afraid of them fading

[Ashleigh]

i feel like my scars are a part of me and theyre the only thing that i have right now that understands what ive been through. they are a reminder that i have fought against something at a point in my life and they remind me that every day i fight and im winning. . cutting has been a huge part of my life for five years now so im terrified of them fading because then its almost like they didnt exist?
so my question is is it just me who doesnt want them to fade because i know a lot of people hate having the reminder there.

[Conqueror of Hearts]

I hate my scars because they show ppl that I'm in mess, they show others how I feel.
I love my scars because they are me, part of my past, they show the pain the fight and one day they will show that I am a surviver.

I don't want ppl to see them but I want to see them, that is why I do and don't want them to fade. I have really mixed feeling about my scars.

[Jessiibear]

I hate my scars because they show ppl that I'm in mess, they show others how I feel.
I love my scars because they are me, part of my past, they show the pain the fight and one day they will show that I am a surviver.

I don't want ppl to see them but I want to see them, that is why I do and don't want them to fade. I have really mixed feeling about my scars.

Same!

[Desuetude]

I always hear about how people hate their scars and I just think, how can you?
I hate seeing them fade but it doesn't happen for a long time at least. I still have scars from 1 1/2 years ago and like you say, its a reminder of what you've been through and how you've overcome it. I'm not saying they're a good thing and I love my scare for other reasons but I do jot promote self harm in any way so I won't go into that. I agree with PeopleDon'tCare in the fact that I want them for my sake but I wouldn't want anyone else to see them.

Don't think about how others see them. Not everyone likes the fact that they're there especially if they remind the person of the negative reasons instead of the positive, that you're still alive and fighting. It's not strange to want them to stay but when they do fade, because the inevitable will happen, just think of it as you overcoming what you've been through. I know you like the reminder at the moment but in the future they'll come back to haunt you and you'll hate them, just because your scars fade that doesn't mean they never happened but its better that eventually they disappear.

[jayyy-lmao]

I've never cut; I was never able to bring myself to do it. But I know what it feels like to want to, and I understand what you mean about the scars. In my mind, it's not the blood I want to see, or the blade, or the pain, it's the scar. I, for some insane reason, think they're "brave" or that they're required for depression. I know they aren't, but my depression says they are. You're not alone in wanting scars

[batwomr.smithshane]

i feel like my scars are a part of me and theyre the only thing that i have right now that understands what ive been through. they are a reminder that i have fought against something at a point in my life and they remind me that every day i fight and im winning. . cutting has been a huge part of my life for five years now so im terrified of them fading because then its almost like they didnt exist?
so my question is is it just me who doesnt want them to fade because i know a lot of people hate having the reminder there.
Ik how you feel I dont want my scars to fade as how they show me that barriers can be broken but they fade and as you cut yourself because someone harmed you mine do the same and then I remember one of gods greats conviction "Forgive and forget." But idk if i can forget the pain inflicted even after my rapist left but I forgive him. And I hope God forgives him as I have.

[Yugen]

I really feel you there. My scars, as much as sometimes they embarrass me, they remind me that I've been fighting, and winning. Eventually i know they'll fade, and it's kind of scary to think they will, but I guess I'll always remember them there at least.

[Magenta]

I used to feel this way. But as I started self-harming less and less frequently, I started wanting them to fade. It was a horrible time in my life and I hate the reminder.

[Ashleigh]

i dont know i dont cut anywhere near as much as i used to and i find that i now can almost control it like i was about to the other day but i managed to tell myself no and chucked the blade across the room. but i still want the scars there. part of me is scared to stop because that means that eventually they will fade and then dissapear and i dont know if im ready for that yet. everyone has a safetly blanket that makes them feel better some peoples are teddys and i feel that mine are my scars

[Blackisme]

I kinda do and kinda don't want them to fade...I dont hide them but cross my arms when i feel uncomfortable. For a strange reason i think they tell people the feelings I can't say and it shows them I'm strong :/ most of mine are fading but I still remember them where they are and that reminds me that I'm strong

[numbness]

When I'm around my friends I don't feel I have to cover my arms because whether I like it or not they have seen first hand what I've been through. but when I'm around people I don't really know I cover my arms up more because I feel embarrassed

[suicidalbutter]

I love my scars, they are there to remind me that I can feel. That I have felt. They remind me I am human. I feel whole again when I see them.

[These.scars.are.me.]

I hate them because people look at me funny and they make my mum walk that little bit away from me in the street but I love them because they show that I can come up from being suicidal to not having cut in maybe 3 weeks now? So torn...

[uglyinsideandout]

I've never cut; I was never able to bring myself to do it. But I know what it feels like to want to, and I understand what you mean about the scars. In my mind, it's not the blood I want to see, or the blade, or the pain, it's the scar. I, for some insane reason, think they're "brave" or that they're required for depression. I know they aren't, but my depression says they are. You're not alone in wanting scars

I don't think it makes you brave to cut. I guess I can see why it might look that way but IMO it's a weakness. I do it and I don't even think about quiting because it's my release. Well, that and controlling what I eat. It's the only things that I have a say over, but surely not a sign that I'm brave. I'm scared of everything. People sometimes think I'm up to something because I jump when I'm startled but that's just how I am. Not brave in the least so please don't envy those brave enough to cut it's no badge of honor.

[numbness]

I don't think it makes you brave to cut. I guess I can see why it might look that way but IMO it's a weakness. I do it and I don't even think about quiting because it's my release. Well, that and controlling what I eat. It's the only things that I have a say over, but surely not a sign that I'm brave. I'm scared of everything. People sometimes think I'm up to something because I jump when I'm startled but that's just how I am. Not brave in the least so please don't envy those brave enough to cut it's no badge of honor.

I agree its not brave or courageous to cut, I think that for me personaly that its not even a mental choice any more its an automatic coping strategy and not something people should think of as being brave. trust me.its the complete opposite.if I were brave I would find another coping strategy rather than falling into the same vicious circle. however as many people know its hard.

[King_of_Hearts]

I agree that it isn't a badge of honour or bravery but (even though mine have almost faded completely) I will miss them because they show I am winning the battle.

[These.scars.are.me.]

yeah even though they make me so sad because they upset mum so much they make me really angry sometimes too because my lovely mother seems to think that with a newish group of friends i am with it is almost an entry thing which disgusts me. the fact that she sees them as that just makes me want to keep them more! she even had the nastyness to tell me not to wear short sleeves tops around her!! sorry bad mood needed to rant!!