Alexwellace
July 11th, 2013, 03:52 PM
Lately I've been having really violent thought all the time. Up till now I haven't acted on anything but I'm really scared that I will. Some part of me is just saying that is 'just a phase' or just growing up, but I don't feel right. I get really angry over very little things, like my parents will tell me to do the washing up, a perfectly reasonable request. Some days I will be fine with it, others I get really angry in scream in my head how I wish they where dead and worse, then go down and wash up anyway with a happy face on. One time when my mother came in to yell at me for having the chair the wrong way round ( I like it faced towards wall, she hates it like that. Neither of us can sleep knowing it is one way or the other...yeah there's quite a bit wrong with me) and I got so angry I was pushing my nails into my hand to stop me lashing out and ended up drawing blood when she finally left I had done it so hard.
I don't want to be a psychopath, that's not the most promising career choice I could go for. But I'm really scared that this isn't just a phase, so I'm asking has anybody else had these violent outbursts and did they go away? Is there a way to handle it, so instead of picturing slicing up my teacher from head to toe I could just mutter under my breath, like normal children do. Thanks for any help you can give.
I don't want to be a psychopath, that's not the most promising career choice I could go for. But I'm really scared that this isn't just a phase, so I'm asking has anybody else had these violent outbursts and did they go away? Is there a way to handle it, so instead of picturing slicing up my teacher from head to toe I could just mutter under my breath, like normal children do. Thanks for any help you can give.