I just have to watch everything fall apart.

[EternalSadness]

I'm meant to stay apparently, to watch my (first and forever only) girlfriend kill herself, to live to see my family fall apart completely, to fail my education, to hurt even more people that don't deserve to be hurt, to cut myself more, to lose my mind, to be abused more, to lose others to suicide, and also to feel even more alone. And to think, I actually didn't mind life at one point. What point is there now?

[Conqueror of Hearts]

I am so sorry you have to go through all of that. I know that now it seems like there is no point in anything but things do get better no matter how dark these days are.
You are strong and brave and you'll get through this. Just keep fighting, you deserve to be happy. Just keep going, it will get better, I promise.

[EternalSadness]

I've been waiting 10 years for it to be better...

[The-Chosen-Hero]

I've been waiting 10 years for it to be better...

Instead of just waiting take action as well. Try and succeed at what you want to do in life that is fulfilling. Live to see your whole life unfold for the better. Live for those who have gone before you and make them proud. Fight, fight some more, and keep on fighting. Live to create a family and be the person you can be. Keep struggling and going to not just be alive but to be living it. Whatever you do don't give up because that is when you have truly lost everything.