay to feel the way you feel. You don't have to suffer so much, though--or at all. There are several aids. Choose one that works for you. Helpline, as aforementioned. Counselor. Anti-depressants. A social anxiety/depression club for teens in your local area. Talk to someone you trust. Therapy. Church (if you're into that). Just don't let it eat at you.

[AyVannah]

Thank you so so much, Jess. This has really helped me a lot. I am grateful to have found this forum.
I don't really want to tell my parents.. I don't want them to waste any money on me... X.x

[Jessiibear]

Thank you so so much, Jess. This has really helped me a lot. I am grateful to have found this forum.
I don't really want to tell my parents.. I don't want them to waste any money on me... X.x

If your parents cared enough, they would at least try to understand. And they're your parents. They're supposed to spend their money on you, lol.

[AyVannah]

I know. That's the problem though. They wouldn't hesitate. They need the money right now and I'd be using a good portion of it.. I couldn't pay them back until I get an amazing job (if I get one). I don't have anything to help out. The money I get from my job isn't a lot. It helps pay for a couple of groceries but that's it and that's an entire paycheck :/

[Jessiibear]

I know. That's the problem though. They wouldn't hesitate. They need the money right now and I'd be using a good portion of it.. I couldn't pay them back until I get an amazing job (if I get one). I don't have anything to help out. The money I get from my job isn't a lot. It helps pay for a couple of groceries but that's it and that's an entire paycheck :/

I hear you. :( As I said, though, there are other means. Have you tried pills or counselling through your family doctor (if you have one)? Just having someone there to talk to helps too. I don't know your story exactly so I can't help much. But I'm here! <3

[AyVannah]

Pills cost money...x.x I guess I could try to talk to some friends that won't think I should just get over it, yeah?

[AyVannah]

That's true.. I'm not sure what kind of insurance we have and what all it covers without them suspecting that something is wrong.

[Jessiibear]

That's true.. I'm not sure what kind of insurance we have and what all it covers without them suspecting that something is wrong.

If you talk to your doctor, they cannot tell your parents anything if you don't want them to. Unless they have to, of course, like if you have a plan to commit suicide for example. You say you work. You think maybe you can save up some mula on the side? You might not even need to, though, because getting a prescription can be easy (maybe even free of charge) and your parents don't have to know anything.

All in all, talking to those friends is a good step. Venting helps for the most part.

[AyVannah]

Well... You're right. And I will. I think I might have my closest friend take me to the doctor, actually.. Maybe. And yes, venting is really helpful.

[AyVannah]

I'll call and ask, then :)
Actually, I found out I have what's supposed to be my last check up with an old councilor... I might confide in her.. I haven't seen her in.. Wow... About 6 months, I guess

[Jessiibear]

I'll call and ask, then :)
Actually, I found out I have what's supposed to be my last check up with an old councilor... I might confide in her.. I haven't seen her in.. Wow... About 6 months, I guess

Really happy you've decided to take that step! I sincerely hope it works out for you. :)

[AyVannah]

Thank you very much, Jess :)

[Luminous]

You are stronger than that depression hon! You can confide in us, and in your friends. I was depressed too. I learned that it is just a feeling, and if I don't want to feel it, I shouldn't have to. It still comes back sometimes and I think "It would be better for everyone if I just killed myself" and then I realize that is not true.. it's not. So I put a smile on my face, no matter how artificial it may be, and walk out of the room like I own the place. Please, please remember how strong you are!

[AyVannah]

Thank you very much :') you are all awesome! Coming home to this after a long days work is awesome.

[randomuser666]

No matter what I do, my life continues to spiral in a violent downfall of loss, heartache, death, and depression. I can't do anything to help it and I can't talk to anyone about it. They don't seem to understand. They tell me to just get over it and grow up. I've tried x.x but my depression keeps coming back and I can't stop it. It occupies all of the dark corners of my mind and is spreading. :/

I know how you feel, no one really understands my depression except my mom and my psychologist. My friends can be insensitive to me at times, it makes me angry that they don't understand.

The one lesson I've learned is that feeling sorry for yourself won't help, you have to take charge of your life and be spontaneous. Get help, you may have to work longer or whatnot, but it's hard work to get better. And when you aren't feeling motivated, think about the part of you that wants to get better. Live a happy life, be free. It may be just a spark, a small flame, whatever, but only you can turn it into an inferno of motivation to get shit done. I wish you the best.

[AyVannah]

Thank you very much. That really does help. :)