A curious question regarding a lot of things

[effort]

Here's the deal; I'm an 18 year old Male, and I've had my second girlfriend now for just under 2 months. Up until this current girlfriend, I was a virgin. I've masturbated since I was younger, like 15 or 16, I can't remember, and that's always been fine. Looking at porn, etc etc. From talking to friends and whatnot, I know that I'm fairly normal when it comes to masturbation; regular things to stimulate, it takes a regular time and all that jazz.

But now that I have this second girlfriend and I'm a bit older (first one I was when I was about 16, pretty innocent for me haha) we've been sexually active. Like the general things you do. But I'm having problems. Nothing she does can make me cum. It feels great when she does it, but I just never get there. She's not bad at it, cause it does feel good, and she's had one previous boyfriend that she apparently made happy haha. It's just like I have realllllly long stamina. At first it was kind of funny, but then after like.. 45 minutes or an hour, she gets really tired and it's kind of concerning me now. I don't really think there's anything wrong with my body, cause when I masturbate, it works fine. It's just like, I don't know, nothing she does works.

She keeps apologizing like it's her fault, and I feel terrible, because I don't think it is. Does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me? Or what's wrong with the whole deal? I'm at a loss. It's not the most urgent of problems, as we're still young and I don't NEED to ejaculate etc, I just don't know what's going on, it's kind of confusing.

[byee]

Here's the deal; I'm an 18 year old Male, and I've had my second girlfriend now for just under 2 months. Up until this current girlfriend, I was a virgin. I've masturbated since I was younger, like 15 or 16, I can't remember, and that's always been fine. Looking at porn, etc etc. From talking to friends and whatnot, I know that I'm fairly normal when it comes to masturbation; regular things to stimulate, it takes a regular time and all that jazz.

But now that I have this second girlfriend and I'm a bit older (first one I was when I was about 16, pretty innocent for me haha) we've been sexually active. Like the general things you do. But I'm having problems. Nothing she does can make me cum. It feels great when she does it, but I just never get there. She's not bad at it, cause it does feel good, and she's had one previous boyfriend that she apparently made happy haha. It's just like I have realllllly long stamina. At first it was kind of funny, but then after like.. 45 minutes or an hour, she gets really tired and it's kind of concerning me now. I don't really think there's anything wrong with my body, cause when I masturbate, it works fine. It's just like, I don't know, nothing she does works.

She keeps apologizing like it's her fault, and I feel terrible, because I don't think it is. Does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me? Or what's wrong with the whole deal? I'm at a loss. It's not the most urgent of problems, as we're still young and I don't NEED to ejaculate etc, I just don't know what's going on, it's kind of confusing.

Yes, i imagine this is both confusing and frustrating for both of you.

If you can masturbate and orgasm by yourself, then the problem here isn't physical. Obviously, everything works.

The problem is psychological, there's something about being with a person (regardless of how attractive they are or how turned on you are) that is very different than doing it alone. It takes time to get used to that difference and get comfortable with it. It sounds like you and she need to take it a step back, maybe, and take the pressure off to perform. Just do the things, be close in the ways that are comfortable for the 2 of you, and give this some time. When you're ready to perform, when you're comfortable doing this in the presence (or inside of) another person, you will. If you keep pushing it, it'll get even more frustrating, and the performance anxiety you now have will multiply and the whole thing will be really stressful.

Take it slow, recognize that it takes time to adjust from being with yourself and 'doing it' with another person.

[effort]

Eh, I can't really argue, it seems like sensible advice.

But I'd say I'd have to be quite subconsciously nervous, because I don't feeeel awkward or nervous. I'm not sure. We've known each other for quite some time, so it's not like it's all happened super fast. I'm not sure.

I promised myself I wouldn't try again until I feel comfortable that I've got this stuff sorted out anyway. And also now I've got a full time job, less time to do stuff like that! Haha.

Thanks for your help though mate! :D

[byee]

And thanks so much for not wanting to argue with me, i really appreciate that, it's a nice touch!

I'm not sure I'd call what you have 'anxiety' in the traditional sense, the kind you're used to. This is just 'new stuff', you might be experiencing it just as new, and it takes time to adjust to it.

I like the plan of just giving the relationship some more time, be with her more, before you try again.

[effort]

Wow.. It's 4.45am where I am, I just decided to check this thread, and you'd just replied..

Ah, just what you were saying about spending time with her and whatnot, I do, I do! Haha.
I've known her for years, and she's been my best friend for a long while now. I don't know why we just decided to go out haha. It all seemed to work.

Thanks for the help though. As long as it isn't anything physical or seriously mentally wrong, I'm fine with it. I'll just let it go for a while.

[Sugaree]

Here's the deal; I'm an 18 year old Male, and I've had my second girlfriend now for just under 2 months. Up until this current girlfriend, I was a virgin. I've masturbated since I was younger, like 15 or 16, I can't remember, and that's always been fine. Looking at porn, etc etc. From talking to friends and whatnot, I know that I'm fairly normal when it comes to masturbation; regular things to stimulate, it takes a regular time and all that jazz.

But now that I have this second girlfriend and I'm a bit older (first one I was when I was about 16, pretty innocent for me haha) we've been sexually active. Like the general things you do. But I'm having problems. Nothing she does can make me cum. It feels great when she does it, but I just never get there. She's not bad at it, cause it does feel good, and she's had one previous boyfriend that she apparently made happy haha. It's just like I have realllllly long stamina. At first it was kind of funny, but then after like.. 45 minutes or an hour, she gets really tired and it's kind of concerning me now. I don't really think there's anything wrong with my body, cause when I masturbate, it works fine. It's just like, I don't know, nothing she does works.

She keeps apologizing like it's her fault, and I feel terrible, because I don't think it is. Does anyone have any idea what's wrong with me? Or what's wrong with the whole deal? I'm at a loss. It's not the most urgent of problems, as we're still young and I don't NEED to ejaculate etc, I just don't know what's going on, it's kind of confusing.


Well it might be the way it stimulates you. For some people it stimulates them to the point of ejaculation for others not. Or it might be that you have masturbated for a long time and really hadn't had the experience of having someone else do it. Either way I would say that it the way it stimulates you.

[ScotsGirl]

I think my friend has the same problem!!
He can have sex fine and blah blah blah but he said that he doesnt come at the end.

You arent alone I guess :) .

Im sorry I dont really know what to tell you except, maybe get her to stimulate you in another way, besides penis-vagina sex...maybe oral sex? I dont know if youve orgasmed from that with her, but if not, you could ask her (nicely haha! :P) to do that...and help her even more by telling her what feels good to make sure you come.
If this is a psychological thing, then that might start breaking down whatever barriers seem to be holding back your orgasms when having sex with another person.

Goodluck with things anyway, and have fun! ;) haha!
xxxx

[eskimogal700]

maybe you like anal? try different stuff, and maybe give yourself some self serve til u almost cum. then have her take over