JRwulf64
July 9th, 2013, 05:43 PM
So i have this really close friend of mine that is in a really sticky situation. For the sake of confidentiality we can call him John. John just turned 14 and i consider him my little brother. While the feeling isn't entirely mutual i will always be there for him no matter what. Id take a bullet for this kid, that's how much i love him. Anyways he's in a tough situation with his home life. His father is or was an alcoholic and neither of them want anything to do with each other. His mother is always working or dealing with johns older brother. I don't know much about her boyfriend. John's brother graduated a year or two ago and still lives at home, we can call him Bob. Bob and just had a baby with his girlfriend. John is also bisexual and feels like his family wont accept him because of it.
A while back before Bob and his girlfriend had the baby, John would always talk about the fighting and screaming that would be going on between Bob and bob's girlfriend. John also talked about his worries about not being accepted by his family. John posted on tumblr about barricading himself in his room, dresser in front of the door, stack of letters and a bottle of pills beside him. At the time i didn't even know what tumblr was so i didn't know about it until months later. When i finally did, and after deciding i would rather him hate me for the rest of my life than be dead. I told my friend,(who is like a sister to me and is also friends with john. we can call her Emily) and we agreed we would go to the school counselor the following day and report it.
He faked his way through his crisis evaluation. so they found him to be okay. and they did nothing.
One night John texts me while i was in a meeting, so i didn't see it until at least an hour later. The text was him panicking because he was going to do it and needed help. To this day I still beat myself up thinking about what if he did do it, what if i could have helped and i just wasn't there for him. For the next couple weeks i tried to get him to open up and get through to him to see if i could help. after he shut me out once again i showed Emily and we again agreed to report it to the school counselor.
He again faked his way through the crisis evaluation. again they found him to be okay. And they again did nothing.
A couple months passed and he seemed fine, until that one day came. He had a really bad day at school and we were staying after school until 8. He disappeared for an hour. I thought he went to take a walk (thinking that we had moved passed it all and he was okay). Eventually needing his help with something i went looking for him. I found him in the bathroom sitting on the window sill with the window wide open to the courtyard 2 stories below with no screen. Believing we had moved on from it all i thought nothing of it until he later admitted that he was thinking about jumping, saying that no one would miss him and the world would be a better place without him.
After i tried to get him to open up to me, he again shut me out. This time i chose not to report it because i was worried that if i did, if he needed help he wouldn't open up to me ever again.
The end of the year came and he seemed fine, and still today seems fine, but i'm worried about him. He started smoking weed to relieve stress and prior to that he would cut. I'm worried that hes not getting the right help that he needs. I tried to convince him to start seeing a counselor that it could be really helpful but he said he doesn't want any help. His pride is getting in the way of his health and i just don't know what else to do. He has a very big temper and gets irritated very quickly. Talking about all this stuff is a very sore subject with him and i only just got back on good standing with him. I still consider him my little brother. I will do anything for him. i love him. I want him to be happy but i don't know what else i can do.
The other night we had a 5 hour long conversation on the phone, originally because he was walking down the street at midnight and got scared, but moved on to his friends. I respected my boundaries and never said anything about his "friends" until that phone conversation when he told me to speak my mind. So, i told him how i felt. The people he calls "friends" do nothing but treat him like shit, walk all over him and stab him in the back when he jumps through hoops for them. They every so often "need their space" from him and go months without even acknowledging his existence. His "best friend" wont even speak to him. He cares the most for the people that treat him the worst.
I've always been there for him and always will be. All i do is care for him and in return i get shut out and ignored, even now. I'm not going anywhere no matter how much he hates me i will defend him to my last breath. i just don't know what else i can do to help him and its killing me. Its killing me that i cant do anything but sit by and watch while he continues to suffer the pain and the hurt that he does.
A while back before Bob and his girlfriend had the baby, John would always talk about the fighting and screaming that would be going on between Bob and bob's girlfriend. John also talked about his worries about not being accepted by his family. John posted on tumblr about barricading himself in his room, dresser in front of the door, stack of letters and a bottle of pills beside him. At the time i didn't even know what tumblr was so i didn't know about it until months later. When i finally did, and after deciding i would rather him hate me for the rest of my life than be dead. I told my friend,(who is like a sister to me and is also friends with john. we can call her Emily) and we agreed we would go to the school counselor the following day and report it.
He faked his way through his crisis evaluation. so they found him to be okay. and they did nothing.
One night John texts me while i was in a meeting, so i didn't see it until at least an hour later. The text was him panicking because he was going to do it and needed help. To this day I still beat myself up thinking about what if he did do it, what if i could have helped and i just wasn't there for him. For the next couple weeks i tried to get him to open up and get through to him to see if i could help. after he shut me out once again i showed Emily and we again agreed to report it to the school counselor.
He again faked his way through the crisis evaluation. again they found him to be okay. And they again did nothing.
A couple months passed and he seemed fine, until that one day came. He had a really bad day at school and we were staying after school until 8. He disappeared for an hour. I thought he went to take a walk (thinking that we had moved passed it all and he was okay). Eventually needing his help with something i went looking for him. I found him in the bathroom sitting on the window sill with the window wide open to the courtyard 2 stories below with no screen. Believing we had moved on from it all i thought nothing of it until he later admitted that he was thinking about jumping, saying that no one would miss him and the world would be a better place without him.
After i tried to get him to open up to me, he again shut me out. This time i chose not to report it because i was worried that if i did, if he needed help he wouldn't open up to me ever again.
The end of the year came and he seemed fine, and still today seems fine, but i'm worried about him. He started smoking weed to relieve stress and prior to that he would cut. I'm worried that hes not getting the right help that he needs. I tried to convince him to start seeing a counselor that it could be really helpful but he said he doesn't want any help. His pride is getting in the way of his health and i just don't know what else to do. He has a very big temper and gets irritated very quickly. Talking about all this stuff is a very sore subject with him and i only just got back on good standing with him. I still consider him my little brother. I will do anything for him. i love him. I want him to be happy but i don't know what else i can do.
The other night we had a 5 hour long conversation on the phone, originally because he was walking down the street at midnight and got scared, but moved on to his friends. I respected my boundaries and never said anything about his "friends" until that phone conversation when he told me to speak my mind. So, i told him how i felt. The people he calls "friends" do nothing but treat him like shit, walk all over him and stab him in the back when he jumps through hoops for them. They every so often "need their space" from him and go months without even acknowledging his existence. His "best friend" wont even speak to him. He cares the most for the people that treat him the worst.
I've always been there for him and always will be. All i do is care for him and in return i get shut out and ignored, even now. I'm not going anywhere no matter how much he hates me i will defend him to my last breath. i just don't know what else i can do to help him and its killing me. Its killing me that i cant do anything but sit by and watch while he continues to suffer the pain and the hurt that he does.