Need Help

[Abgail 16]

S’pose I should start by saying I lead a very sheltered life and don’t have much of a social life to speak of,I’m 16 and don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
anyways,

I went to the movies with a guy friend,we were watching the movie and he took my hand and put it between his legs,his penis wansn’t out but I could feel it was hard.

I was so shocked and didn’t know what to do.
I ran out and went home on my own.
I don’t go out much and now that has made me feel even worse.

I am so upset right now.

and confused, are all boys like this.

[Taryn98]

No not everyone is like that, but whether you liked it or not, you could have handled it in a more mature way. if you didn't like it pull your hand away and after the movie explain to him why it made you upset. Running away doesn't solve the issue.

[Rina]

Not all guys are like that, but still it was very inappropriate that he did that. You didn't handle it the best way, but it's not "flattering" like no, I don't blame you for running (or if you had slapped him).

[Amber Bi]

I pretty much agree with Cyana on this one

[Sharona]

Tricky one - he probably just wanted to have some fun and let you know you are sexy and turn him on and his experiences with other girls may have lee him to think that was ok to do because they encouraged that behavior

However if he knows you well enough to know you haven't dont much with boys if anything at all he should know that's really rude! Unless you were being a flirt/tease (which I doubt) jumping from just kind of being on a date to rubbing his cock before even having kissed and accepting u r bf/gf is just wrong

Sure you could have handled it better like pulling away and a playful slap on the cheek or something - but you made it clear to him that he can't treat you like that and rush you
I really hope he apologizes

[CassieWTF]

The point is that he didn't ask your permission, he just grabbed you hand and put it there. Thats pretty much a very minor version of rape.

[Abgail 16]

Thank you all for your help and advice.

I should have said,there is no,bf/gf thing,he is just someone I know and we both wanted to see the movie and neither of us wanted to go alone.

[CatieBi]

Sorry that happened :(
I agree with Cyana

[Abgail 16]

do you know that or that's what you think cost he could have had a very different idea about what it was.


I know that now Natalie,too late unfortunatly,but I'm learning.:confused:

His parents and mine are friends and they occasionaly come over and that's when the movie was mentioned.

[Abgail 16]

first off that is sexual assault and secondly if it wasnt big call it small and make his ego go down
thats what i would do
ratatatata

Thanks Xeon!

My hand wasn't there long enough to know whether it was big or not but I like the idea.

[GigglyAbby]

All guys are not that way and I'm sorry that he misconstrued the idea of the movie. Have you spoken to him since and confronted him? I do think you handled the situation right because there's a chance if you said no or moved his hand -- it could've been worse. Better to walk away than scream in the theatre.

[rakster]

It's really cool that a boy gets horny and wants to have sex with you and everything, but what that guy did is just a little pervy IMHO. Doing sexual things should ALWAYS be your choice! Guys are always horny, that's a law of the universe, so he doesn't need to do anything to prove it to you. They also want to screw any female that gets within range, so unless you're in a committed relationship, you're no better to him than the next girl. I think your instinctive reaction was the right one and I'd probably do the same thing, even though I'm sexually active myself. You should do what YOU want to do when YOU want to do it.

[ElliEvens]

I agree with everything said. I just wanted to say that one thing no one has said is this or something like this is bound to happen again. I don't mean being forced to touch a guy but like something you are ready for or don't want to happen yet or the way it's happening. I just wanted to say you are in charge of you girl. Use your words and lust say, nope not gonna happen, don't even think about it. If you don't want it don't do it. I promise that if you just tell a guy and he's the right guy he won't get mad or leave or not want to keep seeing you. If he does for that good riddance!

[Abgail 16]

All guys are not that way and I'm sorry that he misconstrued the idea of the movie. Have you spoken to him since and confronted him? I do think you handled the situation right because there's a chance if you said no or moved his hand -- it could've been worse. Better to walk away than scream in the theatre.

Hi Giggly!

I haven’t spoken to him since and neither sets of parents know what happened,that’s the end of any contact we might have had.
Had we been on a date I might have expected something like that to happen and maybe even wanted it.

Thanks for your support.

[Abgail 16]

It's really cool that a boy gets horny and wants to have sex with you and everything, but what that guy did is just a little pervy IMHO. Doing sexual things should ALWAYS be your choice! Guys are always horny, that's a law of the universe, so he doesn't need to do anything to prove it to you. They also want to screw any female that gets within range, so unless you're in a committed relationship, you're no better to him than the next girl. I think your instinctive reaction was the right one and I'd probably do the same thing, even though I'm sexually active myself. You should do what YOU want to do when YOU want to do it.


Thanks Rakster,that's helped me a lot and made me more aware of stuff.

[Abgail 16]

I agree with everything said. I just wanted to say that one thing no one has said is this or something like this is bound to happen again. I don't mean being forced to touch a guy but like something you are ready for or don't want to happen yet or the way it's happening. I just wanted to say you are in charge of you girl. Use your words and lust say, nope not gonna happen, don't even think about it. If you don't want it don't do it. I promise that if you just tell a guy and he's the right guy he won't get mad or leave or not want to keep seeing you. If he does for that good riddance!


Thanks Elli,

You sound very strong and independant,two qualities that I need to work on.

[emily-candace]

you shouldn't be ashamed, he is the one that screwed up. you did nothing wrong. lots of guys want you to grab it. don't do anything you don't want to do. I have not touched my first one yet either but I have felt them hard when a date kisses me good night. And there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. Join my club.

[Abgail 16]

you shouldn't be ashamed, he is the one that screwed up. you did nothing wrong. lots of guys want you to grab it. don't do anything you don't want to do. I have not touched my first one yet either but I have felt them hard when a date kisses me good night. And there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. Join my club.


Thanks Emily!!!!:yeah:


You've made me feel really good about myself.


Doesn't happen very often.:(

[emily-candace]

You're welcome Abgail.

[Peta]

Abgail, good for you for running out. What he did is so wrong and he should be ashamed of himself. Not all guys are like that, it's just that there's always some that think that it's like a priviledge for you to pleasure them when really they should be privileged to get pleasure from you.

And I know from experience about living a sheltered life too. I lived a very sheltered life up until I was 17, but then I went on the wild side for a bit and I do regret it a fair bit. Ultimately you do have to step out to make friends, but it is easy to fall into the peer pressure trap and do something you regret. So I would encourage you to be careful when you plan on stepping out. I know how tough it can be, but it is worth it.

Regarding boys, that's a tough situation you're in. I haven't been in your shoes with that kind of situation (I have been asked plenty of times), but I have been hurt a fair bit with boys and I thought they were all bastards. But I met a new guy, we were often around mine and his family and friends a lot at the start rather then alone together. We started out as friends for a while but now we've been going out for nearly 7 months and we haven't done anything sexually. That kind of thing builds up a lot of trust. I now know that he respects, loves and cares for me so there are guys out there that aren't all bastards.

Good luck and I hope your ok. You seem like a lovely girl.

[Abgail 16]

Abgail, good for you for running out. What he did is so wrong and he should be ashamed of himself. Not all guys are like that, it's just that there's always some that think that it's like a priviledge for you to pleasure them when really they should be privileged to get pleasure from you.

And I know from experience about living a sheltered life too. I lived a very sheltered life up until I was 17, but then I went on the wild side for a bit and I do regret it a fair bit. Ultimately you do have to step out to make friends, but it is easy to fall into the peer pressure trap and do something you regret. So I would encourage you to be careful when you plan on stepping out. I know how tough it can be, but it is worth it.

Regarding boys, that's a tough situation you're in. I haven't been in your shoes with that kind of situation (I have been asked plenty of times), but I have been hurt a fair bit with boys and I thought they were all bastards. But I met a new guy, we were often around mine and his family and friends a lot at the start rather then alone together. We started out as friends for a while but now we've been going out for nearly 7 months and we haven't done anything sexually. That kind of thing builds up a lot of trust. I now know that he respects, loves and cares for me so there are guys out there that aren't all bastards.

Good luck and I hope your ok. You seem like a lovely girl.

Hi Peta,

Thank you for your lovely message.

Maybe we can PM when we both get our posts up?

Abi

[Peta]

harsh much?

i'm not trying to defend the guy but i wasn't there and don't know if he thought it was a date. sure your at a school assembly and some random guy does this it's out of line but that's not the case here.

and apparently he thought it was at least worth taking a chance she'd like it but oops he guessed wrong, so he's supposed to be ashamed of making a mistake? i hope you never make mistakes becos you'll be carrying around alot of guilt.

this kinda reminds me of something my dad said once. we were watching some nature show where a lion was taking down a gazelle or whatever and i was like 'ew... that's so gross the lion is so mean' and my dad calmly explained to me that you can't be mad at the lion for doing what lions do. boys are horny he was trying to advance the relationship and misjudged the situation but he really shouldn't be ashamed to be a hormonal teen boy.

Sorry, but what he did is completely disrespect and selfish. The guy did not even have the nerve to ask whether it was ok, he grabbed her hand and did it. I understand that teenage guys think about sex a lot, but that does not give them the right to do what they want.

Comparing animals to people? I just don't agree with that. People know right from wrong still and what he did was totally wrong. It wasn't as bad as rape but it's heading down that path. I've been in a relationship with a teenage guy for 7 months and we haven't done anything sexual nor has he even tried anything like that. He's living proof that boys can control themselves unlike lions.

[Peta]

Hi Peta,

Thank you for your lovely message.

Maybe we can PM when we both get our posts up?

Abi

Sure Abi, happy to :)

[Peta]

Geez, I don't wanna turn this into a bitch fight.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree hey.

[PandaLeah]

IMO no all boys are not like that, and some girls are like that. Find a gentlemen or gentlewoman... next time a slap... or even do what I do.. grab and squeeze very hard... to let him know you didn't like it.

[Noah_]

I know I shouldn't post here, but I saw this and it grabbed my attention and I couldn't help but give my input (ban or not). I think what he did was very inappropriate. I can understand him being sexually attracted to you, I just think he could of approached in a different way (such as kissing you). There are a lot of girls I meet that I would love to put there hand on my crotch, but that is harassment and unfair. I understand your reaction (and there is nothing wrong with what you did, now he understands he went too far too soon) but you were much better off moving your hand away or slapping him on the face. If you are attracted to him, tell him, but then explain why you ran out. Sorry, just had to give my input from a male perspective.