Hurt and Confused

[Jessiibear]

They call it rape. But I don't know...

When I was younger, I was "raped" in the...bottom. I let him do it at first (because if I didn't, he would've done my other side) but then he pinned me down and I felt tearing and started to cry and try to push him off. I said "No." I said "Stop." But he said it was okay and kept going. That's rape, right?

Another time, it happened again in the back of a store with a different guy. He started by randomly touching me and sticking his hands in places he shouldn't have...he groped me and kissed me and everything. I didn't say "No" though. I showed subtle signs of resistance (moving away or not completing the task). I didn't even know him.

On top of that, many guys online have blackmailed me and verbally abused me. In person, they touch me without asking and don't care when I resist. But I'm still a virgin. For the front. Although many have tried to change that.

Is any of this really rape? I don't know...I'm just majorly confused. It hurts, though. That's gotta count for something, right? Guys are assholes...pretty much ruined it for the virgin. They just don't get me. It can't be meaningless all the time...it just can't. :/

Shit from my past piles up and I bottle everything. I used to be physically abused but now it's just verbal/emotional every day from family and guys. And this. There's something wrong with me, I just don't know what. Perhaps it's the severe anxiety thing...

[Manga]

The first is real rape, the others I wouldn't consider to be rape.

Why? Because in the first, you verbally said no. If you do not SAY no, then things can be considered mixed signals, such as that you are nervous. Don't let guys push you around like this. Tell them to stop if it makes you uncomfortable. If you don't, it is going to continue, and neither you nor them will get anything out of this. These guys will keep going on as if it is okay, and not learn when enough is enough. You will also have to deal with this and constantly feel uncomfortable. If people are verbally abusing you, you also have to tell them to stop. Make it clear to them that it is NOT okay. Ask them to tell you things in a nicer way, or to not talk to you at all. I had the same issue with my mother when I was younger, and now because of it I hardly ever talk to her and see her, despite her fixing herself. If you need to talk, there are a lot of people on here, including me. So try to not let the anxiety stay to yourself, and vent a bit from time to time like you did now. It will help you feel better and help you get past your problems.

Hope I helped:3.

[batwomr.smithshane]

They call it rape. But I don't know...

When I was younger, I was "raped" in the...bottom. I let him do it at first (because if I didn't, he would've done my other side) but then he pinned me down and I felt tearing and started to cry and try to push him off. I said "No." I said "Stop." But he said it was okay and kept going. That's rape, right?

Another time, it happened again in the back of a store with a different guy. He started by randomly touching me and sticking his hands in places he shouldn't have...he groped me and kissed me and everything. I didn't say "No" though. I showed subtle signs of resistance (moving away or not completing the task). I didn't even know him.

On top of that, many guys online have blackmailed me and verbally abused me. In person, they touch me without asking and don't care when I resist. But I'm still a virgin. For the front. Although many have tried to change that.

Is any of this really rape? I don't know...I'm just majorly confused. It hurts, though. That's gotta count for something, right? Guys are assholes...pretty much ruined it for the virgin. They just don't get me. It can't be meaningless all the time...it just can't. :/

Shit from my past piles up and I bottle everything. I used to be physically abused but now it's just verbal/emotional every day from family and guys. And this. There's something wrong with me, I just don't know what. Perhaps it's the severe anxiety thing...

Let me help you vm me saying you want help and i can ik ppl i was raped. Let mehelp all i need is premission. Do it for you. And all described here was rape. Let me help vm me do it

[Austins]

If there isn't consent it isn't rape. End of story

[Jessiibear]

The first is real rape, the others I wouldn't consider to be rape.

Why? Because in the first, you verbally said no. If you do not SAY no, then things can be considered mixed signals, such as that you are nervous. Don't let guys push you around like this. Tell them to stop if it makes you uncomfortable. If you don't, it is going to continue, and neither you nor them will get anything out of this. These guys will keep going on as if it is okay, and not learn when enough is enough. You will also have to deal with this and constantly feel uncomfortable. If people are verbally abusing you, you also have to tell them to stop. Make it clear to them that it is NOT okay. Ask them to tell you things in a nicer way, or to not talk to you at all. I had the same issue with my mother when I was younger, and now because of it I hardly ever talk to her and see her, despite her fixing herself. If you need to talk, there are a lot of people on here, including me. So try to not let the anxiety stay to yourself, and vent a bit from time to time like you did now. It will help you feel better and help you get past your problems.

Hope I helped:3.

Thanks. I've said no billions of times. Even to my cousin...none of them listen to me. It's hard to say no, you know. There's something wrong with me. :(

[Jessiibear]

If there isn't consent it isn't rape. End of story

You mean if there is NO consent than IT IS rape?

[Manga]

Thanks. I've said no billions of times. Even to my cousin...none of them listen to me. It's hard to say no, you know. There's something wrong with me. :(

I understand that. You might have to be a bit more forceful to get your point across, which may not be easy. When you say no the next time, say it loud and clear, WHILE pushing them off of you rather forcefully (don't push the guy to the ground, just push him back). After they stop for a moment or ask something generic like, "Why? What's wrong?", then go on to explain to them that you do NOT want to do this, and that you do NOT consent.

It isn't always easy to say no, and it can be even harder to say no and have the other person acknowledge it. Try working your way up with it. Say no to smaller things around them or other people as practice. When it comes down to it though, you will only be able to do it through sheer determination. Just keep remembering, what these people have done and are trying to do does not in any way reflect upon who you are, and that you do not want anything to do with these types of things with them. You're a great person, I'm sure, so make them realize this, and not treat you so poorly. You deserve better, and I really hope you get it.

[Austins]

You mean if there is NO consent than IT IS rape?

Oops.. That could have been a HUGE misunderstanding

[Hangover]

The first one is definately rape, the others are sexual harassment which can be just as bad for the victim imo.
If you want to say no but the words just get stuck in your mouth, run. It happened to me when I was around 11 and confused as I was I just couldnt make myself say anything.. So I turned around and ran

[Nekroshade]

Once you say no and they don't stop it's rape. If they get physical or try to blackmail you I know this can be hard but you have to let someone know about this. Sharing on here is a great start but your not going to get the help you need until you tell someone.

[batwomr.smithshane]

Thanks. I've said no billions of times. Even to my cousin...none of them listen to me. It's hard to say no, you know. There's something wrong with me. :(
Like I said Ik some ppl that can help you. I was raped six years in a row by my real father. These ppl really helped me and can do the same for you. All I need is premission to bring it to their attention then the ppl bothering wont be out of prison for a while. My lawyers nickname from me was Guardian Milidem, Milidem being his last name and Guardian for the orginazation he worked for. He is also a counselour. Ive helped people before. Her name was Jessie Kuhns. She was thankful. For proof I could get her on here with true pictures of her and proof I helped. Like I said Vm me you want help then bam its done

[LunarScorpio]

sadly, you have fallen victim to this kind of abuse.

Telling somebody is always going to be the best way to get it off your chest

[Jessiibear]

I understand that. You might have to be a bit more forceful to get your point across, which may not be easy. When you say no the next time, say it loud and clear, WHILE pushing them off of you rather forcefully (don't push the guy to the ground, just push him back). After they stop for a moment or ask something generic like, "Why? What's wrong?", then go on to explain to them that you do NOT want to do this, and that you do NOT consent.

It isn't always easy to say no, and it can be even harder to say no and have the other person acknowledge it. Try working your way up with it. Say no to smaller things around them or other people as practice. When it comes down to it though, you will only be able to do it through sheer determination. Just keep remembering, what these people have done and are trying to do does not in any way reflect upon who you are, and that you do not want anything to do with these types of things with them. You're a great person, I'm sure, so make them realize this, and not treat you so poorly. You deserve better, and I really hope you get it.

Thanks. You're really helpful, Matt. Saying no has always been difficult for me (as I'm sure it is for many, many people). People keep telling me I deserve better, but I just don't see how. Nothing good happens to me much. It's all abuse and neglect. Horny bastards everywhere, hurting me, calling me names...I have a few things I keep bottled up, things that men have done to me before and it hurts. But thanks for the advise. I'll try working up to it.

The first one is definately rape, the others are sexual harassment which can be just as bad for the victim imo.
If you want to say no but the words just get stuck in your mouth, run. It happened to me when I was around 11 and confused as I was I just couldnt make myself say anything.. So I turned around and ran

Sexual harassment, huh? That's what I thought, I just didn't know why I was so iffy. Thanks.

Once you say no and they don't stop it's rape. If they get physical or try to blackmail you I know this can be hard but you have to let someone know about this. Sharing on here is a great start but your not going to get the help you need until you tell someone.

The above quote suggests sexual harassment, but this implies a little differently. I've asked people before and I always get mixed answers: "It's only rape if it's sex." "Your cousin pinning you down and pulling down your panties and sticking his penis in your mouth while you're still asleep is rape." "When they touch you without your say-so, it's rape." "No, it's not rape unless you scream for help or say no." So, I've always been so confused. I don't know who to tell. I was a minor when the blackmail was most fervent. Think Amanda Todd. What difference would it make telling people now anyway? Release?

Thanks, Dark Wolf. :)

Please don't double post, use the edit button or multi quote button~Derri

[Manga]

Thanks. You're really helpful, Matt. Saying no has always been difficult for me (as I'm sure it is for many, many people). People keep telling me I deserve better, but I just don't see how. Nothing good happens to me much. It's all abuse and neglect. Horny bastards everywhere, hurting me, calling me names...I have a few things I keep bottled up, things that men have done to me before and it hurts. But thanks for the advise. I'll try working up to it.

It might be bad now, but I do hope you'll always remember that in the future, things will be better. No matter how bad your past has been, or the present may be, you won't be around these people forever; the future is yours eventually if you wait for it. You do deserve better. No one deserves to be treated the this way, including you. I'm sorry that horrible things have been done to you, but I hope you know that you can always vent on the forum. A lot of people on here will always listen, including me. So always feel free to talk about things that you need to get off your chest.

What difference would it make telling people now anyway? Release?

It's always better to have someone listen, and care about you. Talking can really help, even if you don't think it is a big deal anymore or if you think talking will do nothing. Just having someone be there can do wonders to make you feel better. You should try it, I'm sure it would help. After all, that is what some people like me are here for; listening and caring for people like you.

[Nekroshade]

What difference would it make telling people now anyway? Release?

Okay Rape is a type of sexual assault involving sexual intercourse(Oral, Anal, Vaginal, Fingering), which is started by one or more people against another person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion (extortion, blackmail, torture), abuse of authority (Father, older brother, cousin) or with a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as one who is unconscious (or Sleep), incapacitated, or below the legal age of consent

Sexual Harassment on the other hand is things like groping, sexual comments, Brushing up on you in a sexual manner

the statute of limitations(time in which it's a crime) in most states are 10 years to forever. It's not your fault these things happened to you. Everyone who has hurt you deserves to pay.

Okay Rape is a type of sexual assault involving sexual intercourse(Oral, Anal, Vaginal, Fingering), which is started by one or more people against another person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion (extortion, blackmail, torture), abuse of authority (Father, older brother, cousin) or with a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as one who is unconscious (or Sleep), incapacitated, or below the legal age of consent

Sexual Harassment on the other hand is things like groping, sexual comments, Brushing up on you in a sexual manner

the statute of limitations(time in which it's a crime) in most states are 10 years to forever. It's not your fault these things happened to you. Everyone who has hurt you deserves to pay.

You didn't even have to say know you could have only implied it (pushing them off, clinching your legs together, shielding yourself with your arms, ect) and it's still rape.

Please don't double post, use the edit button or multi quote button~Derri

[Jessiibear]

Okay Rape is a type of sexual assault involving sexual intercourse(Oral, Anal, Vaginal, Fingering), which is started by one or more people against another person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion (extortion, blackmail, torture), abuse of authority (Father, older brother, cousin) or with a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as one who is unconscious (or Sleep), incapacitated, or below the legal age of consent

Sexual Harassment on the other hand is things like groping, sexual comments, Brushing up on you in a sexual manner

the statute of limitations(time in which it's a crime) in most states are 10 years to forever. It's not your fault these things happened to you. Everyone who has hurt you deserves to pay.

You didn't even have to say know you could have only implied it (pushing them off, clinching your legs together, shielding yourself with your arms, ect) and it's still rape.

I see. Thanks...based on this, I've been raped and sexual harassed near 100 times (I rounded.) It's a chancy number, though, since online has always been my main source of ridicule, humiliation, black mail, sexual harassment, manipulation, etc. for years. That's how I know guys: horny bastards who don't give a shit about me and just treat me like a toy. I'm glad I'm here, though. You're awesome. Which, for me, is saying something.

It might be bad now, but I do hope you'll always remember that in the future, things will be better. No matter how bad your past has been, or the present may be, you won't be around these people forever; the future is yours eventually if you wait for it. You do deserve better. No one deserves to be treated the this way, including you. I'm sorry that horrible things have been done to you, but I hope you know that you can always vent on the forum. A lot of people on here will always listen, including me. So always feel free to talk about things that you need to get off your chest.



It's always better to have someone listen, and care about you. Talking can really help, even if you don't think it is a big deal anymore or if you think talking will do nothing. Just having someone be there can do wonders to make you feel better. You should try it, I'm sure it would help. After all, that is what some people like me are here for; listening and caring for people like you.

One thing I actually appreciate about life: people like you.

Please don't double post, use the edit button or multi quote button~Derri

[Nekroshade]

I see. Thanks...based on this, I've been raped and sexual harassed near 100 times (I rounded.) It's a chancy number, though, since online has always been my main source of ridicule, humiliation, black mail, sexual harassment, manipulation, etc. for years. That's how I know guys: horny bastards who don't give a shit about me and just treat me like a toy. I'm glad I'm here, though. You're awesome. Which, for me, is saying something.

You're awesome and you don't have to be afraid of some low life bitches because I guarantee if any of these bastards went to prison it would be open season because 99% of rapist are scared and prey on the weak or defenseless. I just can't understand why someone would do this to anyone especially someone like you it makes me so angry:mad:.

[Jessiibear]

You're awesome and you don't have to be afraid of some low life bitches because I guarantee if any of these bastards went to prison it would be open season because 99% of rapist are scared and prey on the weak or defenseless. I just can't understand why someone would do this to anyone especially someone like you it makes me so angry:mad:.

Shit happens.

[Manga]

I see. Thanks...based on this, I've been raped and sexual harassed near 100 times (I rounded.) It's a chancy number, though, since online has always been my main source of ridicule, humiliation, black mail, sexual harassment, manipulation, etc. for years. That's how I know guys: horny bastards who don't give a shit about me and just treat me like a toy. I'm glad I'm here, though. You're awesome. Which, for me, is saying something.



One thing I actually appreciate about life: people like you.

Please don't double post, use the edit button or multi quote button~Derri

Thanks, but just try your best to work everything out, and don't ever let yourself get too down about it, okay?

[CharlieHorse]

Report all those guys to the police. They don't deserve the pathetic lives they have for doing any of that to you. That is sexual abuse / assault. You did not deserve any of it. They are assholes.

[Jessiibear]

Thanks, but just try your best to work everything out, and don't ever let yourself get too down about it, okay?

Okay. Thanks. :)

Report all those guys to the police. They don't deserve the pathetic lives they have for doing any of that to you. That is sexual abuse / assault. You did not deserve any of it. They are assholes.

For most, there's no evidence anyway...but I agree, they are assholes.

[AdrianField]

Don't let guys push you we take it too far! A guy will keep going unless you def say no. And carry around some mace. Don't sex chat people either they have photos that are blackmailing get a new email if you have to.

[Katiya]

The first is rape 100%. The next are sexual harassment. Which is just as bad.

I'm sorry you had to go thru that. Its wrong. Theres absolutly NOTHING wrong with you!

You have to be forceful when saying no. Guys are ass holes and just don't get it. Well not all guys but so many are just awful. You have the right to defend yourself, so if you can you can hit them attack them what ever to get them off and away from you. No one would ever hold it against you. I've had to do it before to a man who tryed to hurt me and I got away BC my screaming and his yelling drew attention to what was happening and he let me go.

[Loner_97]

Hi! When I was younger,this 35 year old dude was trying to touch me in inappropriate place and I somehow managed to run away before anything happens. And I was like in 4th grade then. I still wake up getting nightmares and drenched in sweat. It was years ago but feels like yesterday. It's not your fault. People are dicks. They just look at people like they are sex objects. All you can do is try to be safe as much as you can. And Emotionally.. talking to people helps.And those jerks who talk to you badly, stay AWAY from such people. Nothing is worth the risk. Hope everything gets better for you. I really wish it would. It hurts alot.

[Azalez070]

YEah... it is rape if you don't respect each other.. i mean, how could someone just put something in with out loving each other, or at least, agreed to have sex.. i think it is rape...

[Jessiibear]

You know what really bothers me? When you can't say "no" because you're afraid for whatever reason, so you just suffer. It has happened to me so many times that I get angry when I can't label it and look at those incidents as just another part of life.

Which is another reason I just want to die...

Thanks for all your input. It's invaluable.

By the way, my heart really goes out to those of you suffering! <3