RebelHeart
July 17th, 2013, 01:06 PM
I'll try to remember all of the rules while typing this, hope I don't lose myself too much. Feel free to correct me
I just hate waking up, I hate having to live with my memories. I'm not depressed or whatever, I just hate being angry you know.
I don't want to be angry, and I'm trying so hard to stay calm, but everyone makes it so hard....
Rebel do this, Rebel do that, Rebel take out the trash, Rebel go get me another beer. Go do it yourself?! Just moved out, hoped to find some rest. I've had enough of my damn parents... Mom works whole day and night to get money to buy heroine, coke, meth, you name it. And if she can't make enough money, guess who has to spend her savings? And my dad, well, he spends the whole day in his chair watching movies and drinking beer. Guess three times who has to give him his pleasures if mommy ain't around? Now guess three times why I don't have a boyfriend, never had a boyfriend and never want a damn boyfriend, I f***ing hate boys!
People everyone calls friends are even worse, way worse, and yes it can be worse. Friends are people you hang out with until you need them, that's when the whole bunch of them turns around and walks away. But sometimes you need to burn your world down, to see who is still standing when the smoke clears, right? let me tell you this, every time my world burns down, I hope all the people in my world burn with it so I can get rid of them forever. I have to be there if they need me, if their world burns down. But when it was me who needed them, no one was there, I just had to figure it out myself.
Guess who told me I would make it one day, guess who told me that one day I would be able to live my life the way I want it. No one, NO ONE! You know what kept me on my feet? motivational speakers. I'd look for video's on youtube, filled with motivational quotes and speakers, that is what made me go on, that is what kept me on my feet.
Now my life is fine, now I can manage to be myself. But all the anger, all the hate, I just can't lose it. And you damn bet on it, once I get my PhD, my parents will tell me they always knew I would make it. I can tell you this, as soon as they ever try to get in contact with me once I get a degree, I will break their noses, without any doubt. Let's see if that would get rid of my anger!
Society around here is also messed up you know... They want it to look like they're doing a good job, putting kids whose parents are messed up in foster care. but ONLY if your mom hits you when they see it, or if your dad forces you to blow him while they are looking. If things seem to be okay in their eyes, they just let you rot in hell.
I just want to live my life, without those memories, live it on my terms, doing the things that I want to do...
And yes, my parents did call me Rebel, so I give them a rebel.
I just hate waking up, I hate having to live with my memories. I'm not depressed or whatever, I just hate being angry you know.
I don't want to be angry, and I'm trying so hard to stay calm, but everyone makes it so hard....
Rebel do this, Rebel do that, Rebel take out the trash, Rebel go get me another beer. Go do it yourself?! Just moved out, hoped to find some rest. I've had enough of my damn parents... Mom works whole day and night to get money to buy heroine, coke, meth, you name it. And if she can't make enough money, guess who has to spend her savings? And my dad, well, he spends the whole day in his chair watching movies and drinking beer. Guess three times who has to give him his pleasures if mommy ain't around? Now guess three times why I don't have a boyfriend, never had a boyfriend and never want a damn boyfriend, I f***ing hate boys!
People everyone calls friends are even worse, way worse, and yes it can be worse. Friends are people you hang out with until you need them, that's when the whole bunch of them turns around and walks away. But sometimes you need to burn your world down, to see who is still standing when the smoke clears, right? let me tell you this, every time my world burns down, I hope all the people in my world burn with it so I can get rid of them forever. I have to be there if they need me, if their world burns down. But when it was me who needed them, no one was there, I just had to figure it out myself.
Guess who told me I would make it one day, guess who told me that one day I would be able to live my life the way I want it. No one, NO ONE! You know what kept me on my feet? motivational speakers. I'd look for video's on youtube, filled with motivational quotes and speakers, that is what made me go on, that is what kept me on my feet.
Now my life is fine, now I can manage to be myself. But all the anger, all the hate, I just can't lose it. And you damn bet on it, once I get my PhD, my parents will tell me they always knew I would make it. I can tell you this, as soon as they ever try to get in contact with me once I get a degree, I will break their noses, without any doubt. Let's see if that would get rid of my anger!
Society around here is also messed up you know... They want it to look like they're doing a good job, putting kids whose parents are messed up in foster care. but ONLY if your mom hits you when they see it, or if your dad forces you to blow him while they are looking. If things seem to be okay in their eyes, they just let you rot in hell.
I just want to live my life, without those memories, live it on my terms, doing the things that I want to do...
And yes, my parents did call me Rebel, so I give them a rebel.